[RozG]

when you were a child? How do you not blame yourself anyways?

A child is never to blame for sexual abuse, no matterwhat your pepatrator tells you ..... he was an adult, should have known better NEVER to take advantage of a child ... a child has no power over an adult when it comes to this behaviour .... YOU WERE NEVER TO BLAME IT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT. Please start by believing me ok? You know from your adult place that the child was not to blame. You need a good therapist (rape crisis where I go)it's donation only and there should be one close to where you live ........ you need to know that all the hurt you are carrying is causing anger, rage, all those feelings have to come out ..... talking, journaling, opeing up will help you sweetie, please get yourself proffessional help too .... you can talk to me anytime about this ...... know i care and i love you, i understand and so do many others here ..... (((((((((((Roz))))))

you are entitled to be angry, frustrated and hurt , i am so pleased you are getting these feelings out, just always put a trigger icon, here to support you ok? love,Jin xoxoxoxoxo

[Mouse_]

I've had to go back and explore my emotions from "that" time. I've done this with a therapist.

[RozG]

((((((((Kerry))))))) Thank You for understanding always....

[RozG]

((((((((Mouse)))))))))

please do not take this a s a personal offense, it's not intended as so but...how does a %#@&#! 3 year old explore her emotions man?

[MINIME]

Good question. I have no idea. I just go to therapy. I also do emdr. I have alot of issues. Alot of it directed at myself. ((hug)) Somehow we have to find a way because then we can help others find their way. I think its just one moment at a time. I also think it has to do with being nice to yourself though I cant do that very well yet.

[SerenitysWave]

Poetry works well for me in exploring my thoughts and emotions.... Talking for me doesnt help much b/c I shut myself off from myself..... I never blamed myself though... just always felt that it was suppose to be and it was and here I am... sorry not much help... I can just relate

[RozG]

Thank You Minime it was brave of you to answer and try to help. T/c

[RozG]

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SerenitysWave said:
... just always felt that it was suppose to be and it was and here I am... :

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Thanks that's a great help..not!!!!

[SerenitysWave]

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RozG said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
SerenitysWave said:
... just always felt that it was suppose to be and it was and here I am... :

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Thanks that's a great help..not!!!!

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<font color="purple">I was just saying how I felt afterwards and growing up... wasnt intended to make you mad...or feel bad... everyone deals differently... and now that I am older and undertsand things more... I deal with it much differently... I choose to not be defined by what happened me...and I cannot explian well how else it is I cope, I just do... sorry </font>

[River2008]

Hi RozG,

I think to do any serious work with your "3 year old" self/experience needs professional assistance. You could go to a rape crisis center, but I don't know the level of their training and for a while, you'd need a lot of emotional support.

Since you're asking about how to deal with those emotions I'm thinking they're coming up for you now. At any rate, I would get a therapist I trusted and begin addressing whatever's coming up from the 3 year old you at the age you're at now...it'll come together, but hang onto your hat for a while if you begin that journey.

River

[CedarS]

[UmightKnowMe]

What helped me begin to accept that it couldn't have been my fault I had to go out and watch some kids the same age as I was then. Also dig out a photo of myself at that age. Watch them play...at a playground or someplace. Connect with their innocence. My T asks me all the time "WHAT could a child that age do to DESERVE that?" Nothing of course. Why do I give myself different rules and expectations? Dunno. I am starting to 'get it'. But I am also avoiding really accepting that...because then I have to deal with the unfairness of it all. If *I* am at fault then it makes sense. If I'm not..then its just wrong and I cant deal with that kind of pain. Or at least I dont think I can. My T says I dealt with it once...and I am older now and have more tools at my disposal. I'm not so sure. But am willing to try to learn.

[Angel_of_the_Past]

Some how rape, no matter what context you view it in is one of the most heinous things to happen to you. Rape by a stranger is awful but rape by a family member cannot compare. Repeated violations destroys every ounce of our being. How could we not blame ourselves? Child or adult, intament partner abuse or marital rape & domestic violence. What can I say, the violation causes damage beyond anything else.

[RozG]

((((((River))))))

there is not a great deal of understanding for child rape cases here i have found...they basically don't know what to do with you in my own personal experince...but i will hang onto my hat and be brave enough to take that journey inorder to heal.

ty for caring

[RozG]

((((((((UmightKnowMe))))))))

i have looked at my own kids and the thought of them being hurt in any way horrifies me...my prob also is accepting it wasn't my fault...

peace and love to you,
roz
xx

[RozG]

((((((((Angel)))))))

i used to work with rape victims both child and adult...and i well know the psychology of it...just can't apply it to myself.

thank you for caring

[Angel_of_the_Past]

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RozG said:

((((((((Angel)))))))

i used to work with rape victims both child and adult...and i well know the psychology of it...just can't apply it to myself.

thank you for caring

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Amen, Angel

[RozG]

((((((((((((Angel))))))))))