[joyl]

Hi,

Just diagnosed with Bipolar, Agoraphobia w/ panic disorder. because symptoms of tightness in chest, racing heart, sweating, nausea & vomiting made it difficult to even get to work, I quit my job. Things got really bad and Family dr suggested psychiatrist. I can go out for short periods of time if a family member is with me but when I'm ready to come home, I will leave. If I have panic attack dr said take the xanax, but if I'm driving I can't because it makes me sleepy, dizzy & disoriented. so I'd rather stay home but the phone rings, knock at door, or even hearing car door and I lose it. Can't go outside if I see any neighbors for same reason. Xanax works good but I sleep after taking it.
Thanks for just 'listening' there's no one else who understands. family says just get out there and i'll be fine but myself shows me I can't...not yet...maybe not at all. Thanks.
joyl

[endless_hysteria]

i know just what you are going through! back in april i could no longer go to work, leave the house, i was having regular panic attacks, only valium seems to help. i couldn't open the curtains through fear of anyone seeing me, answer the phone, etc,etc. i haven't been back to work since and have been thinking of handing in my notice. things got much worse two months ago when i found out i was pregnant and i'm having to come off all my medication. i'm seeing a consultant psychiatrist for 15 min/once a month. i tried to go private but they refused saying i was long term and they were only seeing short term.
i just don't know what to do!
Sammy

[Bethsway]

I know exactly what you are feeling....I can't even go to the grocery store anymore....I don't go out except to work and I don't know how much longer I can do it...I don't look at anyone on the way to work or on the way home...I get home and stay inside the rest of the time...I hate the curtains open becaue afraid someone might see me...anyhow, I know what you are feeling is real to you...and I send you my (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))...Hopefully, it will just take time before these feelings go away...with the help of meds and doctor....

[tracylee]

I understand totally!! I have been the same for over two years!! I have spoken to my pdoc and nurse about this and nothing seems to be addressed about this. I even do my shopping on line and have it delivered. But I dont answer the door or the phone!! Its awful really, I have become the total opposite of what I used to be. I even used to go to a coffee shop or somewhere I could people watch, now I just watch tv or play with my animals............

They can put a man on the moon.............

I know exactly how you feel, believe me, I do. Good luck.

[joyl]

Glad to be able to share and not be judge and to know I'm not the only one who is afraid of out there!
thanks

I also have bp with anxiety (they go together quite a lot) & have physical symptoms like you were writing about--the chest pains, upset stomach, "buzzing" in my head, not able to concentrate, etc. I also feel it much more when I have to leave the house or talk on the phone. I have Xanax but don't take it during the day due to the sleepiness it causes.

I find if I make myself do things outside the home, the symptoms start to die down. Yesterday I went out & found that if I am concentrating on something else the symptoms diminish. When I focus on them, they seem to flare up worse.

So I'm making myself leave the house once a day. Right now I'm getting ready to grocery shop & my mouth is dry, I feel like I'm on alert mode--ready to do something huge but it's just going to the store. My reactions often are not in line with what the situation is. I overreact & feel things too strongly. But I am proud of myself when I can overcome the physical sensations.--Suzy

[Perna]

Way to go, Suzy! I make myself do things when I'm anxious too. Given the choice between feeling horrible and being "trapped" inside my house and still not feeling good, I go out.

[froggie2]

I just have been going through this again this week. Its beautiful outside and warm and I don't go out. If someone is here no problem and if I have been outside regular again no problem but after being inside for awhile (depression) its hard again. When it goes on too long I call somseone to come visit to go for a walk. But I have to phone first. Hard at those times. Having dogs forces me but sometimes i feel like I need a huge push.

[wantslove]

I didnt know that some of this stuff you guys describe is not normal. I have been experiancing alot of what you all mentioned my whole life. I am afraid to be seen, to have people look at me, and making a simple phone call requires courage, I just hate having awckward momments, and fear someone will get angry at me.
How does someone hold down a job with this? and what is an ideal job for someone who has anxiety?

