How do you make the dirty feeling go away!

It has been a long time since the abuse happened but I still feel dirty about it. I think of it every day. I wish i didn't feel so dirty. Is there anyway to make that feeling go away?

(((((((((((((rainstorm)))))))))))))))

what helped me with that was to literally tear into the event as much as I could with my therapist and try to accept that i was truly a victim. it's hard, but it did help.

Also, when doing that, reminding self what I would say to, or feel about, someone I cared about in the SAME situation then apply it. It helped me to better recognize it as the abuse it was wherein I was the victim.

I wish you well there, and healing.

KD

i understand where you are coming from on this.. i too often feel so dirty still even though i am constantly reminded of how it was not my fault and that "I" am not the b*d person in this whole thing.. but its just so hard still for it to take away the dirty feeling left over inside of me.. i do wish you healing.. healing for you and I both on this subject.. i know it will take time to get there for me..

Kat

I used to feel that way all the time too until one of my counselors explained the situation in two parts. The first in the biological sense - the skin is constantly making new skin by shedding the top layer and underneath is the new untouched skin.

The skin that was on me when I was abused so many years ago was physically gone off my body that same day through nornal shedding of changing clothes, activities and bathing because a person a layer of skin every 24 hours.

what is left now it the second part of this - the emotional of knowing that I was molested and raped and in our society that act is frowned on considered illegal and sex is dirty. She said to look at what sex jokes are labled not sex jokes they are labeled "dirty jokes"

Then she asked me if I wanted to continue beliving that sex is dirty and so I am dirty because someone else forced me into having sex. If someone forced me to eat turnip would I turn that into my feeling dirty and at fault? I told her no that just a vegtable. She said but vegetables are grown in the garden they start out literally dirty same thing society tell us sex is dirty, gardeners tell us that vegetables are dirty.

I told her that was different I wash my veggies before using them and she said - and how many baths have you taken since being molested and raped. If the turnip is clean after washing then you are clean after washing. Its all in the thinking process.

She had me there Physically I was like the turnip I was clean the being dirty now years after the attacks was all in my thinking process. And my thinking process can be cleaned just like my physical body can be cleaned. That day I decided every time I felt like I was dirty I would remind myself that physically the skin that had been abused was gone and this was a matter of thinking process I could sit there and make myself misrable by doing nothing but continue to think about how dirty I was or I can do something that will change my thinking process. I bought lotions, bubble baths, bath oils, then took a bath so that physically I would feel refreshed and for the emotional I used the scented lotions that I liked the smell of.

I still have times when emotionally I feel dirty but just reminding myself of what JEH told me still helps.

I also have those "dirty" slimy feelings... Sometimes I shower three or more times a day... I will have to remember or make note of your post... if i read it enough times maybe it will sink in.......good stuff..

If you ever need to talk you can PM me.

Thank you. It makes a lot of sense. I will remember that when I get that dirty feeling. I have to remember that sex and stuff like that is a normal part of life.

I took showers everyday and it was most times two to three times a day for that dirty feeling that I did not know why or where it came from for a while. Once I got into counseling for sexual abuse is when it started to go away. It took a while after becoming aware of why the dirty feeling.
mlyn

I think the only way to make the dirty feeling go away is by healing mentally and emotionally. It has nothing to do with the physical aspect.

Sometimes healing both mentally and emotionally involves time and lots of patience, acceptance, motivation, and even some painful memories. But I believe if you really want this feeling to go away you will do what you need to.

I really hope with time it becomes less feeling for you.

Thank you

and yea it took a few reminders to myself and still does at time but one thing that comes out of it is that I don't feel emotionally or physically dirty for very long after reminding myself of this.

You're welcome Glad I could help.

Hi xrainstormx........ thanks.....Should I ever need to talk, I will let you know and should you need to talk you can pm me too.....But I'd like to add there are lots of great folks here that are very helpful...So don't hesitate to post any problems or questions you may have ....Lots of folks here are great at supporting those who are having difficulties... ... Hang in there... It does get better in time....

It is so mush work. I am exhausted.

Take breaks from the direct work and give yourself a treat!!!
You are doing great, believe it or not. Being able to talk about it helps wash it off (diffuse it) too. Can you take a walk or do something else physical to give your brain a time out to process? Too much "direct attack" gets old and keeps the dirty feeling up front. Affirmations on your mirrors are a nice sublte way to feed new thoughts into your mainstream. Something like: "I am clean, healthy, healing". Time is on your side. Keep breathing. You can do this.

I never looked at it that way.