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#151
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I'm new here. Recently relapsed sobriety date is yesterday
![]() Something that has helped me start over was a gentlemen telling me that I didn't fail because I drank or got high that I just hit a road bump in my recovery. Previous to this I was sober for 50 days. 30 of it was spent in a hospital/and an inpatient rehab facility. I just need to remember take it one day at a time. Were I failed? I wasn't going to meetings. I was not doing the 90 meetings in 90 days. Am not truly convinced that I am an Alcoholic & Addict. I know now that I am. I couldn't resist temptation as everything was so nicely laid out for me.
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PTSD BiPolar 2 |
![]() beauflow, madisgram, roads
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#152
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I'm here. Still struggling, but I refuse to give up trying!
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Never look down on anybody, unless you are helping them up. |
![]() madisgram, roads
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![]() beauflow, madisgram
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#153
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Released frustration and anger by shoveling snow for 5 hours instead of throwing myself into a vat of wine. Some people in my life really know the ingredients and the triggers that make me feel painfully invalidated. And it p!sses me off that I let them push my buttons. Drip, drip, drip...so it goes... Well, at least now I don't have to hire someone to clear the snow around my house.
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I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become. - C.Jung |
![]() madisgram
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#154
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....not sober
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![]() beauflow, summeryoga
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#155
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How humbling. Today I met a young man who had more than reached bottom. It is amazing he is alive - but he is and OMG, I felt slugged in the brain and stomach hearing his story. If he can do it - for sure I can too!
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Never look down on anybody, unless you are helping them up. |
![]() madisgram
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#157
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Congrats Buttercup! I love your "counter" and have been watching your progress. Keep it up.
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Never look down on anybody, unless you are helping them up. |
![]() beauflow
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#158
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I am 2yrs 5months sober today (from alcohol), and I have over 2months gambling free.
As for getting this far? It's been a rather long process (longer than the process of becoming an addict...that's for sure.) The process? First accepting that I had a 'problem' (I wasn't an alcoholic...oh no...yeah right!) Then I starting going into inpatient treatment facilities where they introduced me to books and AA meetings. I had to experience for myself that I was not ready to drink like a normal person after having 30, 60, 90 days clean. I would always go back to the same behavior. So more in/outpatient facilities & meetings until I finally came to terms that I could exist without alcohol. I just focused on that day. I made plans to make sure that I was going to be occupied doing other things. And, that included taking up hobbies that I never thought that I would do, but always wanted to. Look towards the ultimate goal and when you stumble...don't panic...just pick yourself up and keep walking towards that goal. |
![]() beauflow, madisgram
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![]() beauflow, Caretaker Leo, madisgram
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#159
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Sober Today!
![]() when i tried to get sober tho i struggled with relapsing. the quote below is exactly what was recommended i do. i needed to follow it to a "T". my therapist gave me these suggestions. he had acquired this knowledge about addictions while getting his PhD because he wanted to help addicted clients/drugs/alcohol. the only thing i would add being bipolar was to be responsible with taking my meds re bipolar. he assured me if i lapsed in any of these areas i would probably drink again. i did do what he suggested and found recovery. i still-after 22 years-am vigilant on this plan. it has worked for me. Quote:
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
![]() beauflow
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![]() beauflow, Caretaker Leo, RaggedyAnn67, roads
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#160
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..well here I go again!....putting the drink down!
I think the best thing about being an alcoholic is that I can stop acting like one at any time I WANT. I chose to do this again yesterday morning and poured my drinks down the sink....it's been like hell since but I have my mind back now. I will not give up. madisgram I will find more reasons this time...make my gratitude list bigger than my thirst! I am sorry madisgram but during my relapse I didn't believe I deserved any friends and removed everyone from my computer profile thing. I even tried to remove me but had more trouble with that one?....ouch I regret hurting any body....it would be a priviledge to have you back as my friend sober today...and away we go... ![]() |
![]() beauflow, madisgram, Neurontin, roads, Willcat
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![]() beauflow, madisgram, Neurontin
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#161
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DM, we're just glad you're back among the living.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
![]() Anonymous32912
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#162
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![]() Two nights this week a supervisor from days has left an unhappy client with me just as I'm coming on shift & they're going off, asking me to do xyb for them. In both cases supervisor didn't have complete picture & what they had promised was either not in my authority or against company policy. Both nights I spent 45/60minutes appeasing customer, which took time from other waiting customers. They saw what was going on, but still ... So we never caught up, either night, with our newly reduced night staff. I got a "thank you"--nothing else--for my efforts. Till today. My day off. Email an hour ago. Be at work tomorrow 90mins early. Bring documentation supporting decisions/actions taken. I dont have documentation, i didnt get supervisor's request in writing and of course I won't be paid for that ninety minutes either. HALT HALT HALT HALT I'm not hungry or lonely. Hoping I can sleep tonight. HALT HALT HALT HALT ... |
![]() beauflow
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![]() madisgram, notz
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#163
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using AA coping skills i learned that anger, a secondary emotion, results from fear, the primary emotion. then it's a process to use the angry emotions and re-direct them to a constructive approach. simply put it's working thru them to minimize the feelings of anger. one finger pointing outwards=3 fingers pointing back at us, as the saying goes. what constitutes our part instead of the other person's part?
