*Triggering* hard to talk about..

this is hard for me to talk about and triggering... please make sure you are in a safe place before you read on...





i have been getting so many flashbacks and mem's coming up from the SRA.. seems like each day.. sometimes every few hours can just be a struggle to get through.. and when they hit me they hit me so hard and so fast its hard to pull myself back from it and ground myself cause its all so new to me.... all these ones that are hitting are not pieces that i have gotten or picked up from before all these are new.. so i am left feeling i guess sort of unstable or shocked by whats hitting me.... my T and i are trying to work on it... when it happens and i finally do get a little grounded again i remember how gorry it was and cant help but puke and puke..... my T just sits by me while im doing this telling me to open my eyes.. see where i am.. and see i am safe.. its so hard when its all right there at you though... its so so hard...

is there any help anyone can give me.. are there any other SRA survivors here?

Kat

Hi Kat,

I am not an SRA survivor, but I know some that are. Please be gentle with yourself ((Kat)), it sounds like you have a T that is very supportive and you need that right now...take care..and there are some things that just have to be..they are what they are..and I hope that you know you are not alone, secrets, are horrible things to have to process, but you are handling it the best way you can..by sharing it, and seeking support Evangelista

What is SRA???

Hi Kat

My T keeps that trash can close by for me too. Sometimes it just feels like everything is being ripped out of me. Hurts so much.

I was brought up in a child pronring and child sex group until the age of 13. Don't have to many memories right now. One of the good thing about DID. But the memories I do have a lot of times I can't handle. I know by the age of 5, I was being traded out. SRA is still a big question right now. Some memories that are starting to come up are pointing in that direction.

Been brainwashed for so long it's hard to tell what's true and what isn't. But been told many times by a main abuser that he put demons in me to control me.

This is getting into a lot, so if you want to PM feel free to do so.

Lisa

Lexicon, this is just a general definition I found

Sadistic Ritual Abuse: Psychological, sexual, and/or physical assault committed by one or more people according to a prescribed ritual, whose primary motive is to either fulfill a need to abuse others, or to program the victim so that they can be precisely controlled in the future.

Satanic Ritual Abuse: Psychological, sexual, and/or physical assault forced on an unwilling victim and committed by one or more Satanists according to a prescribed ritual, the primary aim of which is to fulfill the need to worship the Christian devil, Satan.

* * * * * * * *

I am so SORRY! - YOU are in my PRAYERS.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

ty for responding.. my T is very suppotive and i am so appreciative of that... i just wish there was an easier way of getting through this or a way of calming down the flashbacks and mem's of it from hitting me so hard and so much.. my head just hurts so bad.. its hard to feel im not alone when i know no one else to talk to about this who has been through this crap.. i hate this so much i want all of it to just go away everything to just go away!!!!!1

kat

s*t*nic r*tu*l abuse.. sorry.. i cant even type the word out myself.. i will trigger my own self off.. i hope you can read it.. again im sorry..

kat

ty for the hugs and for keeping me in your pr*yers..

kat

((((Kat))))

Be gentle with yourself as you continue this journey...you are in my thought and prayers..

Evangelista

i dont knwo if i am an sra survior i have new memories come up but i dont know if it has to do wiht that or not. i dont know much about cults. but sometimes when i hear people talk about them i seem to know more then i think.

safe hugs to you if ok confused.. im so sorry if it has happened.. i wish for me and my system it hadnt.. hope to one day find a safe place to be able to talk about when/if need to..

Kat