[AmericanAngel]

Okay... where to start....

My dad is sort of abusive,mostly emotionally,but sometimes physical when in a really bad mood. Anyways, he seems to be putting me down,ALOT! I am trying so hard to ignore the things he says to me,but it just hurts so much sometimes. It's worse when he does it infront of the youth group I go to... because those are possible friends!! I've almost made a few,then he'll say something about me,and then it just blows up. Sometimes the things he says just makes me wanna go kill myself to make it all stop,the painful words that just hurt. Anything that goes wrong,my dad makes it clear that it is my fault. Now anything that happens,I dunno whether it is my fault or not. In ways I feel like it is. Like anything that happens is my fault. Also that I have no future to look forward too,no college or nothing because in his eyes i'm nothing..i'm stupid,an idiot,and worthless. How do I ignore the painful words that he says that brings me down????
Any words of advice or anything,would be very appreciated! Thanks

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~
~~~~Sabrina~~~~~~~

[heidu]

Hey Sweetie, I am sorry you have to deal with this. Don't put blame on yourself. Your dad is the one with the problems not you. He's the one causing the hurt and pain. Who knows why. Maybe he was raised that way and never saw that his life could be different. Your's can though, remember that.

Maybe he is suffering himself but doesnt know how to express it and is taking it out on the ones he loves. That's not too uncommon unfortunetaly.

Whatever is causing him to treat you the way he does, it is his problem, not yours. Sadly, your the one who has to deal with it and suffer because of his meaness.

Your dad has no right to hit you. There is NOTHING you could do or say that gives a parent the right to hit. NOTHING.

I don't know you too well so I have to ask some questions. Where does your mom fit into all this? Do you have brothers and/or sisters?

You are stupid, worthless or an idiot. That I can promise you. You are allowed to make some mistakes. It's all part of growing up and learning about life. You'll be making more and more decisions for yourself and you will make mistakes too. That's COMPLETELY noraml.

You are smart and creative. I read your posts and they are not the words or thoughts of a stupid or worthless person. Trust me, it's true :O)
Big hugs sweetie,
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

[AmericanAngel]

Hello,thank you for your reply!
It's okay that I have to deal with it,it just gets really hard sometimes. Yeah,I guess that's possible. Okay,i'll try to remember that!

Well,my mom and dad are getting divorced... next year..so they don't talk much and stuff.My mom tells me not to listen to that stuff,but it is hard at times. Yes, I have 2 older siblings,2 younger ones, and a brother/sister in law..and a neice/nephew.

Okay,thank you very much,heidu!!
(((((((((((((Hugz))))))))))))))))))))

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~
~~~~Sabrina~~~~~~~

[Serenity]

This one hits home...Ive had it for most of my life....I'll have to think awhile before I can reply to make sure I dont get too emotionally tied up in it and am more helpful than jsut drudging up thing sI care not to. But I wanted you to knwo I feel for you, my cyberdaughter....YOU are a wonderful girl...period.
I'll reply better when I can "Sweet Child of Mine"

[heidu]

Angel,
I want to explain something. I wrote "You are stupid, worthless or an idiot." BUT I meant to say, you are NOT stupid, worthless or an idiot. I missed it and I think you did too or you got what I meant but I just wanted to let you know.

It isn't ok that you have to deal with emotional and/or physical abuse. You said your parents are divorcing and I hope you will be with your mom where you don't have to deal with this horrible thing. It's not right of your father to treat you that way.

Your mom is right. Don't listen to that stuff. It's about your dad not you. I know when it is coming at you and he is angry it is hard. I hope you can find peace and avoid it as much as possible. Maybe someday he will realize what he has done to his precious daughter and realize how lucky he is to have you in his lfe.

