hello,i'm a master of disguise....

I only joined a few days ago. I was feeling lonely and down. I needed someone to talk to as i don't sleep very well. Nightscan be lonely times.
I was abused from 8 years old and it's never left me.atahe person who abused me wassomeone my mother was having an affair with. She didn't believe mewhen i told her. He was a psychologist. It's never left me really.I push it down, sometimes it rears its ugly head. I've never been able to talk about it properly. This bout of depression is the worst. I'm being treated, but even my close family don't know how I'm feeling. This site is wonderful, I'm usually quite jovial, but then I put on a very good facade.
I feel I may lose it altogether soon though.....would love to hear from anyone similar to me. I am 42, but sometimes still feel like a trapped little girl?

Jin, I'm sure that you know I am here anytime you need me. I am a good listener. I'm here to help you in any way that I can. Keep in touch. Sincerely, Cajun

I understand how you feel for I too feel the same way.... even after the abuse has stopped, 28 years ago.

I personally feel as though I will NEVER be with out some of the damage that was left behind (deep inside of me). I take each day as it comes and when I have a bad day I just let it be and take care of myself (as needed) - I do not let other people dictate how I should act or how I should feel, for they are not ME and we are all different in how we heal and cope.

Please keep talking to us here at PC (releasing the sickness that another left behind in you) and in time my desire for YOU is to heal to the point that you too can function again within life & love.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

Hi jinnyann

I think I know how you feel. Also about feeling like a little girl inside, that might sound strange as I am young as it is, but sometimes I can be so childish and so scared. Keeping up a good facade isn't easy, but it can be nice to come here and lose some of it.. makes it easier to cope with the real world.

(((((( jinnyann ))))))

I'm so sorry that you have to go through all this... I know what you mean about being a master of disguise, I have had a lot of practice. But be careful that you don't lose who you are in the process and confuse yourself with just another disguise... It's one thing to lie to people about how you are feeling, but sooner or later we are vulnerable to believe that same lie....

Are you currently in therapy?? Or is seeing a therapist too triggering for you?

Hello Jinnyann. You are more than welcome to PM me anythime if you want to have a serious discussion. I understand how you feel, and you are more than welcome to share anything you would like ot in PM. I also want to give you a hotline number to call as well that may be able to help when you are alone at night with your confusion and pain. 1-800-273-TALK (for mental health issues). you may call this hotline 24/7 if you are lonely and need someone to talk to in person. Take care soidhonia

HELLO CAJUN

You are a very special person to me already. When I see you're on line I feelsecure in the knowledge that you are there. I hope I can help you out sometimes too. Idon't feel I,m very wise really, but if you're ever down, I hope I can make you smile. ((((((Cajun)))))))xxx

Some of our abusers get little or no time..... But we the abused have a lifetime sentence...pm me anytime you need too.....Altheia

jinnyann... I'm here for you! I know what it means to wear a mask of iron or maybe the mask of a clown.

(((((((((( jinnyann ))))))))))))

THANKYOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS LILITH

YOU MAY ALSO PM ME I'M HERE FOR YOU. IT'S SO GOOD TO BE ON HERE WITH PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND.

JINNYANN XX

I feel like I undestand some of what you said. I am 44 was abused from 5-12 and when I told my mother I think she believe me but could not handle the pressure. I know I make it through most days ok, but other days I feel it hanging over me. I am new to the chat rooms so don't know all the lingo but would want to offer you support. My heart goes out to you.

HELLO AND THANKS FOR READNIG AND REPLYING TO MY POST. I MAY JUST HAVE STARTED THE HEALING PROCESS, NOT SURE. WE'LL HAVE TO CHATAT SOME POINT, MY HEART IS WITH YOU TOO, AND A HAND TO HOLD WHEN YOU NEED IT. TAKE CARE TIL WE MEET SOON IN HERE, JINNYANN XXXX

Jin so know what you mean. mask is true to those on outside. except our T seems to know???
you have a T? Is ok if you dont cuz some times we do and some times we don't. Most ppl don't understand that but that is only way can do it. And T seems to be ok with it no matter how long our break is.
Oops prbly said to much.
Nice to meet you.

yep abused from 2 srry it suks

never mind her is just here say no proof so cant say that legally. srry for the out burst.
Is why I don't think we should come here.

you don't think we should come here? sorry i disagree

i have been helped by the mostwonderful people, sorry you don't feel that way

jin x