Husband just got suspended from his job

Thanks -- I'm home now and while he was obviously deeply depressed all day, he seems a little better than he was last night.

This is awful in general, though. I'm forseeing another two years of hell

And I'm trying to get pregnant right now. This is horrible timing. Especially since I don't want to take anti-anxiety meds at this point, but my blood pressure is screaming for Lexapro...

Thanks -- I'm home now and while he was obviously deeply depressed all day, he seems a little better than he was last night.

This is awful in general, though. I'm forseeing another two years of hell

And I'm trying to get pregnant right now. This is horrible timing. Especially since I don't want to take anti-anxiety meds at this point, but my blood pressure is screaming for Lexapro...

(((((((((((((LMo family)))))))))))

Having been on your H's end of a job ultimatum, don't push him to get out and be productive right away. He could be feeling that no one is going to hire him right now. I know I did.

From what you've said about his boss this last year, I'd say he's the one with the problem, more than your H. His boss has been all wishy-washy and indecisive, plus he has bad spelling and grammar.

hahhhhhhahhshhaahhahhaah!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Wi_fi!!!! And you're 10000% right on everything you've said!

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i'm sorry, LMo....try to wait it out and it may get better. xoxoxo from myself and Fayeroe.......xoxo pat

I am sorry.... I hope that things do get better soon (((((((( LMo ))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((((LMo))))))))))))))))))))))))

you and hubby, both, are in my thoughts.

KD

Hi LMo. I hope things get better soon.

I don't know what kind of job he had, but I know some people in retail management jobs and those are killers for hours required and such.

My husband has a relatively low stress job as a night custodian. He is very happy with it and I am proud of him too. I hope your husband finds a better fit. (((lMo)))

LMo,

Sorry about how things are going. Sending good thoughts your way.

Sorry about my unhelpful post. I shouldn't just jump in like that.

omg - CMS - your post was great. Thank you for sharing your story and for your support of both me and my H.

I hope hubby finds meaningful work quickly. I have been spending some time volunteering and it has helped a lot. I wonder if he can find something he likes to do on a volunteer basis till he finds a job.

Thanks, wisewoman. He's doing much better today. We had a long T session last night and I think he was just having a down day. He's back to feeling as though this might have been a blessing in disguise, and he's still excited about starting a new business. I panicked a bit prematurely, and we talked about that in therapy. In a way, I could not have picked a more appropriate forum for this post. My anxiety about his potential re-entry into depression borders along PTSD, according to my T. I mean, he just got suspended from his job for 3 weeks and it certainly does appear that he's being forced out. Who WOULDN'T be defensive and stressed out about it? So he had a bad night and one bad day -- overall, he's been incredibly cheerful and positive throughout this past week, so perhaps I shouldn't have panicked so quickly.

Thank you ALL for your support and kindness. I'm learning so much about myself. If you had told me three years ago that I have some issues with anxiety, I would not have a clue what you meant. I didn't know how to pinpoint my feelings. Thanks again, everyone. You guys are the best.

Checking back in with you. SO great to see things are on an upswing now and wonderful you all had a T. session!

{{{{{{{LMo and Mr.}}}}}}}

update; Boss had offered 3 days/week for less money and no insurance. H accepted.

So he went into work this morning and boss said that the new schedule isn't working, so he was letting H go.

omg. this bites.

Oh for crying out loud. What is up with his boss? I really hope something good comes out of all of this runaround. Boss sounds totally incompetent.

I couldn't have said it better myself -- "OMG, this bites!"

Good grief.

I have had some crappy bosses in my lifetime, to say the least, but none quite this crappy!

I hope things work out quickly in hubby's favor. Right now I have $20 to my name and the check I was supposed to get for a freelance piece on April 1 hasn't shown up yet -- because my company got bought out and they haven't switched over the accounting stuff yet.

Sigh. I just know I was supposed to be independently wealthy! And you and Mr. LMo too.

