Socially anxious & isolated

I'm having serious issues leaving my house lately, I get anxious making phone calls and going to the store. I live alone, so the isolation gets to me, I feel like my situation is hopeless, it's only gotten worse as I've gotten older, I'm 25 now, and I don't have a relationship, I don't hang out with friends on a regular basis, it's really depressing me.

I do go to work everyday and I can chat with co-workers even though it makes me a bit anxious, but I come home from work everyday to my house and it's really uncomfortable feeling so isolated. I do try to workout when I can. That is pretty much my life.

Is anyone else here in a similiar position? Or anyone with social anxiety that has lived alone...any advice on how to cope? I wish there was some sort of support group near me, but I doubt there are a lot of social anxiety support groups...probably hard to get people to show up.

Take care.

Yes there are anxiety groups out there & I don`t know if you`ve tried any form of therapy yet but there are people out there who are willing to help & understand. Have you seen a doctor? Getting better is done with baby steps so don`t be hard on yourself .HUGS

I woul strongly urge getting a pet or two or three.
Animals can bring a great deal of joy and meaning into your life.
Not to mention walking a dog is a great way to meet people!

I have two cats, they do help with my depression because I have to take care of them, which takes up some of my time...but they don't do much for conversation.

If I did have to walk a dog, I think I'd probably have issues...I get nervous going outside to get my mail because I really don't want to talk to my neighbors. It's not that I don't like people, but I get so anxious talking to people, I do everything I can to avoid them.

I just don't know why I'm like this. Some of it has to do with feeling self-conscious about the way I look, some of it has to do with being afraid of what people will think. Logically I know it doesn't matter what people think, but it's hard not to.

I have the same problem....I work..but drive straight to work and back...I can go out in my yard because it has a big stockaid fence around it...but that is it...I can't even go to the grocery store...I am married and this problem developed over the past few years and got to the point I am now...sometimes I take days off of work also because I just can't make myself go out...I am lucky my husband will go shopping for food and anything else i need I order off the computer...How do you manage? do you have someone to shop for you?

I take days off of work as well because I feel too bad about myself to face co-workers....it's gotten worse since they promoted me (which should be a good thing), but now I have more responsibility...I have to ask more questions and answer more phone calls (which is horrible for me). I try not to call in sick, but I just get overwhelmed.

As for shopping...it is difficult for me, but I manage. I sometimes go to the store, circle the parking lot, and end up leaving because I get nervous. I try to make short trips and I like to go to places that have "u scan" lanes, so I don't have to talk to a cashier...I feel like a crazy person because I can't even do simple things like that.

I'm pretty good at pushing myself to do things...but I get nervous making appointment over the phone as well. Sometimes I get my parents to do it for me, but I really need to go to the eye doctor, and it's so hard to make that phone call.

Bethsway, you're lucky you have someone that loves you enough to help you out like that! I'm so shy, I don't think I will ever meet anyone who accept me, not to mention guys completely ignore me for the most part.

well I met my husband 25 years ago...before my problems got this bad...I was lucky then yes...but as far as guys ignoring you...that is only because you avoid people now...I hope you get better so that you can be in an environment where you can meet someone...also friends help in that area sometimes...

I am surprised to find that I understand what you are going through. I am not to the point where you are and I pray I can keep it from getting any worse than it is.

I have always been a very outgoing person, always talking to people,making my living at being a manager in the customer service field of some kind.Partly because I was always a people pleaser and emapthic to others, it came easy to me.

Not anymore. I am now to the point where, I too often go make several small trips to the grocery so I can use to self scan.

I talk to my friend of 27 years daily and I go to therapy once a week although it is something I have to force upon myself. I take the most scenic drive possible there and back to help ease the stress the anxiety causes.

I have disabling medical conitions that I don't even talk openly with to my doctor because I am afraid to.I can't bring myself to even call and make an appoinment, or I cancel the one I might make.

I do not live alone , but I do spend alot of time alone with my dog and and the cat if she graces me with her prescence.We used to go out to eat alot and I can't hardly stand to go anymore because I don't like to have to give my order, and I feel anxious in crowds.

I have wondered if this is how ladies end up having a man give their orders for them.I have been guilty of going to the bathroom before the waitress gets there, leaving instructions as to what I want so I don't have to do the talking.

For me too it is the attention I can't stand. I don't want to be looked at, listened to, spoken to,seen at all. I would prefer to be invisible. I don't work and I have dialup so if i am online I cannot get calls and I have found myself leaving it hooked up for that reason alot.