[jackeev75]

I know what you're talking about. I'm still going through it in fact. I have barely left my house in about 6 months, hardly ever speak on the phone and when I do any of these things I feel like and am afraid I'll die. I was just put on Klonopin and Lexapro though and I'm feeling a little better.

...sigh... those who aren't experiencing it don't understand. it does sound simple, but it isn't!

you might try taking less than the full does of Xanax.. you can take half or even a quarter of one and let it dissolve in your mouth..it's bitter but doesn't last long..chew gum after.
sometimes that little bit will bring the anxiety back down enough to make you feel better and calmer.

I hope this helps!

[Enigmatik]

what are everyones jobs with panic disorder with agoraphobia, or just panic or just agoraphobia? im deemed unable to work due to having these and im curious what i can do when i feel better

[Soidhonia]

Hello I hope things get better for you. In time the medication will hopefully get adjusted, and you will feel better. You may be Hypoglycemic I am hypoglycemic and I have to be careful because I get depressed, when my blood sugar gets low.. There is a diet on the American Diabetic association. for meal planning that ,may help the paranoia. I hope things get better for you soon. Take care Soidhonia

[AlteredState01]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
family says just get out there and i'll be fine

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">





That's how I feel when I hear that, too.

that we always seem to have to deal with this issue, over and over.

Altered State

I work part-time in the billing dept. at a health club. I can do it on my own hours so I usually go in when not many people are around & I work in a room all by myself with the computer. It is lonely, but I don't have to deal with very many people or talk on the phone, both hard for me to do. But I have found great help through support groups. Yesterday I went to a play with 6 members of my support group. It made me safe to be out in public with them.--Suzy

[Yack]

Hi,

I know how you feel...at one point I was totally unsure of what to do because I was having panic attacks in the car but I could not take the medication because it would make me too dizzy and sleepy to drive...

Have you tried to work with someone to slowly learn how to get out of the house again? I know that I felt better when I had a cell phone with me...but it's different for everyone.

I know that I had to make a plan...for example, decide that I was going to go to a certain store and buy something...and I kept doing that until I could do other things...

[skystar]

hi their,i suffer from bipolar,i have struggled going out of the house,its frustrating,and emotional,it started about 11 years ago,i just keep fighting it every day, little steps,most of the time in the past ive felt totally overwhelmed by what has been happening to me,and i know theres alot of other people out there that have to put up with this to.for me i just have to keep fighting it and i have my good and bad days still,its tough but be strong,bless you for being so brave and talking about it. not many people can even do that,look after yourself.

[skittles]

i know how u feel..... i have a modd disorder which they think is bipolar II, panic disorder, and agoraphobia. i used to get panic attacks when i drove... it was horrible i almost passed out one time driving.... they gave me lexapro for it.... it helps me and doesnt meake me tired and alot of meds do.. maybe they could try that on you never know it might work.......

[mooby]

I'm glad I've found a place where people will understand me.
I'm terrified of leaving the house on my own. I often feel nauseous, dizzy and disorientated when I do go outside and my hands shake. I panic whenever I even just think about leaving the house.
I've managed to go out on a few short walks on my own which last only about 5 minutes. As soon as I get in I just cry, most times until I fall asleep.
I can't stand to be in busy places with lots of people around me. If I go into a crowded shop I feel so disorientated and I can't focus on anything. My legs start to feel weak, like they can't hold me up much longer, and I can't think of anything other than getting out of there.

I'm scared of falling over in public. I panic and worry about what would happen if I did fall over. I can't stop myself from worrying about whether people will laugh at me or will they just ignore me. Will anyone help me if I do fall? I'm also scared that people will steal my things if I did pass out in the street.

I'm out of work right now and the only thing I want is to be able to get a job.
A lot of the time it makes me feel like such a failure. I feel like my partner will leave me, even though he's been so patient and supportive. I couldn't ask for anything more but sometimes I don't think he understands how hard it is for me just to leave the house.
My next step is trying to get to the doctor to see what help I can get.

Thank you to everyone for posting how it affects them. You are all very brave for trying to overcome this and I wish you all the best of luck.

