drinking regularly to calm nerves.

so I don't really feel as though i am abusing anything right now...but I know I need to be careful when I do drink cause i can easily go too far.

Last night I went out and drank and got drunk for the first time in a while and it was fine. I didn't feel too poorly about that.

but tonight I am dealing with some stressful situations and I opened up a can of beer from my basement freg. I don't intend to have any more then this...so I am moderating myself.

but I have a sense of guilt about it since I am using it to clam my nerves. I think I am working with the knowledge that I know this has been an issue for me in the past and I am trying very hard to just be mindful of that and not lose I guess the sense of control.

be careful, hope you can control, tho understandable, get help and support, have been there and live with fam and friends who have also, and some still there. The best!

I too have some issues with alcohol abuse from time to time. You said you know it has been an issue for you in the past so I'd like to ask, to what extent has it been an issue? Would you say you are afraid of relapsing?

Keep us updated as to how you are doing with this. All the best.

Have you actually been diagnosed with all those illnesses? If so, are you taking medication at this time. If you are taking medications for psych diagnoses then you are playing with fire, so I hope you are not takng an prescription medication. Any time you use alcohol to self medicate you are getting in the danger zone of addiction. Maybe you need to be taking the proper medication for your illness and then not need to self medicate with alcohol. See your psychiatrist and be honest about your drinking.

I am taking meds but at the most I drink is one or two drinks a month.

and my doctors have said that this is fine for me to do.

I just know that before I was on meds I did use alcohol to self medicate and I am afraid of relapsing again.

In that case just be careful, one or two drinks a month is really nothing to be worried about BUT I think it's good to pay attention to your conscious. Obviously its a concern if you had used alcohol to self medicate before. Listen to that instinct.

Also I encourage you to consider this: If you're only having a couple drinks in a month, what are you really getting out of it? Why not just stop drinking all together? You won't be missing much.

This is definitely a case by case. Some people can handle their drinking and it's not a issue, but for some they can't stop and it does become a issue. I prefer shots. The only time I drink beer is in the summer at yard parties because that's all they have. At home I will always keep a 1 liter or 1.75 liter bottle of cheap whiskey or vodka. When I come home some times I have a few shots I space out before bed. My Scooby Snacks. There's no way I will give that up because it's the last vice I have left and I keep it well under control.

I too have managed my stress with alcohol. Now thanks to that my stress is 500% worse than it ever was without alcohol with no end in sight.

As someone who has been sober for almost 4 years now, I can assure you that the more you use alcohol as a coping mechanism, the worse off you'll be. It is a never-ending, vicious cycle as you will inevitably need more and more alcohol to calm you (as your body develops an immunity to it as well). I have found that things of non-addictive substances (such as deep breathing, getting a HEALTHY hobby, yoga, anything that will calm you) will be MUCH better for you in the long run. If you are REALLY serious about not drinking, I can promise you the book "Kick the Drink.. Easily" by Jason Vale shows you how we are all "brainwashed" into believing that we are "genuinely" giving something up by abandoning alcohol, and that alcoholism is not a "disease", we are all just programmed to believe that it is a genuine pleasure or a relaxer in one's life. I'm still reading it so I can't give you all the details. One of the best parts that I've read so far is:

Jason Vale said he doesn't know how it feels for a gay person to tell his straight friends that he is gay, but he can only imagine the same shock it would be very similar to the shock of when he first told people he didn't drink. He said that"Alcohol is the ONLY drug in the world that when you tell someone you've quit, they look at you and ask "What's wrong with you? WHY?" BUT if you tell someone "you've quit using the drug heroin or quit smoking cigarettes, you get congratulated and applauded". Alcohol does not relax you, it simply depresses your nervous system, and the reason WHY you feel it relaxes you in the first place is because YOUR BRAIN / YOU believe that it is the alcohol that is calming you but it is in fact the drug itself in the first place that causes your unrelaxed state. .. Think of it this way (this is how I quit smoking 4 years ago).. People believe that smoking cigarettes relaxes you (that's bull bc nicotine is a stimulant, so of course that can't be true). What actually relaxes the smoker (unbeknownst to the smoker) is the fact that person 1) steps outside to take a break from that stressful situation, 2) is DEEP inhaling (they are deep inhaling the cigarette carcinogenic fumes but whatever, they are deep inhaling,and 3) (most importantly), the person is RELAXED BECAUSE their body was in WITHDRAWAL from the LAST cigarette, which shows that the unrelaxed state was caused by the previous cigarette itself. Same for the alcohol. The UNRELAXED state was caused by the alcohol itself.

