[Misssy2]

I'm so agitated.
It is snowing out and snow is my favorite.
I can barely focus my eyes...haven't eaten anything of substance in last couple of days...due to the nausea...I felt i slept good last night and today would be a better day...not so much.

[Moogieotter]

Hey Misssy2,

Sorry you are struggling. Early recovery for me was very very challenging. Hang in there and let us know is we can help!

moogs

[winter4me]

Originally Posted by Misssy2

I'm so agitated.
It is snowing out and snow is my favorite.
I can barely focus my eyes...haven't eaten anything of substance in last couple of days...due to the nausea...I felt i slept good last night and today would be a better day...not so much.

Hang in there. Three days is just the beginning of the tough few days/weeks. But it is NOT forever...coddle yourself, broth, crackers, sips, maybe some OTC meds for symptom relief (eg: something for nausea, for muscle aches,...). If you enjoy and have access to a bath with a scent that you find soothing, do that, ...whatever soothes, take time with it, and keep busy with relatively mindless tasks...repetition can be soothing (whether it's playing solitaire, knitting, rocking...). Get outside if you can for a little bit at a time...play like a kid...
That you slept well is good.

[Misssy2]

moogie and winter.
Thank you so much for the support.
Usually, 3-4 days is h*LL and then I become alive.

Just this morning waking up...I thought I felt a lot better and stupidly drank coffee...coffee did me in.

Sleeping helped me to feel a bit better..still no appetite..but I am eating nips here and there of what is available here.

[splitimage]

Hang in there Missy2,

Days 3 & 4 are often the worst for people, because that's when the last of the alcohol is leaving your body. Stay sober and it gets better. I've heard the advice given, that for the first 7 days, you should treat yourself like you had the flu. Lots of rest, fluids, and small lean protein meals throughout the day.

You can do this.

splitimage

[Misssy2]

split image...hi..and thank you...Day 4 now...still feel like a zombie....i sleep well... I feel like I'm ready to get up and then I do and I'm exhausted. So much to do for Xmas eve..we are having a get together here..and I can do nothing.

My niece is having major spine surgery tomorrow and luckily my sister doesn't want anyone there..but I just feel like I should at least feel good and ready if she needs me. Guilt and shame are overpowering.

[LadyShadow]

Hang in there!

Me being a HUGE alcoholic made it to 100 days sober. And if I can do it anyone can!

Just stay strong, and try to eat and just drink water. I am not completely sober anymore but my drinking has definitely been cut by at least 90%. What I do is I pretend to have a virtual drink even though its water. It's so silly, but it actually helps me.

Good luck to you. And stay strong! Stay Proud!

[notz]

Think of it as coming off poison. That's not far fetched either. It is a poison of the mind, body and soul. Take good care of your body right now and the rest will follow. Much support here, keep posting.

[Misssy2]

LadyShadow - I had 8 years sober at one point and have proved to myself over and over in the past 3 years..that I can not drink normally..so whatever works for you...that is great! Keep doing it.

notz...yes, it is poison and It almost killed me again....this is ridiculous...i just ate my first meal in days...a scrambled egg and a 1/2 english muffin, drinking honey, vanilla and chamomile tea and then laying down for a while. Thank you...both.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Misssy2

LadyShadow - I had 8 years sober at one point and have proved to myself over and over in the past 3 years..that I can not drink normally..so whatever works for you...that is great! Keep doing it.

notz...yes, it is poison and It almost killed me again....this is ridiculous...i just ate my first meal in days...a scrambled egg and a 1/2 english muffin, drinking honey, vanilla and chamomile tea and then laying down for a while. Thank you...both.

Yes I understand your pain. I fool myself into thinking "I can do it on my own" I am a lot like my Dad (he is a severe alcoholic but in total denial) where I can go like two weeks without drinking then binge drink. I don't binge drink anymore THANK GOD, but I still sneak a beer here and there or some wine. NO MORE HEAVY LIQUOR for me. I can't go that route. It's too dangerous.

But congrats on this BIG HUGE step you made. It is such an accomplishment and I am so so very proud of you. I am so glad you ate too. This is the hardest part and you are doing phenomenal! Keep up the good work, and remember to congratulate yourself every day, every hour, every minute. You deserve it!

[Misssy2]

ladyshadow..every minute a congratulations to myself.
Only that I am alive..not that I am not drinking cause i have no desire for a drink for like 2 weeks like you said..and I have no one to SNEAK from...so its horrible.

Anyway, I attempted to take a nap before, going to try again...restless..but tired.
Thank you again.

[Moogieotter]

Are you hanging in there, Missy?

[LadyShadow]

Yes just checking on you Misssy. How is day 4 going?

