[jlove973]

Everyone in my family has said to me for years now: You are always freaking out. You make us nervous and since you are that way your daughter is becoming that way. I agree with them 100% my Anxiety is always going, going, going through the rough. I have panic attack moments. My mind races and I am unable to deal with it. Lately I have been trying to calm down and it just flat out doesn't work. My boyfriend says that I worry about everything(true) and I panic over the littlest things(true). My T says it's part of having Anxiety/ADHD and a list of other disorders.Well DUH!!!

Will it ever go away. I know it won't. How can I deal? I am typing this and my heart is racing a mile a minute. My boyfriend says if I don't relax I may have a heart attack. Which runs in my family. Him my daughter don't want to see me die. He want's to be with me forever. I have tried groups and relaxsation therapy, but nothing has worked. I hate feeling like this. My life has been pure Anxiousness since I can remember.
I can't believe that I am opening up here I have held in everything since I have been here and it feels good to let it out to my PC family.

[Perna]

Have you been in therapy at all, tried any meds to help? Therapy was my lifesaver from my anxiety. Took many years and I'm still ditzy and forget stuff (go blank) and get anxious when presented suddenly with new things, etc. but I can right myself pretty quickly and work on whatever is facing me, realize the sky is not falling or likely to today :-) Both my therapist's and husband's support and laid-backness helped me enormously. That's how I learned the sky was not falling, realizing my therapist never seemed anxious so either she was crazy or the sky was not actually going to fall like it seemed to me. I went with the sky not falling :-) But my husband is very "solid" and his calmness helps me when I'm in a dither and confused. Giver yourself time outs and think of solid things like your boyfriend and daughter (and go hug a tree :-) when you're anxious, that helps me. If you're worried about your daughter becoming anxious, find her some solid relatives/friends/activities away from you so she gets a balanced "view"?

[jlove973]

Thank you for responding to my post (((((Perna)))))

I have been getting therapy for all my issues for about 13 yrs. I just seem to get worse. I feel like I have a different T every other month also I feel like I am being lost in the shuffle. I go for a visit one month on a weekly basis then My T quits or leaves to go to another BH clinic. They do not tell me or schedule me with someone else so I am left hanging. Now my P moved me to just med checks every 4 months and I really don't know why actually I do she flat out told me she has other patients to deal with that are worse off then I. That's kind of funny because the Medical Director did my most recent eval and he told me I need to stop working and focus on myself and getting back on track. Get involved in activities to keep me busy. Fun non strenuous activities. I could go on and on but I won't I am so sorry I keep rambling.
Any hooter, As you were saying about your husband being solid, my boyfriend is the same way. He never stress's out or worries about anything. At least he never shows it. He always tells me relax it will happen on it's own, all will be ok, No worries, in 100 yrs no one will even no or care. I try to believe all that, but it's hard. I love him a lot he just has no clue what's going on in my head being with him has calmed me down a bit. As you can see not enough

If possible, choose a psychologist of your own and pay for it out of your own pocket so you don't have to put up with insurance companies to make mental health decisions.

Call around and talk to some. See what they have to offer you. There are many kinds of therapies out there.

I had never even heard of guided imagery before I chose my current therapist. Mostly, I just wanted a psychologist because I'd had other professionals that I felt didn't help. I wanted a particular type of therapy (psychodynamic) and someone with experience treating depression and anxiety. So I called with those things in mind and found the woman I go to now. She does guided imagery and it is a very relaxing, calming, and enjoyable experience.

This weeks session was today. I arrived after a horrible week; I felt less than cooperative (but I am committed to going even when I don't feel like it. In fact, that is the time I need it most). I came away after the session feeling like a heavy weight had been lifted from me. I felt calm, relaxed, hopeful.

I hope you will consider calling and 'interviewing' some psychologists to see if you can find someone to help; it sure isn't any fun being distraught and wired so much of the time. You deserve to feel better!