I would hope that you'd check out the book as it really does help if you have an open mind (as Jason Vale says "to keep an open mind!". I hope that you would make use of it! More people should find out about it as it is a wonderful resource. Good luck to you and keep us updated on how things go!

I also want to mention that in the "Kick the Drink.. Easily" book by Jason Vale.. he said that the problem of "self control" is a huge thing with drinkers. Some people try to justify their drinking "well, I only have drinks to socialize or relax during happy hour, when I'm stressed, at Thanksgiving, at Christmas, at birthdays, at funerals, at Christenings, at Bar Mitzvahs, after a stressful event, after a happy event, after a sad event, etc. He said that the more you drink, the MORE you need to exercise "self control" and it is a LOSING battle. Another awesome thing that I found hilarious in the book was :

He said that if I told you "I only have a banana twice a week.. When I do eat bananas those two days of the week, I eat like 50 of them.. but I swear, I don't eat bananas the other 5 days of the week.. I limit it to those two days".. Wouldn't you think that person had a banana problem? That's what people do when it comes to their alcohol consumption. They try to control it to the point where it is UN-controllable and you will need to exercise more and more "willpower" to the point where you completely can't after awhile.

Please do yourself a favor and invest in yourself by getting this book as I know how hard it is to struggle through alcoholism (Jason Vale said there is no alcoholism but I do not agree with this.. I do believe alcoholism exists). I'm just tryin to pay it forward as these 4 years I have been sober have been an up and down struggle for me. Good luck to you all.

Wow I'll have to check out that book "Kick the Drink..Easily." It sounds like a good book. Does he have any qualifications? I know you don't need that to write a good book, but it always helps.

my real personal goal for myself is not to kick drinking enitrely if I am drinking cause I am out with friends and I want to enjoy a drink that I like for its taste and the atomeshpere around me that is fine.

but using something I enjoy to deal with stress is not ok. I hate to say it but I really don't think i could fully stop drinking. that too me personally is too hard, however monitoring how much I drink and why I am doing so or where and for what reasons.

that I think I can certainly do.

I guess the reason I say that is cause I have a sex addiction also and I struggle with that a lot also. Butttt just cause I have that addiction and that I want to gain control over it does not mean I want to stop having sex alotether or never do so again, or for that matter feel ashamed any time I am sexual.

i want to find a balance in it where its not as much of an issue as it was before.

it is a totally awesome book! i talk about his bg a lil below since that is the q you asked about, his credentials.

I would totally suggest reading the awesome reviews on Amazon about him and his book..(both the UK and the US reviews..omg it is astonishing to see all the positive reviews.. He is widely successful in both countries).. I really don't know why his book isn't as well known though! I swear, people who didn't even plan on quitting drinking ended up voluntarily quitting alcohol because of all of the myths and brainwashing he dispelled about alcohol!! He also said that people feel like they are genuinely giving something up by quitting alcohol but you are actually being set free from being a drug user, as alcohol is a highly addictive Legal drug that kills so many people everyday. That's why he said that AA, although helpful, doesn't always help bc they make you believe that you are giving up a genuine pleasure when in fact, you are ridding yourself of a horrible poison that your body didn't even need in the first place! Alcohol robs us of our confidence and you are never being yourself if you are under the influence of alcohol. Even alcohol in small quantities is bad, how could a small dosage of poison verses a large dosage of poison be "healthy for your heart" (supposedly a glass of wine is healthy a day.. lol right. I totally bought into that bs for a long while! but Not anymore).. . 80% of the UK's population drinks alcohol yet heart disease is the #1 killer there.. (as is the case here in the US)..so, the bull about alcohol being good for us/or heart in any form is complete hogwash! Vale said "if heroin in small dosages were recommended for a healthy heart or body would you believe those "experts?"" Lol of course NOT!! Remember those experts are probably getting paid by the alcohol industry or the government to report biased/tainted findings.. these "unnamed experts".. lol right..

