Question

My mother always physically abused me as a child, but now I am starting to wonder if she sexually abused me as well..

The reason I am asking these questions is because I have memories of when I was like 10-16 of coming home late, and her making innapropriate comments about how I was a little slut and she would either try and grab or kick my privates or hit it in some way..

She always used to grab for my boobs too, when joking around, i dunno, i just.. I noticed a pattern in her always doing that.

What do you all think?

(added a trigger icon)

Been wondering the same thing myself. My therapist when I saw her last said some things that got me thinking about certain situations not related to sexual abuse but it triggered some thoughts that have since been ringing the caution bells kind of thing, nothing definate as in remembering any actualsexual abuse situations but the thoughts are just a hair short of it. very thought provolking.

Sexual abuse is any unwanted sexually oriented comment to touches and on to the full acts. so yea it sounds to me from what you have posted that she did sexually abuse you. I see sexually oriented comments, I see sexually oriented touches both of which is inappropiate and considered sexual abuse.

I'm sorry Rainbowzz

This is one place that I need to be but can't quite admit it yet. Way too painful! I'm sorry for your pain. I have to leave here - too scary and panickey and overwhelming.

Dear Rainbow,

From what I read in your post it sounds as though your mother had her own unresolved issues and that she was taking them out on you - the physical abuse you suffered (may God heal every one of your wounds) could have been from the anger that your mother held in her own soul from her past or from her husband / male friends.... she saw all FEMALES as sluts for they stole her man - or at least in her mind they did, where if the TRUTH were to be told it was the male that did the running around and a female just happen to be who he ran with.

Does any of that sound true to your situation? - or am I am barking up the wrong tree here?

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Rhapsody said:
Dear Rainbow,

From what I read in your post it sounds as though your mother had her own unresolved issues and that she was taking them out on you - the physical abuse you suffered (may God heal every one of your wounds) could have been from the anger that your mother held in her own soul from her past or from her husband / male friends.... she saw all FEMALES as sluts for they stole her man - or at least in her mind they did, where if the TRUTH were to be told it was the male that did the running around and a female just happen to be who he ran with.

Does any of that sound true to your situation? - or am I am barking up the wrong tree here?

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

well.
yes, in a way it does.

My dad was abusive to her as well. And my mother also had a hole in her inner ear leading to the lining of her brain or something from the time she was born until she was 28 when they found it - it caused menengitis eight times within that time frame so I think there is definetly issues.

She gets extremely frustrated easily and has tried to kill herself a couple of times as well.

She also either thinks she can do no wrong or things that nothing she does is any good.

I have pulled away from her so much because she just is not good for me. The last time I visited her she got upset and ran out on the road and tried to bash her head in with a rock. Thats Self Harm, I know it is, not to mention a suicide attempt.

We took her to the community hospital for stitches and they had the nerve to tell me (because of the relationship we had when I was a child) That if I didn't incite her she wouldn't have done it to herself. I made the suggestion that they keep her in and try to get her help and they acted like I was off my rocker, saying that maybe I should just treat her better.

Let me also tell you that this whole situation (I am 23 and have lived on my own since 16, this was on a once a year visit) stemmed over picking up some stuff in the living room that I had left there the previous night. I was eating breakfast when she started in on wanting it done NOW as she usually does.

When I was younger i used to yell and scream and lash back out at her. Now and for some time I just keep my voice nice and even and steady, and speak as calmly as possible, and try to stay even no matter how angry she gets.

It makes me very sad, aside from the anger that I feel I also feel a great deal of sadness because I KNOW that she could be helped if she would just listen to us (our whole family has made the suggestion) and at least TRY seeing someone who can help her learn to deal with all of this.

This on top of the icky feeling I have in my belly that she just didnt respect me and my body. Im not sure if there was ever a sexual note to it in the sense that she did it for perverse pleasure. But I know that there is something very wrong with what she did.

(((((((((Rainbowzz)))))))))))

I just want to tell you I'm sorry that you have had to go through all that, and that people who should have done something to help made you feel blamed for the way your mother acted.

Be Safe,
Rap

(((safe hugs)))) I'm sorry you had that happen to you. Yes, that all sounds like abuse. You are quite a strong survivor!