 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Oct 10, 2012, 07:32 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
when I think about the SA that happened...
sex doesnt cross my mind. I feel like an object. no. I dont want responses telling me "you arent someones property you are your own person" because...unfortunately ive heard it all before...and I dont care.. one someone puts you in that position its hard to pull yourself out of that mentality after a lifetime of this. Ive not had even a month free of abuse in my home ever. I still live here. sometimes I cant hear them when they talk to me but I am still able to follow directions. As if my body knew better than my mind.. as if someone has a remote control to my body.
__________________
|
 Anonymous32894, Ardmore, Lauru
|
 BrokenNBeautiful
|
|
#2
Oct 10, 2012, 06:08 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
agree. it is very very difficult to pull yourself out of that mentality. i think it makes sense to feel removed from thinking about it. i know i used to just go away in my head completely, but meanwhile my body was otherwise engaged. i think it is what had to happen in order to survive cope.
i hope you will one day soon be free of abuse. i hope you are planning and preparing the best you can for that time. please keep yourself as safe as you can, in your own ways. thanks for sharing this. |
| BrokenNBeautiful
|
|
#3
Oct 10, 2012, 07:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Hi, Shoes. I understand exactly what you are saying no matter how you feel or how you have been treated, you are a valuable, lovable, worthy human being. You deserve to be safe. Whatever abuse is going on, a domestic abuse hotline, can help you make a safe plan to get out. Bless you. 
__________________
Be like water making its way through cracks, do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, if nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. --Bruce Lee |
|
#4
Oct 11, 2012, 12:01 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It's true. When you are abused, the abuser is treating you like an object. But this doesn't mean that you are an object. It means that they don't know how to respect people. And, yes, you come to believe the same thing about yourself, that you are an object, because this was how you were treated. You can learn differently, though, but you have to be in a better environment. Are you still being SA?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#5
Oct 15, 2012, 08:45 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
mostly emotional.
sometmes i dont want to tell my T or anybody anymore...I feel like they will lock me up...throw me in a hospital for being so hurt....the more I tell my T about how I feel the more she brings up hospitals... it makes me want to go back to pretending im ok and not be honest. I cant trust.
__________________
|
|
#6
Oct 15, 2012, 09:24 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi shoez,
It is hard to feel like anything but an object if you've experienced a lot of abuse in your life. So that is completely understandable. Sucks a LOT but it is understandable. (I'm so disconnected from my body -- it feels like it's never belonged to me some days!) You say you're not sure if you should trust your T, because you don't want to be thrown into a hospital... have you thought about talking to your T about alternatives to a hospital - somewhere you can get support, but not necessarily be put into a hospital? Trust takes time but pretending to be fine (when you aren't) isn't exactly helping you. (Once again though, not judging you because I've done exactly the same thing!!)
__________________
|
|
#7
Oct 16, 2012, 08:38 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Can you discuss this with your T that the more that you share the more that she talks about hospitals and it makes you not want to share anymore?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| BrokenNBeautiful
|
|
#8
Oct 18, 2012, 09:24 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
SA hurts. It really does. Emotional abuse hurts, too. A lot. The echoes from my own perps are very strong right now and I still feel crazy and act out sometimes. But I don't bring it up anymore, either because of this "mental" stuff that ppl seem to bring up every time I am upset. Esp when I am feeling my PTSD or triggered. We are not insane. What happened to us was. We are okay. It's hard to believe though, when we are "programmed" this way. Broken
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!  |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