Jason Vale says he is not trained in alcohol rehab our anything but he himself used to have a huge drinking problem and he completely understands the brainwashing that our society has regarding alcohol. He is from the UK but his book is widely successful amongst his readers in the US as well and I would highly suggest checking it out! It is currently my top read on my kindle right now ) I know that Jason Vale is a Juicing expert but this was actually his very first book and I think his other books are health/juicing related. He has been alcohol free for 10 years and said he is so thankful he's never going back. What is also refreshing was that at one time, he too felt that alcohol was relaxing, cathartic, something used for celebratory reasons (and even in non celebratory events) and he is just so relatable all-around and inspiring! He really helped me so much and I'm sure he'll help you too

I get just as stressed out when I run out of coffee too

All I have to say is, if you use drinking for a social crutch, as a coping mechanism or for any of life's problems, you are fighting a losing battle. Your need for alcohol as a coping mechanism, as well as your alcohol tolerance will inevitably go up, requiring you to consume more, this wreaking havoc on your insides, thus making you more nervous and internally unhealthy. It definitely is very scary to stop drinking but that investment is a lot more rewarding than you think. I used to think exactly like you, didn't ever want to stop drinking.. ever. The thought of quitting scared the sh.it out of me. I was the type to socialize only if alcohol was around and would rely on it very heavily.. for everything. I had severe social anxiety too. Long story short, I needed to quit and it was not easy but I can say, I learned to LOVE and depend on myself without the delusion of alcohol blinding me to reality.. I found courage and a high self esteem that was in me that was completely masked over by alcohol. it was hard bc I had to change associations but my life is a million times better than before, and I feel dang good about myself today rather than when I was numbed out and strung out living in my alcohol induced drug world.

I don't think it's fair to make every thing the same lump sum. Not every one who drinks goes out of control. Many people drink 2 or 3 glasses of wine every nite, others 2 or 3 shots, others 2 or 3 beers and amazingly they can stop and it does not interfere with their lives at all. Sure they may be using it as a "crutch", and so what. Who here among us is not using some thing as a crutch to cope? Many of us need meds every day, a cup of coffee, a cigarette, etc. I believe as long as what your doing is not illegal and it's not interfering with your live, then leave them alone. It's not fair to assume every one who drinks will turn in to a wife abusing alcoholic or depend on it so bad that's all they think about. Yet this is the stigma drinking has caused. It's a case by case. If you have a history of abusing any substances, then I think it's fair to warn them about the harms of getting out of control. Let's not give alcohol the same stigma people give mental illnesses or even ADD/ADHD.

I'm not saying everyone who drinks will become a raging or out of control alcoholic. I'm saying that alcohol is still the world's most dangerous LEGAL drug that forces its users to exercise some degree of self control and discipline and overtime it gets progressively harder to control. And as time goes on, your tolerance aka immunity to alcohol will inevitably increase, and add a boohoo situation and I'll bet that it won't take much for the alcohol user to drown in their miseries. I'll bet he or she will be hung over like no other.. trust me I've been there in the past.

Look, justifying someone's or your need for a crutch, regardless of what it is doesn't make it right.. hell, I'm sure some people use opiates or meth (hey, some like uppers) to float their boat and let off steam, all I'm saying is, regardless of what that crutch is, you'll forever be a slave to that crutch regardless of how infrequent you use it and that's sad. There are other much more effective outlets. one of my favorite lines from Jason Vale's book is:

Someone who uses alcohol as a crutch or a means to cope is "being like an ostrich". An ostrich hides its head in the sand thinking that if he does so, the predator can't see him. Much like the alcohol user, he too hides his head in the sand, thinking that alcohol will help the problem, yet the problem will still be there regardless of trying to hide from the situation. Obviously I'm paraphrasing, but you get the jist. Alcohol doesn't and won't solve anything.

I wanted to show that nobody really needs to drink alcohol.. the brainwashing to do so is just overpowering and ludicrous. I'm just trying to help share some non conventional knowledge but if you want to justify occasional drug use (again, alcohol is a drug) by means of dealing with your life, by all means, knock yourself out

Thank you for sharing that info. I think I might look into getting that book.

Lately I have started to wonder if I have a problem too, because as you said with the banana reference -- I don't drink everyday, although sometimes it can be one drink or two a night, but sometimes on the weekends I get really carried away. I drink 7+ drinks and then I suffer really bad depression and awful emotions the next day, on top of the anxiety and disorder I already have.

