What's the worst part about being single? How do you cope being alone.

Sleeping alone, not having someone who you can talk to, the feeling of knowing you are loved, friendship

I've been single for about 7 years...I have a strong fear based, but sensible, reason for not letting anyone closer. My children. I am convinced that the risk of letting someone in to fill that father role is too much. I can't handle the thought of them being hurt by losing a father again.
At first my anger and bitterness toward the father of my children was motivating enough for me, every single damn thing in life was a reminder of what he did, and the thought of being intimate with another man was torturous. I roled up my sleeves and put on an independant brave face to deal with all that was left.
Therefore, by burying my feelings in work, and taking care of day to day things, I rarely had time to contemplate the memories and the lonely times.
But we all know, there is the times when there is nothing, and no one, and no hiding.
At those times I eventually learned to just give into those feelings, to feel sad or lonely if I wanted to. It never lasts forever, maybe an hour or two, put on a sad movie and cry...this is where I am now. These are my choices, to protect and respect myself and my kids. To me it looks like this. And little by little, every day turns into a week turns into a month, turns into my life now.
This is certainly not what every single mom faces, some are desperate for someone anyone, but we know how that can end.
I refuse to be one of those...I'm learning all I can about myself and my choices, and you know, I'm strong now.
I can't say how many times my pillow was wet with tears, but, I can say it isn't anymore. It all passes, and the trade off is worth it.
I would rather have my life without being under the thumb of a tyrant, or a sociopath as I was when I was married.
Everyone says- "Oh, you'll meet someone when the time is right", and for me thats been about never. But maybe I'll be alone forever. And you know what, thats okay right now.
This probably didn't help you feel less anxious about being single, I realize how just the thought of being alone can lead some people fishing for another mate, but, if you don't know how to take care of yourself yet...it probably means, you aren't ready to be a healthy partner, or you may attract someone who wants to control.
Just learn what you need to learn how to do it...you'll get to where you need to be.

I've never been in a relationship. I think the hardest part is just wondering what I'm missing. Whenever I say that, people just laugh and say "you aren't missing much! Men suck and relationships are hard", but I must be missing something otherwise no one would bother being in a relationship.

It's hard to wonder what it must feel like to be held and have someone say they love you. It's hard not knowing what that must be like and wondering what it feels like to be loved.

It's hard sitting around with other women and they all start laughing about something involving relationships and I just laugh too even though I have no idea what they are talking about. It's hard being the one that everyone goes to for relationship advice but having no real experience to talk about.

It's hard to watch my friends starting to talk about marriage and I'm still wondering when I'll have my first kiss or hold a guy's hand. It's hard to listen to people talk about their crazy sexual escapades when I feel like I'll never get a guy to want to do that stuff with me.

This one will sound weird, but it's hard listening to people talk about their ex when I've never had anyone would could have become an ex. I mean, having someone at some point in your life want you enough to say he wants to be with you and you alone? That idea is amazing to me. Like it's weird enough to think about two people actually both liking each other. And then these people have found more than one person to like them back? Enough to have an ex or two? I wish I had history with someone.

But it's just the way things are. I don't usually feel sad about it because I have tons of my own issues to work out. I'm not ready to be in a healthy relationship and I'm scared of intimacy.

Getting used to being alone.

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I'm in a whole other category than most of you. I've been single / alone most of my life. Only had like three boyfriends, all short lived. I've always been independent, doing most things for myself. But because of my severe depression, it makes it so very hard to even meet any possible bfs.

What do I dislike about being single...
Not having anyone! I'm the only single person in my family. So when we all get together, and there are 11 total, I am alone. Weddings and birthdays and parties and just going out for fun, I hate it cuz I am always all alone - no one there with me.
There's no one to talk to, no one to make me smile or laugh, and no one to be there for you when you are sick or hurt. There's no one to cheer you up when you're sad, and no one to help you through those rough and tough times. There's no one to 'know' (ya know, you can see it on a person's face) when you're not alright and is right there for you (and with you). Yeah, it gets very lonely at times.
And as for the kissing and sex, can't really say I miss it cuz never really had it to begin with.

I live alone on a farm. And my cats help with the companionship some, but they are outdoors. But I love the wide open space and the freedom of not having a neighbor 25ft from you at all times. (I can vacuum at 2am if I feel like it, and I have at times)

I live alone on a farm in the upper Midwest. And I've got no problem doing things labeled as "a man's role". Other than using a large snow blower to keep the yard and driveway open in the winter (which my neighbor does for me), I basically do everything else myself!

I do things like mow the lawn (which takes about five hours), trim trees and bushes, tend to the flowers around the house, fix the wooden fences around the farmsite, and more. I've actually gotten to be pretty 'handy' over the last 15 years. I can build shelves (I have one in the garage that is about 7ft x 3 1/2ft), build storage bins, fix the lawn mower, do maintenance on my car (I change my own oil), and things like that. There is not too much a person can't do with a hammer, pliers, adjustable wrench, and a drill!!

I agree with all the lonliness related stuff. When I was married I was more lonely. But that is another story.

Thanks for your honesty.
I too cope with being alone by avoiding it. I was married 21 years and had two kids so I got quite used to having company, then at 50---all of them gone! Kids to school, husband onto a new life seeking a new partner.

So, I entered into a relationship with a man that seemed promising---but with children from our former marriages and being very different from one another---he wants to live alone, I want to live with him, we are just seeking something different. Because I've currently only have one friend and she lives on the west coast and I'm in the east, I just hang on because something is better than nothing.

I don't think being alone as much as I am is healthy. I'm a social animal, but at 55 I don't meet any women who want to form new friendships---most women my age seem to be married or with someone and that's their primary friend, or they have friends they've had for eons and don't need any more.

I have tried bookgroups, church, work, and other venues to meet people, but in a small town in a rural area, there just aren't many people around.

My long term plan to cope is to move to a big city. I'd be interested in hearing if anyone's done that and how it's working out.

But what I keenly need is support to leave my relationship---I've tried but I can't function having no one to talk with or be with. I get so anxious I can barely work, drive, eat, talk. I'm seeing a therapist to work on this, but he's working on this with me like a snail.

If I could find friends who'd be present for the first weeks trying to get along without the boyfriend, I think in the long run, I'd be less lonely and free to find someone else. But, that's not what I have.

So what do you do in my situation?

My coping tips (they are not all mentally sound--but they are just for coping):
Take long hot baths
Watch public television
Talk to my son
Write emails to my friend
Go to sleep early---sleep long as possible
Fill all the hours with as much work as you can take on
Read
Meditate
Organize

Sleeping alone at night, I always miss sleeping with another person.