No work worth doing

No work worth doing, that I can do.

I'm studying environmental science. I love nature. I hate what people have been doing to it. Even the basic science just gets used to justify more abuse. A few people actually care, but most are just flying a banner of "sustainability" to help market their business or other interests. Or they're in fantasyland that every little bit makes a difference.

I'm tired of hanging on hoping things will change. I see things getting worse throughout my lifetime.

It's very discouraging. I apply for some jobs, but my heart isn't in it. It's all compromised and ultimately people-oriented goals. Why do I even post this. I doubt anyone will understand.

I'm in the top 5-10 percent in my classes across my field of study, but I'm not so superfantastic that I've been asked to go into research like my husband, the brilliant one. Plus he's younger, so he's getting his first kick at the can. I'm an old unwanted thing, it feels like. In my past career, I was outwardly successful in things that left me miserable inside, and I don't want to build on those things as I would be expected to do at my age. I just don't care in the least. I did it for the money and for my own learning experience. I have transferable skills, but no idea where I can really transfer them.

No place for me in this world.

No responses, no thoughts?

you sound angry.

Are you applying to Nonprofits? 100 Top Environment Sites

You could use your anger to go into law: Public Interest Internships in Environmental and Land Use Law

does anything give you pleasure?

I look at nonprofits, but so far they have all been people jobs, not science jobs. Nonprofits are social organizations, focussed on people primarily.

I didn't get accepted to law school 25 years ago, and I'm too old to try again. Besides, law is a lot about people too. I can't deal with people too much. I have no aptitude for people. Working with them a lot destroys me. That's why I left my old job.

I feel more despairing than angry.

You may be right, that there's no place for you in this world. Biology teaches us to adapt is order to survive. People may go through several jobs in a lifetime. Flexibility and change. Try to enjoy variety, because that seems to be the wave of the future.
Sorry.

> Biology teaches us to adapt is order to survive.

That those that happen to be adapted to whatever happens survive, and others do not. It's not like they are choosing to adapt. (You're kind of suggesting the intentional fallacy of evolution, Roadie.)

Do you want us to:
a) Make suggestions
b) Commiserate?

It's hard to know what the right response is.

I don't know what to do, how to approach life. I just want to crawl in a hole and die, but I keep soldiering on, because that's what I have always done.

I can relate to what you are saying H3rmit. I am an animal over people person. Too much of the world seems run by self serving people. I too am struggling to find my place and feel stuck right now.. paralyzed. I have a business degree but don't care one iota about profits and sales goals. And, at this point, I don't feel like putting all the effort into getting another degree for skills or knowledge I probably won't even use, let alone enjoy. I rack my brain but nothing seems to fit. I feel I just don't fit in this society as it has been constructed. But yet I know I won't be happy continuing on in limbo until I am absolutely forced to take any job and end up miserable and broken. I do know that there are many people in the same boat as I am. Most just suffer on in silence. I'm sorry I don't have answers. For me it may be the result of being an adult child of an alcoholic. I still haven't learned how to craft my own happiness by fulfilling my own needs and desires. My life has consisted of day after day of wandering around in a fog without any answers.

Not sure what this has to do with work and one's place in the world?

Humane soceity, SPCA, ASPCA, etc???

start your own movement! your own company, your own research, seek grants etc....

and oh yeah......you are NEVER too old.....

Nice idea, but such things are all fundamentally about people, and require an orientation that is beyond me, is not me, and even the psych told me to give up on trying to get those kinds of people skills. So, at some point an old dog reaches its limit. Sometimes age really does matter. EG, my geology prof tmentioned during a lecture that working on installing and maintaining the avalanche protection on the roadside cliffs here is a young man's game, not that I needed to be told that, but it is an example for you.

Maybe I will find something, but it just won't be in a people oriented area.

Thanks for reply, though.

I'm wondering, what would be your dream job in this field?

What work/job would be the one you would like to see offered?

You asked for a dream job. Well, scientific ecosystem research, eg with lakes and rivers, plants, water flows, a little chemistry. (But as I said, no work that I can do. I now have a foot problem. I feel stymied by my age and difficulties with people and anything noxious. I'm trying to get healthier, but I still see more barriers.)

Thanks for asking.

You write so well, maybe you could write about these things for now?
I'm thinking it could be a way into some research projects.

We sure need some intelligent guidance on how to be kind to our Earth.

I've looked into that. At the level I have the knowledge to write about, every opportunity is about promotion, fundraising, and a lot of breathless social networking about sustainability, and that seems literally pointless to me. I will have to keep pursuing the real research avenue. I have a researcher or two in mind, so while I try to heal my ankle (no guarantees), I will have to keep pursuing that. I'm fixated on healing because I need to do some field work, but I can't do it this year, even though I signed up for the student work program and have been hoping for that.

From your post you sound like you have NO HOPE. Try to pick your head up. You sound like a very wise woman. You believe in something that is worth the pursuit. I can’t imagine the frustrations you have gone through with your current field of study/ career… I get so ticked off hearing about things on the news like hydro-fracking….going to the anti fracking community meetings… Your knowledge is imperative especially the way things are going. I’m sure it seems like you are trying to talk and the only response comes from a wall. Keep trying to stay focused, make some goals. I know I sound pushy but sometimes pushy is needed to step back and reset. It sounds like you have accomplished so much Kudos totally. You have come too far to “burn” out. Some of us such as my self admire the people who are educated and educate on the things that mean the most. Please find your passion in whatever it is you find it in. Don’t lose hope and keep your head up. Good luck. I wish you well on healing and finding what is peaceful to you.

Try to think of the creative aspects and the good you can offer. Then apply that to what you want to do. What sort of thing are you creating. What good thing will come of it.

Thank you.
I can handle pushy.
It's funny: much as I am terrible with people in many ways, I was involved in some heavy negotiations once for some months and I loved it because I could actually deal with the conflict directly. Of course, I'm not so good with diplomacy and being aware of relationships, but at least I know that now so I could rely on someone else on that score. I would like to use those skills, too, because I was great at it. Conflict doesn't faze me in the least. I was raised in it. It's being comfortable and happy that I have only begun to get used to now that I have my wonderful husband who is like a twin to me. And, yes, I am very grateful for him.

Every piece of your life can be seen as part of a great garden. The most beautiful garden that you can create. You tend to it and help things grow and make it beautiful. The goals are obvious. The garden. Will you work on the garden by yourself. Will others help you in the creation of this great garden. Its up to you and your inspiration. Your creative nature. It is what is most important in your world. The amazing things you can create.

You may be right, as per the famous quote attributed to Einstein, "Imagination is more important than knowledge." This applies to both science and art. And it may come down to this in the end.

. Einstein quotes can be so deep and thought provoking. Loving the quote. On a side note your passion can be felt through your words. You will find your nitch.
keep us post on your journies through the forums and such. You get my noggin joggin and that is what I need. Thanks