Hang in there -- good luck.

Candy

LMo, this man sounds like a basket case! good grief! in the long run, i believe that Shane will be better off without that kind of irrational behavior hanging over his head. but, i know it won't help much now. i send you and Shane big hugs....xoxoxo pat

LMo, I feel for you, and H too. I hope that he is able to find something better and an employer who appreciates him. I butted heads with one of my employers last fall because I felt that with a relevant degree and experience I was worth more than $6 an hour and should be considered for promotions that kept going to really young kids who didn't question things. They told me I ought to find another job, and what I'm doing now is better. I'm glad I didn't take the secretary job they offered me. I guess my point is sometimes we have to be pushed in order to find a better situation, and it can be painful and stressful and not fun at all, but there's something better out there.

Rap

Ok, this so-called "boss" has some real issues here.

Repeating what one of my profs said in college "I'm not concerned about the people who are getting help; I'm worried about the people driving up and down the highway thinking they're ok."

My love and support to you both...regardless of it being a potential blessing in disguise, that behavior from the "boss" still stings!

{{{{{{LMo & H}}}}}}}}

So how is hubby holding up?

Thanks guys - sorry I couldn't respond earlier. I don't have internet access during the day and I screwed up my internet access at home. Fixed now, and today is a holiday.

He seems to be doing ok. He's been more productive than I've EVER seen him (could be the strattera?) and has been hard at work building a new fence for us. However, he hasn't filed for unemployment or to my knowledge, looked for a new job or worked on his business plan this week. So far, I haven't said a word about it but internally, it's chewing me up. I made a decision this week to go back onto meds so that I don't stress BOTH of us out. Obviously, the pregnancy thing isn't a good idea at this time with him out of a job, but just as a precaution, I'm starting on Welbutrin rather than Lexapro (Welbutrin is classed as "safer" than Lexapro for pregnancy). I didn't want to take anything but I just don't know if I can handle this on my own right now. The timing is awful.

I can understand if my H just wasn't the ideal employee for his boss's shop. That's ok - not everyone works out. But what PISSES me off is that at least as much as I've heard, my H never got any feedback indicating that he was in poor standing. Is this really about the schedule change? I mean, wouldn't any employer who valued his employee try to accomodate personal schedules rather than fire someone that they felt did a good job? What is going on?

And what's worse is that in the almost 2 years that my H has been working there, he hasn't done anything to make himself more marketable. He's still in the same boat he was in while he was depressed and anxious because he didn't have any marketable skills. I've been nervous about that for the past 2 years, trying to encourage him to take some college classes or join some professional organizations to network, but he hasn't and now he's 2 years older but no more marketable than before. He knows it and that's why he was depressed in the first place... and I was so hoping that he would make sure that he wasn't going to be in that position again and now here he is.

See why I need something for anxiety? If I voiced even 1/8 of what I was thinking to him, I would drive him to drink

voice it to us and i'll drink for him. i know the feeling about the schooling such. i could kick myself for not going til now. he'll pull through though and so will you. i have a world of faith in you.

xoxoxo pat

Here is my next dilemma. What should I do?

It's 2:30 on Friday. He was fired on Tuesday. He has not applied for uninsurance yet. It's only going to give us something like $100 a week, but it's better than nothing. I'm concerned that if he doesn't apply today, then it's going to reflect badly on his application for when he DOES apply. Will it?

He's currently sleeping on the couch. I don't know if he's just really tired from the physical labor (and the emotional stress) he did this week or if he's retreating. But the fact is that he hasn't applied for unemployment yet.

So what do I do? Do I:
a) do my best to keep my trap shut and find way to deal with the panic I'm feeling right now, or
b) go wake him up and explain my concern?

If we weren't married, I'd say this is none of my business. But I'm affected by this, too.

Advice appreciated. For now, I'm just getting my own work done and am not hovering over him.

I vote for Plan B. Good luck!