Why won't he stop doing it if it hurts me?

well, i have self esteem issues.. and for good reason I think. my teeth aren't straight by any means.. i have cavities (i know, my fault).. I have stretch marks from when i was around 15 and gained tons of weight.. and my hair is frizzy and ugly and i have a million gray hairs even though im only 22. =((
I lost almost all weight now. Im 5'0 and weight 115lbs. But i feel sooo fat and ugly and disgusting.
Ive never been called ugly and my husband complimented me often especially when we were dating and when i walk in a room, men stare.
But I feel so ugly and nasty.
My problem is that my husband has made comments about attractive women. He won't stop. He did it a long time ago, and i told him it bothered me. He said sorry.. not really apology since he didn't understand why it upset me but he just said sorry to make me happy.
Anyway, a few days ago, he did it again.. and hes done it multiple times after I told him it bothered me. He likes to make comments about how certain famous women are attractive and some who "look good for their age" is what he likes to say.
I know im being ridiculous, but it hurts soooooo much! I already have these self esteem issues and it doesnt help when he sits there and tells me he finds all these other women attractive.
It makes me feeel like i'm not good enough.
He's not the most attractive guy ive ever been with.. so its not like he's wayyy too good looking for me. But its a terrible feeling to know that your husband finds other women, who are obviously gorgeous, attractive. I know its normal.. but i think its so rude to tell your partner about it.
what do i do??? He doesnt understand and won't stop!
Im like freaking out about it every day and i cry about it almost every day because i just feel so ugly.
=(

hon our beauty comes mainly from within. you can do things to straighten your teeth and have the cavities filled. you can color your hair and do all kinds of things if that is what you want to do to feel better about yourself. I would if I could myself. All men look at women. it is part of their nature. I use to point them out to my husband all the time. how about this. you see a nice looking man and you do the same to him. let him see how it makes you feel. it is worth a shot right?

this used to be a problem with me too. and anytime i would bring it up the response i got was "just because i think shes good looking doesnt mean i think shes better looking than you". so then I started thinking about how, yeah I think Ryan Gosling is damn hot....but that doesnt mean he's better looking to me than my boyfriend.

think about what makes u attracted to your husband. its not just his looks. its his personality. so even though he might not be as physically attractive as someone else, youre still way more attracted to him than you are to whoever else. does that make sense?

i think it helps if you think to yourself that you also find famous men attractive but are still more attracted to your husband. cause then you might understand how he feels. i dont think saying someone looks "good for her age" is a shot at you at all.

if it makes u feel any better, one time i was talking to my ex and we were talking about olympic softball. he goes "yeah, you know, the smokin hot chick..." and i just stood there and looked at him like "did you seriously just say that to me?" lol.

behaviors like that are hard to change, especially if they dont think theyre doing anything wrong. and chances are, no matter how much you tell him it hurts, he still wont think hes doing anything wrong. so the easiest route would probably be to work on not letting it bother you. also, positive self-talk works very well in this dept. im one of those people that i look in the mirror and say "god im so gross!" so instead I have to pretty much force myself to pick out one good thing about myself and compliment myself on it. and not hearing myself say "god im gross" everyday has helped me feel much better. i feel way more attractive now than i did even a couple months ago.

hope this helps and good luck

I went through this with my husband and basically it came down to him saying what he thought about attractive females out load as a means not to feel guilty about the thoughts he may have had when he looked at them.... his way of being him self (a male drawn to beauty) without having to be less of a husband/lover to me (his wife).

Time has past and I have grown... and now it really doesn't bother me all that much - and heck I even look and speak out load on occasions about attractive men.

((( HUGS ))) for your pain...

thank you SOOOO much everyone for your support.

It's very hard for me. It makes me feel like he likes me less than those women.. or at least finds me less attractive.
I understand it's normal for men to find other women attractive. I just don't think it's ok to tell your wife about it.
I know, I think some famous men are gorgeous, but I would NEVER tell my husband or make comments. It would hurt his ego and self esteem.

I talked to him about it, and he said he would stop. I told him all about my insecurites.. and he said i was overreacting. Maybe I am.. but i tend to do that.
I can't bring myself to tell him how bad my eating disorder was though.. i've sort of told him I dieted but he doesn't seem to take a hint. I don't know if I should even tell him.
I'm glad he said he would stop, but idk if that's really going to happen.
He never said he was going to stop before, but maybe that because I hadn't told him how ugly I feel because I didn't want to seem vulnerable.. ughh

hopefully he'll keep his promise though..

You guys are right though.. i guess i need to work on my self esteem. saluki girl--I never though about it that way. I do critize myself every time I look in the mirror.. it's never "wow. im beautiful" but "ew i cant believe I look like that!!" lol

thank you alll

Oh boy I must be so odd, I ask him who he likes and he wont tell me it drives me mad I would love to know.

Honey, self esteem issues suck (obviously),

But at least he's telling you his thoughts, trying to be open. I don't think he's trying to hurt you. At the end ofthe day, it is YOU he is with

If I had a nickle every time I've heard a female say her man said the exact same thing (i was overreacting) when the issue of his wandering eyes were brought up - I would RICH.

Don't know if I should laugh or cry about that......

i agree with what everyone else here says, i dont have self asteem issuses against good looking ppl but every now and hen i feel like hubby should moan at me about my weight, he always refers to ppl that are over weight on tv or his mother, i look at hi and say what and he looks at me and says nothing he doesnt see that i connect myself in that group of ppl he doesnt see me in that group,