Your first time...

So, I was trying to figure out if I wanted to put this here or in the sexuality forum, but since I'd really rather hear from all you girls (and ladies and women), I figured I'd put it here.

And since I wasn't sure if this would upset anyone, I put a trigger icon. So, now that I got all the housecleaning taken care of, onto my question!

What was everyone's first time like? I haven't lost my virginity yet, but I'm curious to see what I"m getting into, lol. I'm especially curious to hear from those of you on medications that have side effects that mess all that fun stuff up.

Thanks everyone!
Ro

My first time my muscles were so clenched, he barely fit inside me...I had to practice with my own finger until my muscles became less clenched..

Plus, sorry to say, it was with a married man........

To be honest it was all that I imagined, if not less. I'm on medication, and still am, I swear it must take away some of the pleasure for me, because it's rare that I really enjoy sex.

Sorry to put a downer on it. It's different for everyone.

I think the first time is pretty stressful! thing is to try to stay relaxed so you can enjoy it.

My first time was awful because the only reason I did it was because my previous boyfriend had broken up with me for refusing to have sex with him (I was 14 when that happened). So I ended up losing my virginity at 15 which I wish would have been later now. He didn't really fit and it hurt extremely bad but I think if I would have just waited a while longer I could have avoided those problems.

Just make sure its something you really want. No matter what, if your heart and your mind aren't prepared for it, it wont be a good experience at all.

Yep, I was just like saluki.

I was .... GASP 13( i know, I know, I wish i could change that now) And he basically bullied me into saying yes.. It hurt, it wasnt fun.

Most first times are no where like the ones we see on tv or read in a romance novel, as good sex comes with practice.... hence why my first time was uneventful. And while I admit that I liked being touched, held and kissed the intercourse part did nothing for me... it was more stress than passion.

I'm with Junerain. My first was with my husband and I had stretched quite a bit in the weeks before the wedding night and still experienced pain from being too tight. I still have to stretch when it's been too long. My probs don't come from meds, surprisingly enough, just from the depression itself.

It hurt, and it was the wrong guy. I still have pain, but I think that's another issue. As for the meds, they reduce my sex drive, and I HATE IT! I've lost a great deal of my sex drive in the last several years, but that may be because I'm soon to enter menopause, if I haven't already. I hope the gyno can give me something to get my sex drive back up, because I want it mentally, but not so much physically, and orgasms are barely there.

But, back on topic, when you have your first time, make sure the guy takes his time and insist on all the foreplay you need. I've read and heard some good advice (from the wonderful Dr. Ruth, among others) that losing your virginity can be easier if you're aroused and well-lubricated.

TRUE - Pain often comes along with the first time...

Thanks everyone for the replies!

I'm pretty prepared for the prospect of my first time hurting... My boyfriend and I actually tried the last time he was visiting me, and it was a no go cause it hurt so bad.

My main issue is my medications make me less sensitive down there, and therefore less wet. I"m not sure what to do about that exactly. Besides buying lube, I'm not sure what else to do. I was on wellbutrine for awhile, which everyone says is supposed to be easier on the sex side effects, but it didn't work for me. I feel like I have a bit of a double whammy here, between being a virgin and being on medications, I may never get to have sex, no less enjoy it! Lol, c'est la vie?

me first time.....



was crap :P

i was 15. i did it to shut him up basically.

:P i faked.

Have you tried using some lubrication for the moment?

and remember theres no shame in buying lube! the first time i bought it i was so embarrassed i made my bf go in without me and buy it! now i dont really care. and if youre uncomfortable going to a place like wal-mart where theres tons of ppl watching you buy things obviously used for sex, go to a sex shop like the lions den. everyone in there is there for one thing so theres no reason for you to be ashamed bc theyre there just like you are!

My first time was absolutely horrible...
I think it was mainly due to the fact that I had been molested like 2 weeks before,
so it caused memories to come flooding back and sent me into a panic attack.
Also, I am extremely tiny, so yeah... I'll be honest... it hurt like hell.

There can also be a tiny bit of blood... nothing to worry about though.
It's from the "popping" of your cherry.

Are you sure your desire to have sex isn't due to the molestation? I'm not saying you can't genuinely want sex, but it might be better until you've had some therapy sessions to deal with how you're feeling and the panic attacks first.

One important thing about the lube...make sure it ISN'T oil-based! Oil-based lubricants can weaken condoms, so use water-based ones instead. A very popular one is Astroglide, but certainly there are many to choose from.

I was 17 and it was something I really wanted, and the guy was the right one for this experience. He was a bit older, experienced, and knew lots about how to make a woman happy in bed. It still hurt a ton, but there was some enjoyment too. By the third time, it didn't hurt anymore.

Another thing...remember, you can also order lube online, if you don't feel comfortable buying it in person.

And, if fear or discomfort becomes too much of an obstacle in breaking your hymen, it can be done fairly quickly and less painfully by a gynecologist. They numb it a bit before making a small cut. You'll still have to get used to the stretching of having a man inside you (or a sex toy), but it should be a lot less painful...and, on top of that, if that did happen to be a problem, there are tools called dilators (talk to your gyno) that can help.