Hirsutism

So this is really embarrassing and I never talk to anyone about this. I'm 21 and I've been dealing with hirsutism since I was a teen. For those of you who don't know: hirsutism is basically being hairier than normal and also having it in places where men normally get hair. (It felt embarrassing to even write this...). They've given me medication for it, I've tried laser,... Nothing helps. It brings me down so much and just makes me incredibly sad sometimes. I've never had a relationship and practically no guy has ever looked twice at me. I feel like I'm missing out on so much and such basic things that are so normal to the rest of the world. I honestly feel like a freak that no one will ever want and that I'm going to end up alone in some apartment one day while the rest of my friends get into relationships and maybe marry and have kids. It's so incredibly lonely not knowing anyone else who has this. I just really wish I could be normal...

Are there any groups that you can join specifically related to Hirsutism? Maybe if you can find people who are going through what you go through you wont feel as lonely.

I've dealt with excess facial hair for years. And my daughter now had to de-fuzz often. I'm blonde and she's brunette. God knows why? I never thought about joining with other groups specifically for this, not a bad idea.

I have no problem talking about this if it would help you! Cat

I suffer from this too. Mine's from having PCOS. I only suffer from excess facial hair. I know I shouldn't, but I shave mine. My fiance doesn't mind it. He always tells me he doesn't even notice... probably because I'm blonde (though shaving makes it darker).

Anyways, I want you to know that you're not alone and you can have a relationship with this.

Have you been to a gynecologist? A hormonal imbalance can cause excess hair on women. (Or lack of on men.) If there is something wrong, get it fixed if you can. Otherwise know that when someone loves you it won't matter at all how hairy you are. I've known women with chest hairs that had men/babie, etc.

I suffer from it too. I have PCOS and being on the birth control pill and waxing has helped somewhat. It destroyed my self-esteem when I was a teen. If you need someone to talk with just PM me.

Thanks everyone, and yeah I've gotten it checked by a doctor a few years ago and got some medication for it, but it doesn't really work; I still have it. It sucks that laser didn't work either. And there are barely any groups or forums on the internet, or they're not active anymore.

Have you tried threading? I want to get it done but haven't had time.

I also have it as a result of PCOS.

What meds have you tried? There's quite a few that can be effective, depending on the cause. It's almost exclusively due to increased androgen (male hormones), but the cause can be quite varied. When you were checked out, do you know all that they checked for?

Technigal, I haven't tried threading yet, but it doesn't seem that much different from other normal hair removal methods.
And Pinkflower17, they got my bloods checked but there were no increased hormones or anything. I also don't have PCOS.The doctor said it's because my hair follicles are just more sensitive to androgens. So now I'm on the pill and anti-androgens but I still have hair in weird places, it didn't get rid of it. I've been taking them for like 5 years or so now, but I'm scared that if I stop, that I will get even more hair than I already have in those places because it probably does diminish it to some extent, even though it's not completely gone. I've done laser too for my face, but it didn't get rid of everything either. And I grew new hairs too so I doubt that it will ever be something that's permanent or really works for me.
My mom's a bit hairier too, but not to the extent that I am, so there is probably some genetics involved too.

It does sound more genetic than anything else. I did try threading a couple times for my eyebrows, which I know is really different and I didn't think it any more or less painful than waxing, nor did it seem to last any longer and once they accidently ripped out half my eyelashes in one eye, so there's that....
On the other hand, I'm very blond and of Scandinavian descent, and have almost no body hair. I don't even have to wax my eyebrows more than a couple times a year, so it may be different for you.
Hope you find something that works.

I have this issue too. Some of it is genetic but a great deal of it is from having a hormonal imbalance due to PCOS. I discovered it mainly when I got off of birth control years ago. Since going back on, it has helped slow the growth down a little bit, but there is still quite a bit of hair. My lab results for my hormone levels always fell in the normal range, which can be typical for this condition, but everyones body is different and some are more sensitive to shifts than others. Be careful with laser hair removal. This should only be done in areas that have dark, thick, coarse hair. Otherwise, you could run the risk of laser induced hair growth. It sounds silly but it is a real thing. I had it done on my face years ago and rather than helping the issue, it caused more hair growth. Electrolysis is the best option but it is rather difficult to find a person who can properly kill the hair and it is a long drawn out process. There is a site I used to frequently use that helped. Hairtell: Hair removal forum. It is a forum with people who are going through the same issues and professionals who offer advice.

I'm a hairy little ape too. No PCOS, just lots of hair. Except on my scalp. I never gave it much thought until I got older and then there was more of it. (And even less on my scalp!) I dated, fell in and out of relationships, got married, had my son and never let the fuzziness stop me. Sometimes it bothers me and I shave my face. Most of the time I don't bother. I guess in this area I'm pretty self-accepting. BTW most of the hair on my face, stomach and back is somewhat long but fine and light in color. There is just so MUCH of it. You say you have been on the same meds for 5 years. Have you had your blood work redone or sought another opinion in that time? Hang in there.

Thanks for your responses. I'm probably getting it checked again this summer. I haven't had another opinion yet, but my doctor seems to agree with the other doctor who checked the hormones. From what I've read online it seems pretty accurate what they've told me as well, so I don't think there's much someone else can do.

I mainly struggle with hair on my face and around my wrists. The hair around my wrists bothers me the most because it grows long and dark. It's really noticeable! I feel like an ape sometimes.

I'm also 21 and also deal with this, perhaps due to my adrenal glands issues (I don't have PCOS). I also had this terrible acne I've treated with isotretinoinum (and it's back after 3 years!) and general virilization (for example, my shoulders are wide and my butt is very flat). I'm not a brunette, yet I have this strong, black hair on my belly, arms, thighs, butt (this one is the worst) etc. It's very frustrating, the laser hair removal could only do it, but it's too expensive (yet I recommend it for those who can afford it). No meds take it away for good.
I'm in a fairly comfortable situation because I'm not in relationship and don't do sex, but I imagine how hard it must be for a woman to keep it under control constantly if she wishes to stay smooth for her boyfriend etc.

First of all, you are NOT a freak, and you are NOT alone. I hope this is ok for me to share, but I have alopecia, which is the opposite problem where almost all of the hair on my head fell out, and I was left with patchy hair. None of the treatments worked, and I shaved my head. Like you, I've never met anyone with this problem and I know the loneliness, and the pain of feeling "different"or feeling like a freak. I think it's a form of grief and trauma when you witness these changes in your body that, frankly, can be pretty disturbing. I want to make it clear that I'm absolutely NOT implying my case is worse or something, but the issue is that what media and cultural values dictate about women is that if we have too much/not enough hair, and only in certain places on the body, we aren't considered "beautiful", "sexy", "feminine" etc. which translates to the message that we aren't valuable. And it's a heaping, steaming load of crap. People say things like "everyone has things they hate about themselves." They're absolutely right, but it can be different for us with actual health issues that cause these "abnormalities" because we have to deal with this on top of all the other poisonous, misogynistic messages about weight, breast size, body shape, and aging to name a few. The point is, you are SO much more than your hair and your appearance because you are a whole human being. While it's perfectly healthy and important to feel great about your outer beauty, your inner beauty and your confidence is what matters most. However you feel right now is perfectly ok, but I promise with time you will find acceptance. There are so many guys out there who will love you for WHO you are, not WHAT you are, and your desire to marry and have a family is very possible! Sorry for the long post, but I hope at least some of what I said helps, take care!