[jamesp]

im 45 yrs old and have a form of ocd on the sexual side .ihave had it since i was 12 years old. this has haunted me all my life and caused great distess to me and the the people who are closest to me.about 5 yrs ago i finaly started getting the right treatment for it. but it was'nt diagnosed as ocd back than. a year ago my therapist came to the conclusion that i have form of ocd. Most of tthe symptoms i have under control. But the one that causes the biggest problem in my marriage is the one my wife hates ( looking at any and all woman).i am onmedication wiich has helped tremendously but as allways i slip now and than.
MY wife ca not understand that this is part of the disorder she thinks im looking for someone else.
But iam am not.
I AM A GOOD PERSON WITH A GOOD HEART and she knows thiis. I just wish she could understand the rest

[jmo531]

HI James and welcome to the Forum. Glad you found this place as I am sure you will receive great support here.
I also have OCD among other things. I have a terrible time with my intrusive thoughts so i can relate some what to your agony. I do think that a certain amount of "looking at the opposite sex" happens normally anyway. I know this may be enhanced by the OCD as well. I think maybe your wife feels a bit insecure as she might not fully understand OCD. Have you talked with her about this. Maybe your therapist can supply you with some literature for your wife to read so she can better understand that somethings are beyond your control and part of the OCD.
But she has to also understand that just because you guys are married, does mean you cant admire beauty. Sometimes, when I'm out with my hubby and I see a pretty women I will point her out to my hubby. Maybe it's because we have been together forever. Maybe were weird. Who knows. LOL
I am sorry you have to deal with this I know it is a diffucult matter. My hubby has a hard time understanding alot of my issues with depression, anxiety and OCD. I try to keep him informed with research and talking openly with him about things.

Please keep us posted. Take care.

P.S. I'm not a great typist LOL

[jamesp]

Hi this is Jims wife, just to elaborate, there is more to his story than he explains, jim also has a serious disorder that he has had since a boy..this thing wont let me elaborate...but he downplays things as usual, its part of his disorder...its not the fact that he stares its what he is thinking when he does it. i cant say because everytime i try to elaborate and i hit submit i get this error message saying due to the content it cannot be submited if you want to email i can elaborate on it...... xxxkoolkatzxxx@aol.com <font color="blue"> </font>

[jmo531]

I am sorry. I didnt mean to come across like I was blaming you. I was just giving some advice that I thought would be helpful. I hope the two of you can work out whatever issues you need to so that you both can live happy lives together with love and understanding.

Good luck to you both. Please feel free to post again if needed.

Have you two agreed to share his id on psychcentral?

emmy

[mrsp]

Hi this is jamesp's wife...i have set up my own so it doesnt get to confusing fore everyone.

[nothemama8]

How long have you been married, does he mind your talking about his problems?
I've been married 29 yrs, hubby is OCD, Panic/Anxiety, I on the other hand have DID, Anxiety, and Bi=polar
Angie

[kimmydawn]

thank you for that, mrsp. it's good to meet you. there's alot of support to be gained here for sufferers as well as family members.

i hope to hear more from you both soon.

be safe,

[jmo531]

Mrsp,
I am glad that you have set up your own screen name. I know you had said that our were having alot of anxiety dealing with all of this. You have come to the right place for support and understanding.

Take care.

[jamesp]

hi jamesp here i would like to thank everyone for their support for my wife and me. this is all new to both of us so any input is very helpfull.

thank you all
jamesp

[mrsp]

Hi, james seems to be ok with my talking about his dysfunctions and ocd, he wasnt for a long time, i guess it was a hushed thing his family didnt talk about. We have been married a little over a year and together for almost 3 years. I didn't learn the extend of his dysfuntions until about 3 months after we were married. Its been very difficult at times. It will be good having someone to talk to as I have not been able to talk to anyone about his problems and have felt so alone. Its almost a relief.

[mrsp]

thank you all for your responses, i dont know if you could imagine the relief i feel to finally have a chance to talk about what i have been going through the past year. thanks again

[jamesp]

hi and thank you i think it is very hard for someone to know what OCD is like. it is something you have to deal with on a daily basis and there are good days and bad days. since ive been on medication the good are better than the bad. and of course as my wife said there are numerous other things invo <font color="blue"> </font> ved with my disorder.it is funny though now that i know what it is i can see how things happen much clearer than i ever could. i will continue later
jamesp

[christopherm317]

I'm new to the forum world. However after having my life crumble, I'm seeking some form of help. My husband and I have come to the conclusion that he has a bad case of ocd. I know what a normal life is but in the past year life has gone down hill. My husband has always shown signs of ocd but never anything to scary. Just the common stuff like switches and sinks. I came onto this forum to see if my marriage is having problems due to my husband having ocd or my husband making excuses not to be a good person. I dont hate him for what has become, I just want to know how everything will effect us. Five years into a relationship and he is getting worse year by year. We can not afford to seek help for him right now. So now I'm here. Got any input for me I would love to here.

[jamesp]

hi ,
james p replying to my wifes post. The past year has not been easy for either of us.but since ive been receiving the right treatment there have been lots of improvement. but there are also days that are set backs where i can feel the anxiety and intrusive thoughts setting in and its a battle within myself to control them. thankfully most days i can control my actions but when i cant sometimes i lie to myself ot to my wife who i love very much.
You see my OCD has to do with the opposite sex and watching or gawking at them. i am also a man so it is only natural for me to look to some extent. i just wish my wife could be a little more understanding of what its like for me .
it hurts so much when she makes remarks to hurt me because she thinks i want to be some where else or with someone else. ALL NOT TRUE. i ttry to tell her that what i do has nothing to do with my respect for her or how i feel about her.sometimes it happends before i know it. IM looking for any litereture that might help her see it from my point of veiw
any suggestions