I hope your other family members aren't suffering the same abuse but I am glad to know you are not alone.
Hang in there sweetie.
Big hugs,
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

[AmericanAngel]

Hey,sorry you've had to go through it for most of your life. I hope your not now? Thank ya,cybermama. Thanks
(((((Serenity)))))

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~
~~~~Sabrina~~~~~~~

[Serenity]

every day my virtual daughter...each and every day....I know the scars and pain it causes and leaves. I'll find a way to reply "properly" yet.....maybe even give you some tools to work with to deal with it...but its gonna take me a bit to figure it out. Just know I love ya and think you're wonderful....very proud of you , Sabrina...youre young,smart and beautiful....keep telling yourslef that....other peoples frustrations and hang ups are NOT your fault even though sometimes you have to bear the unfair brunt of it.
My love always
CyberMomma

[AmericanAngel]

That's alright,heidu! I didn't see that hehe,but it's all okay. Thanks.

Yeah,my parents are divorcing. Sometimes it kinda sucks,but then when things happen,I just know it's for the best. Yes,i'm going to be living with my mom. Once they file for the divorce,i'll be 16,so I can choose.

Yeah,it is pretty hard when it is coming and me and stuff. Yeah,I hope so! Yeah,he doesn't treat 'em all that way. Well sorta,he does once in a while,but not all the time.

Thank ya! ((((((((heidu)))))))))))

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~
~~~~Sabrina~~~~~~~

[AmericanAngel]

I'm sorry then,virtual momma. Okay,thanks!
Thanks,love ya too Okay,i'll try to keep telling myself that then. Yeah,guess that's true! hehe thanks.
Love always,
CyberDaughter

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~
~~~~Sabrina~~~~~~~

[Serenity]

no "guess" that's true...it plain and simple is...period
Iv espent alot of time at your site....learned ALOT about you..we've had our private chats and ourpublic ones....liek I said...you're jsut like my real-life Baby...so...no "GUESS" about it

[AmericanAngel]

how ya doing?
hehe okay no guess then .....
Yeah?That's cool then... have you been able to post anything yet?
Yeah? thanks ((((((((((((CyberMamma)))))))))))))))))))))))

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~
~~~~Sabrina~~~~~~~

[Serenity]

Nope couldnt get the proboard to work I tired,that count>?
How are things at home? You doing ok>?

[AmericanAngel]

That sucks that ya couldn't get it too work. Yeah,that counts Maybe if I invited ya,think that'd work?

Things are going okay at home I guess... my dad is acting kinda weird...think he is trying to get me to go down to AK when he leaves,but I wanna stay here. His girlfriend is kinda pushy (like him). Soo kinda makes him more pushier and stuff. How are things at home going for you?
Yeah,i'm alright thanks... you?
(((((((hugs)))))))))))

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~
~~~~Sabrina~~~~~~~

[Serenity]

Sure, invite me it can't hurt
You make the decisionthat's right for YOU when that time comes. It sounds liek you have safety and reassurance with your Mom....so don't let your Dad "guilt" you into going with him or anything else. He cuts you down and makes you feel bad about yourself...that isn't healthy. His g/f CHOSE to be with him...if she wants to bear that brunt of her own free will so be it...but you don't have to.
Anyway,..you have a third choice.*waving arms* CyberMomma is here too! *tidies up the guest room * hehehehe
I'd love to saythings are ok...but Id be lying...so lets jsut say Im gettin by
love ya
Jenn

[AmericanAngel]

Hey,how's it going?
Okay,I checked all over the site for the "Invite" button...but I can't find it anywhere.. ... maybe this link will help... ?
http://sabrina1687.proboards22.com/i...ction=register

Yeah,I will have to make that descion when the time comes. I know I wanna stay here in New York though. At least for now. Yeah,I like it with my mom. Yeah,that is what he does,and it does hurt at times,some times more than others. Thanks! hehehehe (((((((((CyberMomma))))))))))))

Aw i'm sorry that ya can't say things are okay. Since they're not,I hope that they will be soon! *hugs*
love ya,
Sabrina

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~
~~~~Sabrina~~~~~~~

[Serenity]

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.ladyjayes.com/be.html>http://www.ladyjayes.com/be.html</A>

[Rapunzel]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sabrina}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I don't always read this board and I was so busy last week I wasn't keeping up, so I just saw this. I'm so sorry that your dad is like that. Has he always been that way?

