Advice needed

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year, at the start things was fine and he made the happiest girl alive as I was down and depressed before I got with him but now I am worse off. But a few months into the relationship he turned violent and controlling. I wasn't aloud out with my friends, see my family, he would cheat then say it was my fault, say I was fat and ugly, wasn't aloud my own money. It would start of as he didn't get his own way over silly things and he would punch, bite, kick, strangle me. I got pregnant about 6 months into the relationship, and he promised he would change so we moved in together I was far away from anyone I knew and one night we had an argument and he threw a tv at my stomach and I was rushed to hospital put on morphine and I lost alot of blood, I was 4 months pregnant. After that he started saying its my fault the baby was dead and he is glad it was gone, and he didn't think he was the dad anyway when he was. Not long ago he kicked me in the head loads of times and strangled me. Smashed the place up, my laptop and phone and a friend called the police, I got bruises all over my face and body I can't even look in the mirror now. They arrested him and he isn't aloud to contact me, or ring but he has rang he won't stop ringing. I'm back with a family member safe so he doesn't know where I am, but I can't stay here long incase he finds out where I am. I don't know what I have done to deserve this I feel like it's my fault the baby is gone. But I feel like I deserved all this and I can't be without him. I feel like i'm loosing my mind, I'm not going to contact him because im scared he will find me. He admitted to the police he done it and he has done it most days for over 9months, it might end up in court but I dunno if I can go through with it. I love him. But I don't want him to hurt anyone else or hurt me again, I need to walk away else he will end up killing me and he even said to me before he wants to kill me. I need some friendly advice and support from someone who knows what to do and how I can get through this. I got a meeting with the domestic abuse team tomorrow and I need to tell them everything that has happened because before I didn't tell them because I was scared. I can't even go and get my stuff I got no clothes or nothing till the police take me to go get it from my place. He isn't aloud near my place as the tenancy is mine. I'm going to have to move somewhere where he can't find me,but i'll be alone. Please someone help.

Do not walk away....run!!! You will have a life-time of abuse with this guy. You deserve better than that.

somehow you have to find the strength and believe the truth that this man shouldn't be in your life and get out ASAP!
be safe (((hugs)))

I think this male has forfeited his ability to access you. He had no right to abuse you that way. He needs to find help for himself, you can't provide it. He isn't your problem, you are your problem right now. Keep yourself safe, however. This man sounds deadly, keep him away, don't listen to him. He sounds like a talented liar, they are deadly, I know. I wish I could make this better for you, I can't. I do feel your pain though. Don't worry about the failed pregnancy, it happens. Besides he threw the TV, how is that your fault? He sounds dangerous, stay safe. Good luck.

You are a very caring, sensitive person who thrives on closeness. All good things. But ... it's just not fair or realistic to give up your own safety or self-esteem in order to be loved. You didn't deserve this situation, it is clearly not your fault!!! I agree with the other posters here: stay safe and get out of this relationship. No-one deserves to be treated the way you have been.

If there are any shelters, domestic violence advocacy groups, or other similar resources in your area, please find them and talk to them. They will be able to give you sound advice. I wish you all the best.

This is exactly how these abusive men operate. First they get you hooked and then their violence comes out. These men are really sick and need to be avoided completely.

You haven't done anything to deserve this terrible treatment. I'll bet that you have very low self worth and feel that you don't deserve anyone better. You do deserve better treatment! Please work on your self worth so that you can learn that you deserve better and that you are strong enough to stand on your own.

The domestic violence center can help you with this. Taking this through the court is how he can be stopped so that he can't continue to hurt you or others.

You got that right. Don't forget this.

Please continue to work with this organization and we will support you here.

Do you have a legal restraining order in place? If not that is probably a good step. If he violates it the police can pick him up and throw his butt in jail. Honey you do not deserve any of this. No one deserves to be beat up, have tv's thrown at them. You are right. You need totally stay away from him. He is dangerous.
Please continue work with the domestic abuse team too. Recovery is a process and does not always happen as fast as we would like. Most important you need to keep safe and enlist the help of law enforcement if necessary.
My heart reaches out to you. I wish I could make it all better
Hugs

I know how hard it can feel to get away from a situation that must sometimes feel okay at times but other times leaves you in so much pain, pain that you may struggle to see that you don't deserve. When people closest to you make it hard to help you to believe that you are worth better treatment, that you have lots of great things to offer it can be hard to believe that your as deserving of real, genuine love and care.

When a person treats you like you are deserving of much less respect, love, care, happiness than what they expect you to give them they cannot be either 'in love' with you or truly love you. You deserve to have genuine love. By letting go of this man completely from your life you'll give yourself the chance to move forward into a better state of mind. I have been to some degree where you have come from and eventually left that situation which opened the door to a very kind and compassionate man, my only regret was that I wished I had left violent man before him sooner.

Have you considered sharing so you don't have to live alone? Will the person who has been looking after you now help to check on you from time to time? Are you able to move away further than you planned. Change you're mobile number if you can. Do what you can to break ties with your ex. No human deserves what you have gone through and I hope that someday you will be able to believe that for yourself. Take care you deserve to have kindness, compassion and understanding