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  #1  
Old Dec 13, 2007, 01:15 PM
Jane999's Avatar
Jane999 Jane999 is offline
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Location: Bay Area
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This is my method.

Get a mirror, a good size one. Not a compact or vanity mirror or a hand held. A make up table mirror, a full length dressing mirror would be best. If you have a good sized vanity mirror, greater in dimension than 12 inches by 12 inches. anything bigger than that should do nicely.

Now, take your mirror over to your favorite chair, or drag said chair over to your mirror.

Look at yourself in the eyes. Best not to have *any* distractions whatsoever, consider this self therapy time, and make it sacrosanct. Turn off the cell. Make sure you have an hour or so.

Take some time to get comfortable gazing at your own eyes.

When you are ready, start down memory lane. You can go after certain triggers, or deal with the first triggers that come up. If you are having trouble digging stuff up at first, just go through the photo album of your life. Do not take your eyes of yourself. Watch your own eye movements, facial expressions be aware of tension inside yourself, listen for changes in mood, anxiety, etc.

Hold the picture of your abuser in you mind, and let your memories replay across your inner eye.

We are not going to desensitize ourselves to this, we are going to get these trigger out of our mind and body, permanently. We are not going to get into a better headspace about them, we are going to banish them forever. We are undoing the damage done, not learning to live with it better.

Like Androcles and the Lion, we are going to take the thorns out of our paws ourselves.

Now that you have stuff coming up, keep staring at yourself, don't let your eyes wander, you do not want to gap your attention and evade the stuff coming up, you want to move right into the maelstrom.

What do you do with that stuff? You dissolve it.

Let's say you have a tension in your shoulder or hand, You can use targeted relaxation to manually release your muscles and tissues. You can relax and relax more, and relax more, and breath and relax more, and finally, you surrender all tension and your hand relaxes, your shoulders finally drop down. etc.

You can dissolve mental tension the same way. You put all your awareness inside the center of that memory or trigger. You are not trying to distance yourself or detach from it, you become one with it, Keep looking in the mirror! Don't stop or look away, catch yourself in the act of reliving your stuff and stay focused.

Bring your awareness into the center of that memory. That may seem abstract, but your mind is not something sitting on shelf ten feet away, your heart is not in another room, all your mental and emotional stuff comes from the core of your being, and that is exactly where you bring your awareness.

Relax, release and dissolve the tension, the attachment, the fixation to your stuff.

Surrender it out of yourself. Don't stop looking in the mirror!

It may not work the first time, Lots of therapies don't work 100% of the time when you first begin.

Stick with it.

You know it is working when you are no longer triggered by memory X,Y, Z,

If you succeed, you will no longer ever ever ever be effected by that trigger again....ever. Gone, as though it was never there.

Now move on the next trigger.

If one trigger does not budge, move on to another trigger, and come back to that one another time.

I am fully recovered from 20 years of violence in my life.

Starting as young child, I was physically, emotionally, mentally abused by both parents. Thanks to the low self esteem, I was marked for bullying and physical, verbal assault at school, In time both home life and school life was just one ongoing inescapable terror of ongoing assault.

When I was involuntarily hospitalized, and then forced into the juvenile mental health system as a teen, I was further abused and assaulted by staff, patients and residents.

I was assaulted by my first foster family.

My whole life was one giant ongoing trigger and I was becoming violent myself.

I never felt safe anywhere unless I was alone in a dark room with my back to a wall, chains and locks on the doors and a knife under my pillow. I was 18 and on my own before I could set up my safe spot for myself. Prior to that, there was no escaping the inevitability of assault by other mentally ill people in my life.

I self injured in so many ways for so long.

Then I learned how to meditate properly from a genuine meditation master. In that process I learned the trigger dissolving method to permanently remove any kind of trigger, no matter how old, or how deep it was.

5 years later I was fine. It's all memories that seem to have happened to someone else now.

I can finally eat right and gain weight. I can sleep without nightmares. I can walk down the street without looking over my shoulder, and I don't have a knife under my pillow. I can easily and effortlessly talk about any of the abuse that happened, and it does not bother me in any way to talk about. I no longer self injure and I am no longer attracted to other abusers or mentally ill people for my lovers and companions. In short, I healed myself permanently of 20 years of PTSD so significant, that if you touched me while I was sleeping, I would start screaming before I was fully awake.

That is one way to do it that does not rely on a therapist or a drug..

It is self therapy and you can take it as slow or as fast as you can handle. That's how you deal with the stuff that comes up in therapy that seems to make you worse when you leave the office, than when you went in.
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  #2  
Old Dec 13, 2007, 06:24 PM
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pachyderm pachyderm is offline
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How to get rid of triggers, permanently Gulp. How to get rid of triggers, permanently
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  #3  
Old Dec 14, 2007, 02:12 PM
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Cyran0 Cyran0 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,464
Jane999, thanks for sharing your story.

As for your technique, wow, I'm not sure I could handle that. I hate seeing myself in pictures and don't spend much time in front of mirrors (though strangely I have no problem acting in films...but anyway). Just staring at myself like that would send me into a spiral.

Still, it's interesting and perhaps it's something I can try with someone present for support. I mean, hell, I'll try anything once.

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Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse.

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  #4  
Old Dec 15, 2007, 02:13 PM
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That is so awesome, Jane... Thanks for sharing.
  #5  
Old Dec 15, 2007, 04:04 PM
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Kiya Kiya is offline
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I second Pachy's *gulp!*.

I tried a technique very similiar to that in therapy when I first started. Saying it was rough is a pretty big understatement. But maybe I just wasn't ready then. It was the first time i was facing my past. 5 years later, it is worth considering. Perhaps I'll start in another year. But that is one piece of advice that I think will stick with me. In fact, I'm gonna save it in my file.
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