anxiety back again, with a new symptom!!!

Hey everyone,

I just want to get this out, hehe... probably be extremely boring but anyway....

A Few people know my story around here... for those of you who are interested, briefly, I started having panic attacks when I was on a jury for a horrible case.... and developed GAD after that... it has only been about three months, so its not really a disorder at this point, by my feelings and experiences all point to GAD. I dont have panic attacks at all anymore, just persistant thoughts of going crazy, and am in a pretty anxious state all the time....

at the beginning, was on prozac and valium.. got off them, because I hate meds, and they made me really really out of it... worse than I feel normally, hehe....

So anyway.. recently, I have gone off the deep end again, all of a sudden I lost the plot and have been really bad for the past few days.... before this was doing so well, almost anxiety free. Saw my psychiatrist and she has told me I need medication again, so am now on Lexapro... really didnt want to do it, but she insisted It to keep the anxiety symptoms under control.... so not happy about that........ have also had my psycholohgist appointments cancelled because when i come home from them, I am way way worse for days... have no idea why...

Anyway... I am really worried about a new thing i have been experiencing.... I count everything in my head all the time, or a song will go around in my head... if I am walking I count steps etc.... but the weird thing is that with OCD, from what I know, most people act out the thought, like they have to do something a number of times to feel ok... i dont have any of that at all... I never feel the need to do anything a certain number of times... this is really scaring me, I dont want to have OCD on top of anxiety....

Before all this anxiety stuff happened I kinda did it anyway, wasnt ever a problem.... I was thinking, maybe I am still the same, like this isnt something new, but because of my anxiety I am just making it more that it really is?? Does anyone think that could be it? I have no idea, and I dont really want to tell anyone bout it, psychiatrist etc....

One more question hehe.... does anyone always feel out of it? like the world is going on, but u arent really there, u try to feel like u are, but u just cant, like a cloud or a brick wall always there.... hard to explain.. almost like a cloudy feeling constantly....

That was probably extremely boring and irrelevent, hehe... but anyway.. if anyone has any ideas or they do this themselves, could you please tell me I am not crazy!!

Thanks

Kel

Kel, Alot of it sounds familiar too me. One thing I found with the pdoc appointments is sometimes the more work you do during the more exhausting and down you can feel afterwards. It is alot to deal with during the appointment it can leave you with alot of thoughts after. If you did not feel something afterwards then I would say you would not need it. I too hate taking meds and have to really force myself too. But I know if I don't in the long run it will effect me.
I think you should talk to your doc about the "out of it feeling" and the number and song thing in your head. I have OCD but with my Bipolar those are some of the things I was feeling......Not saying you are but it is something worth checking out. I hope you reschedule your appointments hon.
HUGS
Cher

Thanks Cher,

I don't know what to do about the therapy... I am still going to see my psychiatrist every fortnight... but it was just so weird, I would be so nervous to see my therapist it was past the point of just feeling anxious to talk about it, I was a wreck days befoe I was due to see her. And then after, I would always come home to an empty house, and it would all just come back and I couldn't contol it... I am so confused whether I should have persevered with it maybe, or maybe it really is making me worse... stirring things up that maybe I am over...

This counting thing is really freaking me out.... will tell me psychiatrist, scared to say it though for some reason... have only told my friend and b/f about it and they say that they think it isn't something to be too worried about at this stage, and they too do it to some extent... but if I keep doing it, I will do something about it....

Took my first Lexapro today, hmmmm, lol... I have the WORST headache! don't know whether it is because of the meds but it is killing me.... not sure if I can take pain killers with them.... leaflet says that some medications interfere with lexapro....

ah well, see how it goes....

Thanks Cher,

Kel

Hi Kellarella,
I got a question for you and I ask this because it's something I've noticed about myself-
do you feel anxious after not getting a good night's sleep?
I notice that when I don't get a good night's rest, the next day I get kind of out of it, as you wrote, dizzy and a little anxious over stupid things like red lights whereas when I get a good nights rest, I'm fine with no anxiety.
If you're taking any kind of sleeping pill-that could do it, too.
I just thought you might want to investigate this. I'm curious if anyone has noticed the same thing.
Hope you feel better soon.

Firstly, I suspect the counting thing is a way of forcing your mind not to think about what is making you anxious. I like to sing when I start to worry because I can't worry and sing. I would be carefull with the coping technique. But, I really think that is probably why you count things or something like that.
As for the therapy thing, I have noticed that talking about something that really troubles me can make me think about it more and make me feel worse. I suspect that you may have opened a can of anxiety in therapy.
I would certainly suggest talking with someone who knows your situation (psychologist/Pdoc whatever). I hope you can stick with it and get better.
Jax: I have been having trouble sleeping for 6 months. The worse I sleep the worse my worrying thing gets. So, my experience is similar to your situation.

everything that i do has to be in odd numbers. i start looking for my car keys about one hours before i need to go anywhere. my purse has to be arranged correctly. my money has to face the same way....i guess i have ocd.......but i'm bipolarII and those symptoms are eating my lunch...so i just go with my weird %#@&#! and hope that i can manage the bipolarII and live. hope it helps to know that others have stuff that confounds us...xoxoxo pat

Hi all

I have always 'counted'. I count everything and anything. But it doesn't interfere with my life, as I seem to do it subconsciously during the day when I'm busy or thinking or working.

When I am in bed I purposely think of other houses I've lived in and go around in my mind's eye counting the window panes, railings or door panels etc. It's more interesting than counting sheep!

I hope this helps.

FG

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Kellarella said:
Hey everyone,

One more question hehe.... does anyone always feel out of it? like the world is going on, but u arent really there, u try to feel like u are, but u just cant, like a cloud or a brick wall always there.... hard to explain.. almost like a cloudy feeling constantly....

(please tell me)...I am not crazy!!

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Hi, Kel!

No, you're not crazy.

Is it possible that Lexapro could be causing this new symptom? That is something I'd personally research and ask your Dr. about.

As for the feeling out of it...oh yeah!! When I'm in a major depression, that's exactly how I feel.

I've been watching anything on TV that will make me laugh. Last week I was watching "America's Funniest Home Videos" which usually has me in stitches laughing so hard. Last week...nothing I saw on it made me laugh, which really concerned me.

This week I was back to laughing at most of the videos.

I must be getting better.

*EDIT* I just reread your post and saw that you began the counting before going on the Lexapro, so forget my theory.

It sounds like a lot of people who are not diagnosed OCD have some sort of the counting thing. I tend to check my door a few times after I lock it and have to look in my purse multiple times to make sure my keys are in it before I lock my car door.

I knew a girl years ago who would add up phone numbers on her calculator.

I agree with Cherry - be open with your pdoc. I know it can be hard, but they've heard most everything and can pinpoint things that are causing symptoms, etc.