[mtd]

I think it's too much, all this stuff I have going on. I put so much energy and time into trying to help others, raise my kids pretty much on my own, work full time and then some, teach other people's kids, blah blah blah. It's like I'm still trying to be perfect to hide the pain and trying to run away from it at the same time. With all I do to stay busy and all I've done to try to heal, I still spend most of my day fixated on THEM -- the ones who attacked me. I see them everywhere and in so many other faces. I worry about whether they are still coaxing kids into their basement to do what they did to me. I wish they would get old and die already. I really just want to let this all go, but it just won't. I want to shake this off. It's been almost 30 years.

mtd

[biiv]

(((((((((((((((((((((((mtd))))))))))))))))))))))))
sounds like you need to try to find a little time for yourself if possible. can you do something to pamper yourself a bit? maybe get a massage, get out for a walk by yourself somewhere relaxing, go to the gym or something?
you deserve to look after yourself as well you know!
those people will get what they deserve in time. perhaps they have already.
try to be gentle with yourself mtd.
biiv

[pegasus]

I know it's hard.

safe hugs ((((((((((( mtd )))))))))))))

[Soidhonia]

Hello MTD.
I am sorry you are feeling this way at this time. Definitely the overwork and stress you are putting yourself under trying to be perfect is not helping how you are feeling. I hope you think to make time for yourself even if you have to make yourself do something nice for yourself, even if it is simple as planning a walk or going to get a cup of coffee at MCDonalds. I hope you feel better soon. Even perfection needs a rest every once in a while. Take care and good day. Soidhonia

[Fuzzybear]

[Evangelista]