I feel almost as embarrassed to tell someone I want to try to stay away from drinking for a while as I do telling someone I might have depression or BPD. I find it interesting that we shy away from saying that.

Especially living in the city I find that so much of our society is surrounded by this social drinking atmosphere. How do I get away from it?

I hate the idea of thinking of giving up alcohol as giving up pleasure. I have given up so much in life, I don't want to give up more pleasure. However, if I think of it differently, then that would be a good thing. Have to read Jason Vale's book when I have just a tiny, weeny, bit of money.

Who's to say if some one is using alcohol as a crutch? Certainly not you or I. There are by far a greater percentage of people in the population that drink regularly and not as a "crutch" and can function 100% without become a drunk, beating their wives, or go on binges.

Nobody really needs to eat meat too, so what was your point again?

Hi Moomoocows,

I would HIGHLY recommend getting that book. I totally know what you mean about 'getting carried away with drinking on weekends' as that is such a typical issue of the lack of control one faces while trying to get a grip on drinking. I was the very person that had difficulties controlling my prior drinking, and/or drug use back when I was 'partaking' in those types of activities. Little did I know that I was dooming myself to a death sentence if I didn't change, and honestly, the only reason why I did change, was bc my bf who I have been dating for almost 4 years now convinced me that I had a problem (and he is someone that is former military who had a lot of “bro-y” kind of guy friends.. he voluntarily gave up drinking for me, and we have journey-ed into a world of sobriety together (although he never had any issue giving it up, and did so willingly). Anyway, if you want to know more later, I'd be happy to share it with you. You can msg me if you want to. Going back to your situation.

I understand your reluctance for telling people you want to abstain from drinking, as you, as someone who is trying to do what is best for yourself, may feel highly conflicted because society very much makes non-drinkers out to be “boring”, “loser-ish”, and “no fun”, all the same stuff that I thought when I was a drinker thinking about most non-drinkers. Deep down though, I had so much admiration for my non-drinking friends (the 2 guy friends that I did have out of.. well, LOTS of “drinking” acquaintances) because I knew that those non-drinkers were the loud and crazy ones who “didn't” need alcohol or any crutch to “let loose and be themselves”. That was admirable and even sexy in my eyes. I want you to know that there is help out there for you, and I would again, highly suggest getting the book “Kick the Drink.. Easily” by Jason Vale. You only have one life, and if YOU are the one suffering day in and day out (or every weekend from horrendous hang-overs), I would say that your health and well-being are far greater of importance than what society feels about you and how your peers will think (although, surprisingly, peer/social pressure is probably the #1 deterrent of people quitting drinking.. if not the #2 reason.. the #1 reason is probably for the reasons above.. the notion that non-drinkers are “boring”, “loser-ish”, and “no fun”.
To answer your question.. you simply “can't” get away from it. Alcohol may possibly never go away.. but let me tell you this. Smoking was once seen as “glamorous” and even at one time, thought as “good for your health” (HA!).. As more and more people are giving up smoking, it is seen as a disgusting, and unattractive habit that some people engage in. I believe alcohol will eventually have a similar shift but it may be a little while. I think you need to find people that do not revolve their lives around drinking. I myself had to unfortunately cut ties with people, as hard as it was, because I couldn't mentally disassociate them with drinking. I surprisingly had VERY supportive friends who didn't want to just get shmammered with me and wanted to hang out, however, I couldn't because I couldn't see them as anything BUTdrinkers (I started drinking with these friends from age 15 til about 23.. I am 27 now). I knew 2 of those girls (best friends) for about 8-10 years. It's hard cause they were good people but if you cannot disassociate yourself from activities you once engaged in with people or take yourself out of the environment in which “triggers” you wanting to drink alcohol, YOU MUST remove yourself from that environment, ASAP and do NOT tempt yourself. Eventually when you are stronger it would be recommended to re-enter that type of environment so that you don't feel “completely” like an outsider as a non-drinker (for example, if you can eventually, re-enter a bar but order a soft drink.. but if you are the kind of person who just wants to stay away completely from bars/alcohol environments that is fine as well, that depends on “how much” of an alcoholic you were/are. I would just suggest to re-enter that environment with the intent of NOT drinking because you want to make your life as “seemingly” typical, as again, as a non-drinker, you may be singled out by others. This is subjective and I may have people disagree with me, but that is my take on it. Again, if you are an alcoholic and need to be completely away from alcohol-environments, that may be best for you. It is a case-by-case basis.

