Support unit appointment

I have a meeting in a few hours with the support unit through my work. Im so hyper anxious about it as I only just remembered/saw it in my diary.

The doctor is really lovely and was very helpful last time. She wrote this big report on me but I was doing ok ish when I saw her last, Im now having a relapse of bipolar depression and Im really struggling. I dont want to cry in front of her but I think thats whats going to happen.

I feel so disappointed in myself that this is where I am right now

Sorry, I just wanted to get my anxiety off my chest.

Ok so I had my appointment, I was sooo anxious, but it was ok. The consultant is very lovely. I cried (obviously). But she told me that its really important to stay off work until Im feeling ready.

I dont feel anywhere near ready but that makes me feel even more like a failure.

I might discuss with my psychiatrist and see what she thinks about me going back on a phased return. That way I can take it slowly.
Its so rubbish to have mental health problems

Ive had some time to reflect today and I still feel so embarrassed and so ashamed that I cant handle work. Im hoping my thoughts start to turn a bit more positive.
I increased my meds today. I havent waited for my psychiatrist to tell me, I know I should have but I know thats whats going to happen when I see her so I just preemptively did it. Im hoping they work a little better, so far things have defo improved a bit on these meds, so hopefully an increased dose will help. However they did cause some insomnia for a week or so which Im not looking forward to.

Sorry your having a hard time.

Hi Pinny,

Sorry to hear that your meeting left you feeling bad about your bipolar depression. I think it's normal to feel embarrassed and ashamed when you choose to be vulnerable with another human being; because we can never predict the outcome that our vulnerability will have on us, or the person who receives it.

Wellbutrin is a wild horse as far as side effects. I read that it has suppressed your appetite. I think that's exactly why it's used as a weight loss drug. Maybe it's not the right medication for you after all? Are there others you could try instead? I can't suggest any b/c I am not a psychiatrist.

I think you did right to take some time off. Maybe you could reframe your embarrassment about your leave of absence to a more positive one; you are taking time to heal yourself so that when you go back to work, you'll be stable and feel great again.

Do you do anything as a hobby? You could use your time off work to indulge in a fun hobby or creative outlet to help your mind settle, too.

Thanks @Aviza

And thanks @Motts

It was so cathartic to write it out, thats why I replied to myself.

Thanks so much for your understanding and suggestions @Motts

Thats a really good idea. Im actually planning on getting married in August and havent done my invitations yet so I suppose I could make them.
Other than that I spend a lot of time with my dog, walking him, playing with him. Im taking him and my mums 2 dogs to an enclosed field tomorrow to let them run around like crazies.
Ive been on a few different antidepressants but anything that is sedating makes my hypersomnia worse. A little bit of insomnia for a week is probably good for me. And yes reduced appetite isnt ideal but Ive been eating regardless, just more little and often than big meals at the moment.

Anyway, sorry I didnt mean to tell you my life story I really appreciate your support! Thank you

Congrats on your engagement! Everyone here seems rather comfortable telling their life stories because this forum is a supportive space. So, no need to apologize for reaching out and sharing your real life here.

Dogs are awesome.They are great therapy for people, just by being themselves. I hope you enjoy your time with you mum's dogs and your dog tomorrow at the enclosed field. Fresh air is also good for the mind and the body.

Thanks so much @Motts thats so kind of you!
Youre so right, everyone has been so lovely and supportive on here. Its so refreshing!

Dogs are awesome, arent they! Thank you, Im sure itll be hilarious watching them be crazies

My downstairs neighbor has a 3 month old puppy whom I got to talk for an evening walk. I was SO happy with that puppy. I won't get one until I feel that the apt. is large enough for the dog. Unless it's an older, smaller dog who doesn't want to eat everything like furniture, plants, floor rugs, etc. ha.

Good luck tomorrow. Have fun. Dogs are great medicine for the soul.

Oh my gosh, how cute!!!
Yeah I always think that’s really important to get the right kind of dog based on where you live/what you do/your lifestyle.

Here is my baby with his bed hair :


Thanks so much @Motts , I really appreciate your kind words

He’s adorable!!

Good post. Especially - ''maybe you could reframe your embarrassment about your leave of absence to a more positive one; you are taking time to heal yourself (so that when you go back to work, you'll be stable and feel great again)''

I'm allergic to dogs (bummer) which is why I collect care bears instead.