just need someone to listen

having a horrible day, horrible week in fact. i'mtrying to keep it together and its hurting me so much that the people in my life don't care enough about me to even be sensitive. My husband is having a hard time with me lately. he has more responsibilities at work and he can not have me calling every time i have a panic attack. called my mom hoping for some understanding and she tells me how i shouldn't discus my "little problems" with him because eventually he's going to leave me. then theres the other few people in my life who find it necessary to warn me of all the other things i should worry about to, like that he might try to take full custody of my children and all this other nonsense like i'm not upset enough. what is wrong with people? why do they feel the need to kick you when you're already down? i have been trying so hard to get myself together lately but the people around me don't give a crap. they figure why not throw a few more burdens on my shoulders. just needed to vent because, as you see, i can't call anyone.

{{{{{greenfairy}}}}} Sorry you are having so much added by those in your life, to what seems to be alot already. =(

((((greenfairy))))
Geez, that's awful. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Do you have a therapist you can call? Just wondering. It's good that you are posting here. That's what these forums are here for. We understand, and we'll do all we can to help you. Try to do something nice for yourself today.. even if it's something small. I'm thinking of you. You can feel free to PM me anytime you need to bend an ear. I'll be more than happy to talk to you.

Love, Jenn

Aw. I can't really say I know how you feel I'm afraid but I can imagine it and it doesn't seem like much fun. *Hands you a lollipop* (Honestly I know it seems silly bit lollipops calm me down when I'm really upset, so get a few next time you go shopping or whatever. ^^)

Now, it's not true to say you have no one. You posted here, so you have someone. And a therepist is a good idea. If you have a good one than they will be there for you if you need it. They'll be glad to help.
I don't think I was much help but heck I could try couldn't I?

Love Jen

thanks for the support. i know that there are people here to listen, its just that i seem to be incapable of any real relationships. every time i meet someone i even remotely care about i just want them to go away. i can't even explain it. its like i've been broken so many times and i've had to put myself back together so many times and there are all these pieces missing and i feel like if i fall again i will break to the point that there just won't be anything left of me, and i can't have that happen. i have two children that i'm trying so hard to be strong for and normal for and the people around me just don't get how hard it is. i'm tired, and it seems like everyone is always asking something of me, where are you going and what are you doing and what do you want and i just want to say i'm just here and i'm doing my best to get through the damn day so why isn't that enough. why can't my best just be good enough?

so todays lesson: one panic attack or seven, they can't seem to actually kill you, but they do give you the capacity to drive everyone around you crazy. thanks for the pms and for being an ear. someone i care deeply about threw me into a tailspin last week from which i am having quite a bit of trouble recovering. don't know if thats what loves suppose to be like but OUCH. so here i am heart a-racing but grateful i didn't have to deal with my big bundle of troubles alone.

Glad to hear we helped in anyway...that's what we are here for--free give and take as needed. =)