I relapsed

I relapsed the other day on cocaine . its worse because it was with a neibour who bought the drugs . I'm worried its going to happen again . I need support and freinds to help me through it

Sent from my GT-S6810P using Tapatalk

Please avoid your neighbor at all costs . . .

Crying yes avoid your neighbor at all costs. Call the NA hotline and have someone come over and talk with you and bring you to a meeting. Just do it like the Nike commercial says,,, (((hugs))) You are important and you have to take care of you first and foremost...
okay? We love you here and want the best for you.... tc

I'm going to try very hard . thank you

Sent from my GT-S6810P using Tapatalk

I don't know if I can manage a meeting . I feel I will be judged for how I look dress etc I might ring them though

Sent from my GT-S6810P using Tapatalk

Thinking of you xo

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Hi Crying,

I know it takes a lot of courage to get to a meeting and sometimes fear takes over. You most certainly have everything to gain in taking in a meeting. Once you're in the door you'll probably be pleasantly surprised.

An oldtimer once told me that I had to change everything in order for the program to work.

You wont be judged at a meeting thats whats so great about them weve all been there

I relapsed too. It's humiliating. People at the meetings DO judge. I'm tired of people telling me it's something in AA I didn't do right. Somehow I failed the program. Hey AA, maybe You failed me! AA lowers my self-esteem. They are obsessed with sober 'time.' But AA has lots of good things about it too. It does not have a high success rate , but I have managed to put together time by going to the meetings every day. It just gets boring but they know a lot about staying sober. I'll probably go back but I'm not doing 90 in 90...surveys shows that leads to binge using. AA is famous for people bingeing when they go out.

r u ok ?

I've been in that same situation with a neighbour before. If you're able to you could talk to your neighbour (even via text) and ask that they help you by not bringing up cocaine in anyway and to FOR SURE not provide you with it. Any barriers that you can put up for yourself can be helpful. I find that if I specifically ask someone not to give me something that I would be less likely to ask for it cause just the idea of having to ask someone for something that I've explicitly told them not to give me makes me anxious, therefore less likely to ask for it. I dunno, that's just me though.

I heard something good at a meeting that really helped. If you relapsed that means you are just that much closer to a real recovery. Go to a meeting with that thought in mind and know that you are back on track.

I've been going to meetings for a long time, I think getting sober or clean is usually one of the hardest things a person can do in life. If you could simply quit with no fear of relapse, its likely that you don't have much of a problem.

When members of a 12 step program who want to stop using relapse, to me it means they belong. They remind me of why I fill my chair.

Glad you went back .

I love my meetings and yes after a relapse it is hard to go back and confront people I think it is very healthy. 6 months sober and 2-3 meetings a week.

Listen very carefully my friend, I was addict to cocaine for 3 years, it's not a physical addiction it's psychologiquely. I know that cocaine makes you feel like superman but it's an illusion and it cost a lot of money... you can use the 12 steps to stop thinking it's a good idea to use cocaine. As long as you will think it's a good idea to use cocaine you won't be able to stop. How cocaine makes you feel is wow! I know... but this is all an illusion... it cost a lot. my boyfriend as used cocaine so bad that he became epileptique. He was doing several 7 of grams as cocaine and he became handicap for life. Don't wait until that is your case. you will need a therapy to stop with the 12 steps. Cocaine seems wonderful but it's evil. you worth a lot without that ****. you use because of a raison. you have a big empty hole inside your stomac that makes you feel urge to use cocaine. Cocaine is just a symptom of your inhability to deal with life in an appropriate way. the maine probleme is this empty hole you have inside. don't think you have a drug promblem it's not! you probably come from a dysfonctional family where you basic needs where not fullfilled. that creates a big hole in your heart and it's very difficult to live with that hole. You have to start a partnership with a higher power. you will feel that hole with the love of that power. I know it soud weird to read but you are an extraordinary person you don't need cocaine. I was able to stop even if I ****ing use to like it a lot.... Life now, it's so quite and calm. No need to use that ****. do cocaine anonymous it will help you. Talk about you problem to ok ears... don't stay alone with your fears.... I'm here if you need me... always

Hi cryingontheinside. I love your name. If you are facing your sadness, I think that is good. Your neighbour bringing over drugs could also be okay. You can still stay 'no thanks.' You relapsing is also okay. I like darkness and light being part of me, I get power and meaning from the hard times I've had. You are reaching out, good for you. I played with my life, that was pretty hard core. One day, I just stopped. My reason was when I looked at what I was doing it was just stupid. I had had a long time of doing more stupid things but not ones that are to such a degree that I can still hear the birds sing and read in the garden sometimes. There are moments of joy, and there is just you, lovely just as you are.

Sorry crying.
I've never been to a meeting .
I try to stay at home wtv and stuff.
Avoiding the neighborhood.
Hope you get through it.

First off about AA lowering your self esteem...you need to look at the glass half full, not half empty. You are trying to become clean and sober. You should be proud of that! I think it's your own perception of self that affects your self esteem. Don't compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to what you were and what you are aspiring to. For any of us that's a miracle.
You may want to try some different meetings. Find ones you're comfortable at sand where you hear a good message. Try not to lump everyone in the same basket. The only thing we need to do perfectly is step 1. The main thing we have in common is addiction. As for sober "time" we ALL only have today. Yes we become wiser perhaps but whomever got up the earliest that day is the "winner" in time for today. Don't know where you found that survey about 90 in 90. I know it helped many people make the commitment to stay clean and sober. Best wishes for you!