hope this helps. seems like you aleady understand some of this already. ![]()
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
![]() roads
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![]() beauflow, roads
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#164
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Quote:
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![]() roads
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#165
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17 days smoke free for me, I can't quite believe that I have kept to it
![]() My cousin came to visit me on Thursday and she smokes I don't like anyone smoking in the house so she went in the garden, I find now that it really does stink, I can't stand the smell of them. |
![]() madisgram, roads
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![]() beauflow, roads
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#166
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....I'm not gonna say much about it,..
actually I have not even thought about it today. ...but I did think I would check in and report some positive activities! it's good to be able to sleep, eat well and even do some exercise again. and most importantly ...function better socially...as good as a madman can anyway. ![]() it always takes time to re-unite with civilisation after a relapse...but it's worth it. scary....but worth it! a sober monkey is a better monkey. ![]() |
![]() gma45, summeryoga
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![]() gma45, summeryoga
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#167
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Quote:
hope you'll keep checking in here. ![]()
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
![]() Anonymous32912, gma45
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![]() gma45
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#168
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Checking in= I am trying today to like the person looking back at me in the mirror.
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![]() beauflow, Caretaker Leo, madisgram
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#169
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Quote:
taking it a day sometimes an hour...at a time sometimes I feel like taking life a week, a month or years at a time but thats just silly. things are ok today....I am not at war with myself. only during these times can I 'see' what a horrible enemy I can be to me, me and the alcohol working together!...to destroy me. I won't give up none of us are anything like as bad as addictions make us believe....and yet the addiction is part of me...and you are right m...this I must accept and master. J ![]() |
#170
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gma, my sponsor in AA suggested i do this in early recovery. she wanted me to look in the mirror in the morn every day and say, "i love you". well i thought it a bit unuseful and kinda stupid. i did it however and one day when i said, i love you. i broke out into a grin cause i learned that i meant it!!! oh happy day!!!
![]() i had learned to love myself. you may find this to be helpful too.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
![]() gma45
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![]() gma45
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#171
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I am sober today. I need to say that. I am abstinent from food and cigarettes as well. I am living one day at a time and staying in the moment to the best of my ability. I will be going to visit family in a week and I have to be careful to protect these three precious things.
My HP can keep me sober, abstinent, and smoke free as long as I do the footwork. I commit to doing the footwork today. For the next 24 hours. May everyone have a wonderful sober and clean 24 hours. ![]()
__________________
![]() In the journey we learn and grow. The destination shows us how very far we have come and how far we have yet to go. |
![]() gma45
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![]() gma45, madisgram, roads
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#172
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i am here madi,
![]() ty and to pc 4 the help while i go through de-tox
__________________
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement . But the opposite of profound truth maybe another profound truth. (Niels Bohr) Nobel Prize Winner for Physics. The universe started with an 'E'. The universe will end with a 'K'. (lyrics Acid House) Its the truth even if it did not happen. (Ken Kesey) One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Real science can be far stranger than science fiction and much more satisfying.
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![]() madisgram, roads, Towanda
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#173
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Still Sober Grateful and Abstinent and smoke free. One day at a time.
Unity, Service, and recovery. Meetings, Phone calls, and sharing. Just for today I will work on being spiritually fit, that my sobriety will be safe in my HP's hands.
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![]() In the journey we learn and grow. The destination shows us how very far we have come and how far we have yet to go. |
![]() madisgram
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![]() madisgram, roads
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#174
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I am here today Cking in sober. Haven't made a meeting yet I don't know what is holding me back.
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![]() madisgram
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#175
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10 days sober....
and I went to an AA meeting tonite. the first one in about 4 years and 4000 drinks. |
![]() athena2011, gma45, madisgram, RapidFlyer, roads
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