From what I've seen you post before, I know you are are a wonderful person, intelligent, talented, .... Of course it isn't your fault. He has a problem, and he takes it out on you because you're available and he can. Please don't believe his lies. Tell 'ya what - whatever lies he tells you, if you aren't sure you can assure yourself that it's a lie and you really are a good person, just let us know about it and we'll tell you that it's a lie. Deal?

If you really want to go to college, you can do it. If your parents don't help you, maybe it won't be easy but you can do it. I did, and my parents didn't help me. You're 16. Soon you'll be free of him and your whole life is in front of you. The future is yours for the taking, and it's what you make of it.

You are a wonderful person, no matter what he tells you.
{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
Wendy

<font color=red>"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing." -Harriet Braiker</font color=red>

[AmericanAngel]

Thanks! hehe (((((CyberMomma)))))

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~
~~~~Sabrina~~~~~~~

[AmericanAngel]

((((((((((Wendy))))))))

Yes,he has always been like this. Every year he just gets worse though. Okay,thanks! Yeah, deal!

Yeah,I do really wanna go to college.. I wanna do something right with my life this time. That's good that you still got to go to college though your parents didn't help. Sorry that they didn't help. Thank you!

((((Hugs)))))

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~
~~~~Sabrina~~~~~~~

[Rapunzel]

{{{{{{{{{{{{Sabrina}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Make sure you tell us when he starts to make you feel like you're worth less than what you really are. You are precious, and of infinite worth. Remember that, and when you need to be reminded, just let us know.

I could give you a few pointers about getting through college if you have to do it on your own. Start now doing the right things to show that it's important to you. Take your college placement tests and do your best in your classes. There is financial aid. The problem I kept having was that my parents wouldn't give me their income information as fast as I needed it (and they insisted on claiming me as a dependent even though they weren't supporting me, which meant that I had to include their income information), and if I had had the financial aid applications in on time I could have had more grant money and not needed loans so much, but some of the grant money is first come first serve. The thing that was so unfair was I had a roommate whose parents were ranchers, which almost by definition qualifies for financial aid, even though they were pretty successful ranchers. She got twice the grant money that I did and didn't need any loans, and her parents were paying all her rent and giving her money for food. My parents really didn't have money, and I should have been able to get more help from the government (it's mostly need-based) but I couldn't get the applications turned in early enough. So, make sure to turn things in on time. Well, maybe it's a little early to get into that stuff. When you get there, we'll talk about it more. The important thing is, you can do it, even without supportive parents. Just let me know if I can help you with anything.
Wendy

<font color=red>"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing." -Harriet Braiker</font color=red>

[AmericanAngel]

Hello Wendy,

Yeah,i'll make sure to tell you all when he starts to make me feel that way again. Thank you! I'm thinking about going to this youth program tonight,my dad helps out there,and try and work on blocking out the things he says that hurts... but i'm not sure if i'll be going or not,kinda trying to think about that today.

Thank you for the college pointers. I'll have to copy that down. hehe.

(((((Wendy)))))

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~

~~~~Sabrina~~~~~~~

[Gez]

((((Sabrina))))

I miss a lot of these posts because I dont come to this board very often but perhaps I should start.

Dont let your father shape your thoughts, especially about yourself. I've been through all this with my own father, I know what its like. Stand proud and be positive. You ARE a beautiful person, its easy to see that in your posts. Just believe it yourself and try and ignore those nasty little snipes ok?

Love and hugs



Gez

[AmericanAngel]

Hello (((((((Gez)))))
How are you?

Yeah,I come here whenever I can,but it's not very often,unfortunetly. It's a nice site!

Okay,i'll try my best then. Thank you! Yeah i'll try.
Thanks!

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~
+SABRINA+

[Serenity]

pssst IU stil wuv ya my cyber daughter

[AmericanAngel]

aw thank ya cyber momma, wuv ya too! (((hugs)))
how are you??

~*~A million words would not bring you back,I know because of tried. Neither would a million tears,I know because i've cried.~*~
+SABRINA+