unrelenting panic

i am too paralyzed to move now

i pushed myself really hard for two years but now its too much when no results were there

i am going to the psych er today

what do you think?

Good move feary, good luck, will be thinking of you.

please let us know how you are, best idea to go today, i hope you can get some control soon, i am so sorry this is happening to you...

what will they do in the er

i am so afraid...

i have been reading your posts about this fear of aging and dieing. i wonder what it is exactly you fear about these things. is it the physical aspect or the emotional/intellectual. i think we all grow as we age learn from our experiences and become wiser for it. one day i will be a crone (love the term for old wise women dont you?) we all go through the physical changes and those we can work on (hair coloring, exercise, eating right) i found a white hair on my head the other day, talk about traumatic so i pulled it out and shortly afte i found more. im hoping it turns a beautiful white so i can let it be all natural. with the death fear is that also a physical fear, you have many options to make sure you are cared for and wont be in any pain(hospice is a great option for that) do you have all your final wishes down in a will so you know these things will be taken care of. are you afraid of what the afterlife will bring? finding out what you really believe can make a big difference. i have been told that athiests at the end are more afraid than any other group. perhaps figuring out what you believe will help. perhaps getting your final wishes ready will ease your mind on the end. i know everyone says it will be ok in the end it will work out. i hear that all the time, and actually tell people all the time too. it seems you have pushed yourself to be super busy and the perfect wife and mother for a long time. it is ok to take time out for yourself. relax a little, take this time while you are feeling anxious to use to take care of yourself. perhaps in your next post if you type positive affirmations(whether you believe them or not) and reading them over agian will help. i really have no answers as i avoid social situations even though i am extremely lonely. i think the er is a good idea. they will evaluate you and probably get you to an inpatient situation where you will have group and individual therapy probably get meds set up(even if they havent worked in the past) i wish you luck and hope you keep posting as here you do have people that care, you are not alone.

You "feel the fear and do it anyway". That's the path you follow if you are to get well. Many times during my life I've had to force myself to literally "jump off the cliff" (it was so hard and terrifying), but I'm telling you in every instance it paid off, I pushed through the fear and took a step forward. If you let FEAR win, it becomes bigger and bigger until it's all consuming.

I need to go to the ER but just CANNOT because:

my son starts 1st grade tomorrow and I need to be there

my son has his first soccer game of the season on saturday and I need to go

I am on the school board and need to go to meetings

my daughter is in gymnastics class and I need to go

this is what I have been doing for the past two years

going against my fears and doing things anyway (even went on a plane to puerto rico then a small 8 seater plane to an island and went kayaking by myself in wavy waters) but there is no relief and I am worse now

I don't know what to do

If you take some of the pressure off yourself do you think that would help? Sounds like a lot to have to do and constantly pushing yourself to do more and more can be stressfull and worrisome. Know that you don't have to do everything and be supermom. sounds like you are doing everything for everyone else.it is good to be there for your family but you have to be there for you first. wish I could be more helpfull.

You have to set specific goals that will improve the lives of both you and your children, and then start knocking them off - change, out of the now and into the future. The now isn't working for you.

You do the next thing you "have" to as you have been doing for the last 2 years (don't know about Puerto Rico and kayaking though :-)

feary, how is the therapy going? Is it helping to relieve your anxiety?

I just got back from 6 1/2 hours the psych ER where they discharged me

and their only recommendation was continue therapy and do yoga and meditation classes????

after I told them I cannot even brush my teeth or bathe and I feel terror every second and I want to end my life

what?????

I am severely ill

I can't keep living in this fear and doing things

I can't I just can't

I'm doomed just doomed

How much help has your therapy been? Is there a way you can see how to make it work better?

Recommendations of psych ER people are sometimes not helpful. That is not the same as your being doomed.

feary, I give you credit for going to psych ER, I know you were fearful of it. I can't understand why no one will take you seriously enough. I would consider another opinion. Is there anyone who could give you a recommendation or you could check online. Once you have a name, you could check websites that give you backgrounds and ratings on md's. I would imagine this would include psychiatrists also. They are healthgrades.com, vitals.com and ratemds.com. If you can't get help from the people who are there professionally to help you, it's time to move on to someone else.

I don't know why they wouldn't take me seriously

I am not able to function at all

my therapy sucks

I was crying a lot to them and said I CANNOT take care of myself

I need someone to hold my hand and help me every step of the way until I get strong enough on my own

Could you be more precise, give more detail? How would you change it to make it better?

Sometimes, no matter how much we need and deserve it, resources just are not there. Then what does one do? Is there anything you can do, taking advantage of as much help as is available, including support here on PC from your peers?

No, I am frozen in fear and hopelessness and sadness

I know I can never be even a little better

Is there someone you can stay with tonight so you arent alone? Do you pray? deep breaths, pray and hold on... you need help and finding the right person to talk to is key. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless, but think of your kids... they need you... you need them... peace and love

great, now to add to my overwhelmed terror of life and aging and dying, my house just got an offer on it so I will need to move everything out of this huge house

and find a new place to live

life is just too hard now for me being divorced with shared custody two small children anxiety panic depression past flashbacks self-loathing

i just can't do things not being able to see a future

I just see catastrophes even when I think of my kids

I feel so insecure and unsafe

I'm really sorry, BUT... think positive, maybe the change will be good for you, just put one foot in front of the other... you have to push yourself....life is not to be feared, its to be enjoyed and loved.... I am sorry you feel so bad... hang on!!!

I just wish I had someone who really truly loved me so much unconditionally and hugged me and comforted me and understood me and made me feel safe and made me feel everything is going to be ok

I was that girl who always dreamed of finding love, a romantic, fairy tale

what I got was an evil monster posing as a prince

I have the most incredible unbelieveably adorable and amazing kids anyone would dream of and that is why I am in so much torturous pain because I just want to be the perfect mother to them

I cannot stop grieving for my days of youth because I know I will never feel that good again and it is killing me

I bet your children really love you ((((((((((((((feary)))))))))))))) and to them you are wonderful

I don't want to die and leave this beautiful life and world

I hate how I lived my life

there is so much I would have done differently

so many regrets