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#1
Mar 26, 2012, 09:26 PM
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"I haven’t hooked up with anyone in at least 6 months but, this is good but, this isn't good because I am kind of obsessed with control. It's making me somewhat stressed. This may sound weird but, it’s giving me anxiety that I haven’t been able to ‘control’ someone in that way for a while. I don't act this way directly, it's kind of passive...Now, I have to force myself to not replay past experiences where I slept with someone and they let me control what happened or didn't happen. I like that feeling a lot. Definitely a good feeling but, I find if I let myself replay memories of that kind, I'll get intrusive ones that I don't want..so it confuses me. I don’t really tell people about this issue, even though its getting progressively worse but, I keep telling it to you in bits and pieces first, until I know you won’t think something negative of me."
I don't know what to think of this person?
__________________
---  A bird doesn't sing because it has all the answers, it sings because it has a song.Maya Angelou. so sing. Jazz, sing. --jazzy123456 ---------------------------- "You're not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, and with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. You impoverish yourself if you forget this errand." (Woodrow Wilson) 
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#2
Mar 27, 2012, 01:10 PM
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I don't know what to think of this person either. I am not finding enough information in the quoted passage to develop an opinion of the person.
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#3
Mar 27, 2012, 03:51 PM
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I am having difficulty trying to understand what they are describing. I don't have much of an opinion yet.
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#4
Mar 27, 2012, 04:16 PM
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Jazzy to clarify is this about you using sex as a method of control over another person? If so I would think it's about getting control where you once didn't have any? Not sure if I'm 'getting it' correct. If this is about control have you figured out in specifics why you have a need for control in this way?
__________________
"Be careful how you speak to your children. One day it will become their inner voice." - Peggy O'Mara Don't ever mistake MY SILENCE for ignorance, MY CALMNESS for acceptance, MY KINDNESS for weakness. - unknown |
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#5
Mar 28, 2012, 10:04 AM
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Yeah, Jazzy, I can see it as a way of gaining some control where you feel powerless. Definitely something to talk to your T about. Considering all that you have been through this sounds like a pretty normal reaction. Also, it sounds like something that you can work through. Keep us posted on your progress?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#6
Mar 28, 2012, 09:49 PM
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Okay so... i just didn't want anyone to think this would make me a really terrible person, and I emailed my T that so .. i am/still nervous,... she just kept telling me about other ways I could gain control but, those ways aren't just the same. i've never heard it that way, getting control where you once lost it? really? well, i just carry guilt for all of this but, geez you are right with what you have said for the most part... i finally caved and told my T about it because I DO NOT have OCD but, i feel my anxiety is like someone who has OCD who can't act on the impulse... which I haven't.... like I said, for 6 months.
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--- A bird doesn't sing because it has all the answers, it sings because it has a song.Maya Angelou. so sing. Jazz, sing. --jazzy123456 ---------------------------- "You're not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, and with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. You impoverish yourself if you forget this errand." (Woodrow Wilson)
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 geez
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 geez
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#7
Mar 30, 2012, 09:03 AM
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Good work! You can work through this! I would suggest talking about it in depth with your therapist so that you can understand why you do this really well. Wanting to distract yourself with a different behavior refocuses you off of focusing in depth on the problem at hand. Delve into this one in session so that you can make the subconscious conscious. Keep us updated on how you are doing?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#8
Mar 30, 2012, 09:03 AM
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Jazzy keep us posted!
__________________
"Be careful how you speak to your children. One day it will become their inner voice." - Peggy O'Mara Don't ever mistake MY SILENCE for ignorance, MY CALMNESS for acceptance, MY KINDNESS for weakness. - unknown |
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