[Misssy2]

Lady..thank you...I think it is day 5...?
But, I am obviously feeling so much better...but still yucky...still things are making my stomach sick (regular food..coffee).

i keep trying to drink a lot of water..taking vitamins...didn't take a shower today which is not helping. Feeling a lot of anxiety. Overwhelmed...but i am blessed because i thought I missed a pdoc appt last week and I called to ask for an emergency one for today..and they said I have an apt. tommorow...

I feel like a big hole like something is missing..feels like anxiety/panic...can't breathe..

BUT...I am ALIVE which 3 or 4 days ago was very shaky and I was not sure I would stay alive...my b/f insisted I detoxed at home this time vs. hospital and I agreed...so its been rough because I know I was severly dehydrated because I always get that way...and I know they always put a heart monitor on me...so I was scared everytime my heart speeded up..but all that has kind of subsided..its just general anxiety right now.

He bought me a baked potato for later today which I think I will love. I'm rambling..I'm just so happy to be alive and so happy someone cared enough to ask about me.

As I got myself banned from a website I was on for 5 years last week while drinking...have no idea what i said...but I know i pissed someone off obviously...and I am missing some of the people that knew me well enough to know...how hard this is for me. Thank you so much.

[Misssy2]

And lady...I just checked out your blog it is super cool.
congratulations on your new job...I am on disability too and feel like all my dreams are gone...your Dec 16 post gave me a new outlook...not now...only started with disability 2 months ago...took 2 years to get on it....I'm breathing right now...but maybe in the future.

[LadyShadow]

((Hugs))) Misssy, well you know I am glad you are very much alive and hanging in there, you are doing great!!

I am really sorry to hear you were banned from a website that you were on, that happens sometimes when we drink and act just out of control. I am sorry you miss your friends too, but you know you can make new friends right?? *wink, wink*

I am here for you and I am glad you are doing better, sorry I thought it was day 4 but if its day 5 even better!

Glad to hear you got a doctor's appointment too. Do you have a therapist that you can see too and get an emergency appointment with? That could really help.

Also just throwing it out there, but if you want to PM to talk I am here too.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Misssy2

And lady...I just checked out your blog it is super cool.
congratulations on your new job...I am on disability too and feel like all my dreams are gone...your Dec 16 post gave me a new outlook...not now...only started with disability 2 months ago...took 2 years to get on it....I'm breathing right now...but maybe in the future.

Thanks for checking out my blog! I am glad you like it! Yeah the job was tough to get, I was having a hard time dealing without it, because even with the disability it was extra hard this year for some reason because of all the debt I put myself in with all the spending.

Maybe what in the future?

[Misssy2]

maybe I will think of finding/trying to do work. I figure thou...if I'm getting paid 700 a week (averages to) to not work...why work? Other than to keep from going crazy and smoking or drinking myself to death.

Plus I have the fears of not being able to handle it...like I was just reading the thread of people working with disorders and some struggling.

I'm sorry you have gotten 2 CDRs in a year....that is crazy and I'm sorry to bring it up..just the mention of SSDI makes me sick to my stomach it was such a traumatic experience...the denials...and the wait of 2 plus years.

[CloserToTheMid]

I know that it is miserable. I'm sorry you have to go through this to get to the relief at the end of the tunnel. AA is the only thing that ever helped me, and I certainly could not just cut back. Impossible for me.

[Misssy2]

closertothemind..thank you so much..I am so much better..actually road trip to another state today to see my niece who had major spinal surgery..so blessed I recovered enough in able to be there for her.

Yes, AA is on the horizon...

[Misssy2]

ps..there is no cutting back for me either..I am a binge drinker in the past 3 years..prior to that 8 years sober...never ever will I think I can drink again and if I do drink again...I am just totally insane.

[CloserToTheMid]

I was never a really much of a binge drinker. I would get really sick. I was a steady hard drinker. I live so much better now, though. I find meaning and relief in things besides whiskey and gin now. I come home to my family now instead of to a bottle. Sounds cheesy, but it's true. Wow, 8 years of sobriety. That just reminds me that it will always be a day-by-day endeavor for me.

[Misssy2]

your welcome

[GGChar]

Originally Posted by Misssy2

ps..there is no cutting back for me either..I am a binge drinker in the past 3 years..prior to that 8 years sober...never ever will I think I can drink again and if I do drink again...I am just totally insane.

That really says it all for me. Insanity. I have never figured that part out and I quit trying. I used to ask myself why I drank again. But what's the point? I was a horrible binge drinker. Always 2 weeks at a time until I physically had to quit. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me feel sick.

I am so proud of you Misssy2! You're on your way. How was it seeing your family? I hope you can see a therapist. Mine saved my life by getting me to work through my crap and leave it behind. Leaving it all behind is everything.

[Misssy2]

Seeing my family? I don't see my family ....due to alcoholism and mental illness...I have pushed everyone away.

I am in therapy 1x a week..I am doing well with not drinking and thank you for the recognition of that too.

Happy Holiday!