[tabby]

i am going through this exact thing right now. ever since thanksgiving the only thing ive gone out for is doc appts & to go to the store with hubby. the other day i wanted something from the store & i took half the day for me to work up the courage to go. i feel so paranoid, anxious, afraid, upset, seized with fear.. i feel like if i go out of the house everyone is looking at me. before this spell started i had been doing my walks/jogs almost everyday since august. i was losing weight & feeling so good & i was even going to see my grandma & going out to store with mom & grandma. this is so paralyzing i cant stand it! tomorrow i go to my therapist & im gonna tell him all about it. thank the Lord my appt is tomorrow cuz i leave with my husband when he goes to work, go to my dads in the city, & my dad takes me to my appt & i hang out til hubby gets off work. im gonna use this as an opportunity to get out of this horrible cycle. im gaining back weight i lost while walking & jogging cuz im also a compulsive overeater & im not getting any exercise. I hear that bit also about take a walk, get out & do "SOMEthing", go sit in the yard.....etc. my husband says this stuff & my mom takes it personally that i dont go anywhere with her & i dont come up & see them. they are the next street up--this is how bad it is. of course my mother in law lives next door & i dont go over there either. i open the curtain on my 2 doors in my apt & i peep out. it just took everything i had to walk out in the yard & get my klonopin from mother in law which someone keeps them for me cuz im an addict & recovering alky & if I have them ill abuse them. im glad i found this place cuz atleast i can type out what im thinking. i envy all of u who get sleepy on xanax & stuff. i get so wired up all my klonopin does is make me feel a little calmer. doc wont increase dose cuz he knows im an addict & matter of fact hes weaning me off of them right now cuz of when i abused them. i think thats whats thrown me into this paranoid mania. any replies would help & it helps me to read others replies & i know im not crazy or alone.

[Taipans]

Wow, Tabby, this was an onset that just exploded all of a sudden on you? I'm very sorry to hear about it. I live what your saying every day. Going to the store, pumping gas, leaving my house, and so on are tasks that I have to get the courage up to do. Sometimes I will run my tank to the peg just in pure Anxiety of stopping and getting gas. I look out all my windows to make sure no neighbors are outside and quickly get the mail. I have been under treatment for this since around 1999, and have gotten better. But its still such a horrible trapped feeling. And I'm still not to the point where I feel I could be, but even with doctors, medications, family support and excercises nothing has gotten me to a more normal comfort level.

I wonder if your onset has anything to do with harmonal or thyroidal problems that all of a sudden kicked in?

Well whatever it is, I wish you all the best in fighting this back. As most of us here suffer from Anxiety we know how you feel.

-Mark

[tabby]

i called my doc the other day & they called me in some vistaril which i can tell helps a little but not like the benzos. im glad u replied to my post. actually my last family doc appt showed low thyroid levels & my next appt with him is on the 29th. i dont know. i just feel like im about to go crazy. im also gonna try to get my klonopin back from him when i go to him. i felt so much better when i took those. i felt relaxed thru the day & slept good at night. if this lasts much longer im gonna request to be put in the hospital in ip. im sick of people sayin get out & do this or that &youll feel better. well my grandma basically forced me to go to the dollar store with her yesterday & it didnt help anything. all i could think about the whole time was gettin back home. i didnt freak out or anything but checkin out at the store i started to get really sweaty & nauseous. i was so glad to finally get home. im sorry to ramble i just dont know what to do.

[Taipans]

I take Clozepam / Konopin also for my anxiety and it does indeed help. Doc had me gradually going up on Lamactil atm too to try and help more.

I know exactly what you saying about the comments people say. "Just suck it up and go out, push yourself to get out and do things" Like its just going to eventually go away and its all in your head. Its such BS and a pain in the *** when people throw that at you. If you dont have anxiety, or any mental disorder for that matter I dont want to hear your opinion. I mean I wouldnt argue with Einstein about his theory of relativity. Why must they argue, comment, and otherwise tell his "how" to get through things they know absolutely nothing about.

Anyways now I'm being negative... lol, I hope the meds help calm your anxiety down, and your family and friends stop trying to be Psychologists/Pschiatrists like most of mine.

Mark