When is a partner emotionally abusive and what can be done?

I was recently in an on/off relationship while in school with another girl. We were on/off for two years but during our off times, she would make me feel so horrible that I would want to kill myself. During our last two turns of the dating wheel, I was getting councilling for my eating disorder and was hoping for some sort of support from her. When my counciller had convinced me to eat lunch for the first time in three months, I got sick immediately after and she told all of my friends that I was faking just it get away from her even though she went in teh bathroom and saw me being sick for herself. When we would get back together though, I would be so happy that I would do anything to keep her with me. It just pushed my ED into overdrive. Was this an emotionally abusive relationship and was exactly is emotional abuse? What can be done about it?

She makes you feel horrible. This is not a good sign, this is not healthy. Can you talk with your therapist about this?

Some info on types of abuse here: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/types-of-abuse/

Hi Alaizabel
It sure doesn't sound like it was a positive experience for you at all. It would really shake my trust issues. I definitely would talk to a therapist about it too. Please take good care.

I know, but I just can't afford to go with aving to pay for college and everything else right now. I sorta fall in the cracks in society, i think. Make too much to go a year becasue my mom is a real estate agent and make too little to afford councilling. It isn't easy with six people in your family all wanting to do different things at the same time. It tends to get alittle expensive and I feel so horrible when my mother has to do things for me even though I know that I can't do them on my own. Severe anxiety issues.

She certainly doesn't sound incredibly supportive of you, to say the least

Hoping for better things for you, you deserve them!

She is not a friend or anything else if she is doing this to you. She has the problems not you. She is striking out at you to hide or deal with her own demons.

I understand it's difficult, but try to find other things to do where you will meet others.

You can't change her, she'll have to make the decision herself and that may never happen.

wish you the best

i dont think she is giving you the support you need. it sounds like she is jealous of the fact that you need attention and tries to sabotage any way that you could get the attention you need to recover. its not a good idea to stay her friend as i dont think she will change. i was friends with someone like that. you deserve better treatment and a friend who supports you through this.

It doesn't sound like she's "partner" material for you so I wouldn't try to remain with her or get back together/be friends with her. Move on and work on your physical and mental health. No one else can make you feel horrible without your consent; if she's not good for you, she's not good for you, move away from her! You have issues of your own you need to work on, I would make them your priority.

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Perna said:
No one else can make you feel horrible without your consent.

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Enuff said Perna. This is so true.

Someone who makes you feel like that is not worth your time. But make sure you explore the possibility that you are letting her make you feel that way. It's happened to me so it's not totally out of the question.

Just don't "let" it harm YOU. YOU are the most important.

I know that I shouldn't but I just kept clinging to her. I wanted so badly for it to work, more than even staying healthy. I couldn't be a boy for her so her family would always give her a hard time about me but I figured I could be pretty and thin for her, so she could at least have a girlfriend that she wanted. I guess I just wante dto be her trophy girlfriend even if it hurt me, because I knew that either way, she would still be looking at me. She would still be proud to be with me.