ECHOES

[Boopers]

Oh JLove,

Hon, I am so glad you found the inner strength to talk to us. You are NOT alone. I have been dealing with severe depression since I was 14.
I am on two different anti-depressants and these are working really good for me. I have tried them all but everyone is different and re-act differently to them.
Have you ever tried anti-depressants? I know that alot of people don't want to go on meds but that was the only way I got better.
I would feel like I was having a heart attack and I ended up having one, two years ago.
I would feel so anxious that I couldn't even talk to my best friend.
Like your's, my dear husband is one of the most relaxed guys around and always tells me to~don't let it upset you~ Ya, right!! How do you do that? I never did learn how. But, after being on the meds, I am sooo much better.
If you ever need to talk, you can pm me anytime.
I do care,
Linda

[jlove973]

Thank you all so very much for sharing your words and your lives with me ((((((All of U)))))

Boopers,
I have been on meds for years now. The Dr had me on several different anti-depressants they didn't work so then he just took me off and kept me on the 2 others for my BP and ADHD. I don't know if I have to move this to a different thread because now I am talking about other things. Still have alot to say.
I'm Lost

jlove, ifs fine to talk about anything here. I do agree with one of the other replys about if you can, trying to find a private T...I've found this was the only way forward for me...a good T will have a sliding scale...but anxiety and not being able to trust whether our T's will be there tomorrow is like trying put water into a jug that has a hole in it...so you do need to feel completely safe within the T relationship...I dont smoke or drink so consider the money I would spend on those habits to be better spent on therapy...IMHO...I hope you find something very soon! and keep on talking.

[jlove973]

Thank you so much Mouse for replying to my post. I really hope that I can get a steady T soon, because I think it's time that I have reached a blocking point in my life. All I do sometimes is cry. At times I feel like I can't get past that brick wall. No one want's to listen to me. When my Psychiatrist told me I am going to meds only. I felt like yeah if she only knew what was going on inside of me. Anyway I haven't seen a T in awhile and they have none available where I go "no room" for new patients that's kind of funny since I am not a "new patient" I have been there for 13 years now. (EEK!) That's a long time and my Insurance will not cover me going to two different clinics.
My Anxiety is through the roof dealing with all of this and everyday life struggles some times I wonder how I get through the day sometimes. My heart is beating so fast right now just thinking about it. Anyway I won't go on and on I just wanted to say that everyone here is so awesome!! I am greatful that I have a place to go and talk and there is always someone here to listen.
I thank you all once again
Jlove

[Boopers]

Oh Sweetie,
There are many different anti-depressants out there. I don't understand why your doc didn't try different ones on you.
I, personally, have been on several before I found the right combination. I am on two different ones now and they make such a difference in my life.
Not to say, that once in awhile, I don't get so depressed that I close the curtains, lock the door and turn off the phone and lie in bed for days. Because, I still do that, but not near as often as I use to. I have days now where I actually feel happy again.
Before, I didn't even want to be around my own family.
If it's possible, you may want to try different anti-depressants again. It takes a few weeks before they really kick in but you will know within a month, whether they are going to work for you or not.
Also, if you can see a T, that would be wonderful. I use to see one but feel I don't need one now. They can be great though.
It's definitely not good that your heart is racing like that. It's not good for your health, either.
I am so sorry things are rough right now, but know that they will get better.
I wish this for you and hope your days will be bright with sunshine soon.
Hugs,
Boops

[biplol]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jlove}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I know exactly how you feel, and I too am trying to find a way or place where relaxation works.
Hang in there, and if you find it first, please let me know~

anxiety really does a number on us......i'm so sorry that you're experiencing this. i hate it. i woke up this morning with the pounding heart, etc. i have no idea what causes it. and what a way to start your day!!

the new Pdoc told me that we will switch to Zoloft eventually because he thinks he helps anxiety. we'll see.....i've taken a lot of different ADs in my lifetime.

i wish i had a magic wand.....i'd wave it over all of us.....love, pat