Who abused you

By Marianne Williamson “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I was abused by my older brother, 6 or 7 is when it began-ended when I was too heavy for him to lift me out of bed, I think.

i am seeing a dr for pain - she keeps asking me if i have had physical trauma. i don't know of any... but my body shows signs. this is very disconcerting.

When I was detained in a juvenile corrections center, age 15, a male correctional officer touched me inappropriately. Later, I was sent off to a girl school in another state and had an affair with a 36 year old employee, I was 15. When I look back I consider that abuse because of my emotional vulnerability.

sexually:
gang raped by cousin and 3 other males, my approx age between 4/7

continualy molested by cousin's friends til age 12
raped by friend of dad's son 10
grandfather fondled 14

emotionally/mentally
first 15 yrs of my life... by top abusers and lifestyle I was rasied in by parents

Emotionally....my sister and my dad

Sexually..date rape from a co-worker.

Jbug

Neighbor adult male.. Think it happened before I was in first grade...and some more between first grade and fifth grade

Every thing happened before I was in the fifth grade. Some older boys in their late teens too. Guessing they were late teens. All I can remember is they were much bigger and older than me..I don't remember who they were. I just know they were friends of my brothers..

I don't like the words "sexual abuse". So it is hard for me to put sexual abuse after the above incidents. But unfortunately, it was sexual abuse. :*(

Actually fifth grade is when my memories are pretty good. Before that, they are a tad hazy...

Cousin at the age of 5 or 6
Cousin at the age of 5 or 6
Family friend at the age of 14
Youth minister at the age of 16

TJ

Not real clear yet only bits and pieces, feelings, smells. I was very young so young no words. My dad's cruecut face appears. My brother and cousin appear. They are 10 years older than me. I have a vission of being carried into the woods and not understanding why and then I cry. My sister made me breastfeed her kid when I was 11 because she was to drunk. She then proceeded to tell all her friends this. I am knew to this there were many some i set myself up for because I thought that was all I was good for. I was abused emotionally and mentally by my mom, dad and sister and brothers. Sexually by my dad, brother, cousin, my brothers friends and I think I heard my mom?

I find it so hard to trust anymore. My T is great and she has helped a lot but this is so hard. Then I was married for 20 years and not recognizing abuse he abused me in all ways and I found out after he left he also abused by daughters. I feel so angry and at the same time so guilty that I didn't protect them.

Too many to count. Word gets around to all the neighborhood perverts. I must have worn a sign on my back that said "cute ***, abuse me."

The main abuser my older cousin dropped dead of a heart attack 2 years ago, Oh, happy day. I hope he is tormented like he tormented me. FREAKS, ALL OF THEM!!!

sexually- family friend 11 years old

Emotionally mother and father all my life

sexually mothers lover from 8 - 15/16

verbally/bullied/victimized workplace for 7 years recently

bullied cyberly recently

physically very early marriage but no more

Sexually - gang raped
- male & female cousins (more exploration than anything but still was an issue for many years)
- best friends' father & brother, inappropriate touching/sexual talk

Physically/Emotionally - first husband

This is the first time I have mentioned 2 situations that I just listed. I have to admit, my stomach is turning a bit and I'm feeling anxious. While I have processed and healed from them, it's a bit scary to actually tell anyone here about them.

I realize though, that I am here for the same reason everyone else is here. There is no continued healing if there is no sharing. There is no understanding, if there is no sharing. I want you all to know that there is healing, there is peace and there is growing to be had from the past abuses we have all suffered.

Much love and respect to all of my fellow survivors!


sabby

sexually - date raped by friend at 16
physically - father - young as I can remember to 21
emotionally - mother / father - young as I can remember to present

Now I don't need anyone else to hurt me....I do it to myself .

insecurity

ages 4 - 10 = brother - physical and mental
(length) -- for 3 months = step-brother - mental and tiny bit pshysical
ages 11-14 = school children - mental and minor physical (slapping, stealing, name calling, general bulying, 1 death threat)

My brother-in-law (7-13) [sexual]
Same brother-in-law (10-18) [physical, emotional]
My father (12-present) [physical]
My mother (14-present) [emotional, physical]
My uncle (17) [emotional]
Ex-boyfriend (16-18) [sexual]

Wow, okay, that dredged up some memories I'd rather not think about...

whew! I just saw this one.

my mom all my life til she died. physical turned emotional when I turned adult
2 ex husbands physical
1 late husband emotional.

that is all I care to mention right now.

ok i been scared to say til now but ....

my father....from 2 till 11 yrs old sexually, physically, mentally, emotionally, ritually etc

2 husbands...from teens to 3 yrs ago sexually, physically, mentally, emotionally etc

((((((((((((((((((((Roz))))))))))))))))))))))

i love you hon....... here for you always Kerry xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Physically & emotionally - 4-6 by Mom
Physically & emotionally (bullied) - 6-18 Other kids
Sexually - 6-10 by teacher's aide and camp counselor
Raped by camp counselor at 8
Still emotionally abused by many people.

I am terrified and shaking, and can hardly see for the tears running down my face. I have never came even close to letting anyone know about me but ok, I am trying to breath through this--

Sexual--cult from birth to the last hit last year
--(mom,dad,Fred,other men and women,and more that I cannot list here)
--Ex-husband--many years
--Pastor,Deacon
--Raped at 9 by 3 high school guys (15, 17, 18)
--Raped at 9 & 12 by Step-father

Emotional--All of the above and children, sister
--Step-father, Step-mother,
--Ex-husband
--Father--all my life
--mother--all my life
--Pastor--for many years

Physically--All sexual cult people, Step-father, Step-mother,
Ex-husband, Pastor, Deacon, Son, Mom, Dad, Ourselves

This is all I can list as I cannot list any more. I am taken back by all this, it is scaring me and I want to hit the delete button but as someone said--we are all here to heal and we cannot heal if we do not tell. But I need to send now before someone deletes.

((((((((((((((((((darkpurplesecrets))))))))))))))))))

been there too, my heart is there for you ok? sorry you suffered this too, truly. xxxx

Grandfather/Uncle/Grandmother/Mother/ coven members- satanic ritual abuse, sexual abuse and emotional abuse

first pastor, first dentist - physical and or sexual abuse

4th grade teacher satanic abuse and physical and emotional abuse

Mother, brothers and cousins - physical and sexual and emotional

Teenage boy - rape, gang rape with oldest brother's friends.

rape at age 19, satanist

covert incest from my other grandfather, one doctor and one client I stayed with for disability. sexual and emotional abuse

It started so early that some of it I really remember just tiny flashes. More of it shows up in strange reactions and fears I have that just suddenly show up. But, I survived!

BUT, PUT ALL MY ABUSERS, LINED UP OPPOSITE JESUS AND FIND THAT JESUS CHRIST HAS HAD MORE EFFECTS AND BETTER EFFECTS ON ME THAN ALL MY ABUSERS!

Leslie

(((darkpurplesecrets)))

I'm sorry it is so hard. It has gotten better for me to write this stuff. It finally has become more of my history than something that still feels like I'm living it over and over.

I hope you heal fast. Sadly there's lots of cult abuse going around. It is horrible. But we survived!!!!!!!!!!!!! I care!