I have been dealing with a great deal of repressed memories and have ptsd too and I feel like it could be possibly be that causing all this... the anxiety I mean.. the agoraphobia-type symptoms. The more I face in therapy, the more likely i am to feel too anxious to go out anywhere.

And then with my physical pain and fatigue I often feel so in adequate and useless, that I just prefer to stay home alone with the shades drawn. I don't sit around and cry or anything like that.. not too much anyway.

I didn't meant to make this about me. I feel like the more I type, the more messed up i sound. I don't guess I can be of much help to ya hun, but I wish I could.

I keep trying to make it a habit of doing light yoga for a bad back, which also helps to releive stress and anxiety.And I practice visualization that I learned in therapy. It seems to be helpful too, although i have to practice it so that if i have a bad panic attack, I am able to do the visualization.

I close my eyes and breath deep and slow, I let my mind see myself as a white she-wolf and the mountain ridge...strong and free.. I sometimes can imagine the feel of the wind blowing across my soft coat... and I imagine I can smell the fresh breeze.

Maybe this is something you can try when you find yourself needing to drive around the parking lot... go park it and do see yourself somewhere else.. at the beach alone.. a deserted island or something... and breath slow and deep. It might help ease you just enough tot go in the store.. baby steps...

Good Luck!

thanks for the tip on the white she wolf...I like that...lol...anyhow...I am now taking clonazepam and went out to a cookout to my daughters sunday for the first time in a long time...the pills do help...My problem came on slowly over the past few years...something happened to me to trigger it and then I kept getting flashbacks of things that happened many many years ago...brought it all back...we have to be here for each other...maybe we can all help one another to get over this....

((((Amelie))))
I feel that way if I don't get enough sleep. I feel a lot better when I've gotten a full nights rest-I feel more confident and secure. But even with sleep I'm not socializing as much as I should. But when I do, I socialize a lot better.
Has anyone else noticed if you feel worst when you don't get enough sleep then as you do when you've gotten a full nights rest without sleeping pills? I'm curious if anyone has noticed this.

Jax the best sleep for me is a natural sleep...but...I haven't had that in a while now...the next best sleep is with clonazepam...before bed...and when I don't get sleep...I am not worth much at all...

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For me too it is the attention I can't stand. I don't want to be looked at, listened to, spoken to,seen at all. I would prefer to be invisible.

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Hi Faith, I feel the same way, for me I know it's because I don't like myself. I hate even saying it, but I really don't like the way I look, so I'd rather not draw attention to myself. I just feel ashamed of not looking good enough.

I've always been a quiet person, but you say you were outgoing. It sounds like therapy is having a negative effect on you. If you were well adjusted and outgoing before, what made you go to therapy? Perhaps it was better to leave your past behind you instead of rehashing painful experiences? I suppose that is something you must have thought about, and I'm sure some people are helped by talking about past experiences, but the more you talk about the past, the more it comes to the surface, which can be detrimental (at least in my opinion). My theory is that the more shame we feel about ourselves, the more closed off we become. I really don't know your situation, but if you have repressed memories, you were unconsciously saving yourself from feeling pain by blocking out some of your past...since these memories have surfaced, perhaps you're unconsciously blaming yourself for what happened to you, which might lead to self-hatred?

I know I don't like a lot of things about myself, I don't think I'm smart enough, pretty enough, social enough...I don't know what caused me to hate myself, but I know I do, and I know that leads me to avoid people. It's a defense mechanism, I don't want to let people know me because I don't feel like I'm worth their concern. And let me tell you, the more I relive painful events, the more closed off I become.

Jax, I feel like sleeping aids can be really addictive. I took Ambien for over a year and I couldn't sleep without it. I would take it all the time because I was depressed and didn't want to do anything but sleep. It also had adverse side effects, if I took it and stayed awake, it had a psychedelic effect...inanimate objects appeared to move. Also, the longer I took it, the more pills I needed to get the desired effect. I'd highly recommend not starting prescription sleep aids, I had a horrible time stopping them.

Hi Bethsway and Amilie,
I meant, sleep without the sleeping pills. I don't like using sleeping pills.
No, I would never try prescription sleeping pills unless there was no other way for me to get to sleep with out them.
I think it's a little funny that I feel more anxious without sleep 'cause I would think it would be the opposite. You know? Being all sleepy and tired you might think you wouldn't have the energy to be anxious.