If you need to msg me, feel free to as I know how difficult it is to possibly give up drinking. Without alcohol, I feel that I am truly free and not missing out on a dang thing. It took me a long way to get there, but I can tell you, that Jason Vale's book really re-programmed MY mindset as I used to tremendously feel like “I was missing out on drinking”, which is why Jason Vale said that AA doesn't work for a lot of people – bc the AA attendees are brainwashed into thinking that “they will NEVER be free from “alcoholism”, which Vale doesn't even believe in, and that the ONLY reason why non-drinkers who unwillingly give up alcohol feel miserable giving up alcohol is BECAUSE “they feel deprived and that they are missing out in life”. It is ALSO the brainwashing and marketing that is projected onto society, which is SO powerful which is NOT the case. I feel absolutely wonderful and blessed in life right now. I was a person living in your shoes (with the misery, love-hate relationship with alcohol). Hopefully you will see that you are worth way more than what others expect or think of you and I know it is very hard, “easier said than done” to say “don't care what others think” cause that is NOT the world that we live in.. we ALL care about what others think of us and to say that we don't would be a total sham and a lie. Just want you to know that you are not alone and that if you would like some help, I'll try my best and you can msg me Best of luck to you hun!

Lol! Seriously? You really do not even merit a response, one iota! Go ahead and drink, "knock yourself out", this totally was not for you hun! All I need to say is, I can't and won't save em all

I don't need your approval to drink or not. I don't doubt some people have a problem with drinking and it interferes with their lives, they should not drink. Just like some people have problem with gambling, they should not gamble. But to claim that drinking is bad for everyone is just not being honest or truthful.

I been drinking for over 40 years, no issues, no problems, because I know when to stop and that is where the problem can occur if you don't know when to stop, or if it is all you think about. That would be a problem, but the vast majority of the population world wide, that is not a issue. And that my friend is the truth. I deal in the truth not emotions.

Alcohol ISN'T a pleasure. It's a DRUG that in itself creates feelings of one's inadequacies, hardships, 'PSEUDO-fun' (masking over real self), enhances stupidity (ie. if you are stupid, makes you even 'more' stupid), gives the drinker a fake sense of courage and confidence (hah!) and makes people think they are funny, yet, to a sober person, is a complete and obnoxious dimwit

To say that it is "healthy" for one's health would be the dishonest and non-truthful aspect of things (again, heart disease is the #1 killer in the U.S. and according to Jason Vale, in the U.K), alcohol is consumed by 80% of the U.K's population but heart disease is the number #1 killer there, so.. do you think it's the alcohol that is making things healthier for people? Doctors and "experts" claim that "alcohol , esp red wine is good for your health". Again, how does it make any sense that "a little bit of poison is good for the heart" but "a lot of the poison isn't?" It's the same poison, isn't it? A poison is a poison regardless of the quantity. Does less of it make it good for you? lol.. ?

I wouldn't say that the majority of the population (the world's population.. how do you even take the census on this? lol), doesn't have a problem. In fact, it is known that alcohol *is* a drug.. so, any drug taken must have its usage increased. Are you saying for the last 40 years that you didn't have to increase your amount of alcoholic drinks? I am sure you have, that is not to say you have a full-blown problem (may be far from it) but to say that you have drank steadily 3 beers on the weekends for example (once a week, every Saturday, or every other Saturday) for 40 years would probably be misleading. I'll bet your boots you have increased your dosage from the time you first drank through the 40 years. That, my friend, is the nature of alcohol. Immunity is inevitable as time passes on.

It's great that you don't have any alcohol related issues but again, immunity overtime really shows that alcohol isn't something that you can physiologically control. Maybe psychologically you are better at controlling it, but I am sure you had to make concessions when needed (you HAD to cut back because you had work the next day or.. you were driving so you couldn't drink anymore OR you didn't drink at all). People are slaves to alcohol in some shape or form, regardless of a 'huge' drinking problem or not