[Luz22]

Well I am a 24 year old female..

Possible trigger:

I was abused several times in my childhood (from 6 years old to 14)and

now its really hard for me to open up to people or more specifically to find a partner with whom I feel confortable with. After the period I was abused, I never engaged in any sexual activity and still haven't since.. but now after I started going to therapy I have this strong sexual need again and I hate it because there is this part of me that doesn't want to do the talking and getting to know someone but this other part of me won't allow me to have something casual with a stranger.. I was thinking toys and make my sexuality around that, now at 24 I know the traditional life with husband and kids its not for me... I don't know.. is this normal? is it healthy for me to decide just to go with toys?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Luz22: I'm sorry I cannot comment with regard to your concerns. However I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I trust you will find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Here are links to a couple of articles, from PsychCentral's archives, which may help you to begin to understand what you are experiencing:

https://psychcentral.com/news/2013/0...ems/55556.html

https://psychcentral.com/lib/survivi...-sexual-abuse/

I'll also offer you links to a couple of YouTube videos that may be of some interest. The first, by Peggy Oliveira, MSW, is on Coping Mechanisms and sexual abuse.

The second, by family therapist Kati Morton, is on how one recovers from sexual abuse & how long it can take:

My best wishes to you.

[Palbamick]

Hello Luz,

The needs for sexual desire is usually normal at your age. About the feeling of wanting but fighting back not to engage with men. I think that you are not yet ready to get preggy and afraid to have an early engagement for being locked in marriage life.
Looking for some alternative ways drive your sexual desire like buying sex toys for women i think it is okay, I'm not saying that it is really good but for a the mean time you are not yet ready on engagement this is a good way to suppress your orgasm.

I also encourage you to join discussion like chat and learn more about men, ask them an interview, interrogate or what ever makes you feel right to ask. That way you will feel comfortable with us and maybe in some future, you will find the true color of sexual intercourse with the real thing.

[carrie_ann]

hi Luz22, i think your feelings are perfectly normal and there's nothing wrong in deciding just to go with toys. you may find in time you are ready to move on or you may find just toys alone suits you. i'd say it's natural to have sexual feelings begin to surface after some therapy, but it's also natural to find it hard to open up, maybe to be afraid of getting physically or emotionally hurt, and if the traditional life of hubby and kids isn't for you then it's no big deal so long as you're happy with whatever lifestyle you do choose. just my opinion.

oh and to pc

[starryprince]

Originally Posted by Luz22

Well I am a 24 year old female..

Possible trigger:

I was abused several times in my childhood (from 6 years old to 14)and

now its really hard for me to open up to people or more specifically to find a partner with whom I feel confortable with. After the period I was abused, I never engaged in any sexual activity and still haven't since.. but now after I started going to therapy I have this strong sexual need again and I hate it because there is this part of me that doesn't want to do the talking and getting to know someone but this other part of me won't allow me to have something casual with a stranger.. I was thinking toys and make my sexuality around that, now at 24 I know the traditional life with husband and kids its not for me... I don't know.. is this normal? is it healthy for me to decide just to go with toys?

Hey there! So I read your post and I agree with you on some things! I've been healing on my own and in therapy from my sexual abuse and ever since I have started to feel a bit more comfortable in my body, I've felt more ready to seek romantic relationships. I still have a confusing time about sexuality as I'm on the asexual spectrum, but I've acknowledged that I can be sexual with a partner who I have a strong emotional connection with. It can't just be with anyone. I agree that toys are a very healthy way to explore your sexuality. I've gotten toys to help me explore mine and they've actually helped me work out my shame around sexuality. I still have some shame but definitely not as much as before, and toys give you control and agency. I wish you the best!