Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

I received an e-mail from one of my daughter’s teachers. It had her grade which was not passing. She said one assignment has not been graded and added in. I replied back and asked if extra credit work was available. She said no. Now I’m stressed. I just need to get her out this school. She’s going to a different school next year.

I'm severely anxious tonight.

my anxiety was really bad yesterday because I kept seeing a lot of visions.

it was really bad. it was the worst it's been in quite some time

today it is.... somewhere in the middle, I think

hoping for a less anxious day

Things are much better today. I received an e-mail from my daughter’s teacher. She had enter one of her grades in wrong. My daughter is actually passing her class. The principle called me this morning and we had a long talk.

anxiety is bad this afternoon.

FBI is coming for me.

tonight

sure of it

Busy day with a lot of physical work. Tore apart almost all of my home office. Once the kids move out we'll take out the French doors and turn it into an open floor plan again. I gave my daughter my pencils because I haven't drawn in years and she's doing commissions for her drawing.

My daughter also mentioned that she is at the top of a call list for a new job. Hope that goes through.

I'm sweaty and tired, but I need to take a shower and make dinner.

Anxiety is tolerable.

yesterday the FBI never came for us

so they must be coming tonight

urg..... I wish I could just let it go, but I can't

Kind of nervous right now but overall my anxiety has been better but my depression has been worse.

Really tired today. I thought with the physical work I would sleep better, but I didn't. I'm telling my pnurse that I may need to go back on a sleep med, because it's been a crap shoot to get enough sleep or not.

I'm nervous about that, but otherwise it's been a good day.

today on the big bang theory comercial, they played what sounded to me like a peace of equipment an ambulance has (ambulance sounds are triggers)

I paused the tv and started to pannic.

then I ever so slowly rewound the advert, and replayed it- and the sound went again.

and I kept putting myself through it- rewinding the advert, and replaying it.

then I paused it again and started the obvious signs of a pannic attack.

but I tried to keep it together.. told myself it's just on the advert, it's just on the advert, it's just on the advert

they were showing a wedding, I believe. I don't think it was an ambulance sound, I think it was just the way they played the organ.

but oh my god it ****ing freaked me out. big time

I think I'm okay now though, anxiety's a bit high but it's okay

think I'm worried a lot about tomorrow and the complaint I have to make against this person for laughing about my abuse. I hate complaining

Woke up with a migraine and nausea. It is mostly gone by now so I can eat and drink again. I started my online class and almost finished with this week's homework despite the pain.

The kids found an apartment across from where my old T works. It's cool that they are being proactive. My husband took done more of the wall art and the mug rack. Other stuff will have to wait until tomorrow.

Anxious today but not as much as usual.

I have some anxiety right now. I’m wondering if my drink is not caffeine free like I asked for.

Today was not a good day.

I got an email from the instructor basically treating me like a child. Then an email from her directed to the whole class, in the same fashion. I dropped the class because I don't need that in my life right now.

Then I was taking down the curtains in the sunroom. I did well until it came to taking the anchors out of the wall. I have two that just wouldn't come out. I'm leaving it for my husband to do.

The kids have been in and out. They are now watching Supernatural and talking with each other on the landing, meaning I have to move to the bedroom for some quiet. Then the mowers are roaring through.

I am highly stressed.

Had some extra anxiety today, I don't know why.

I had so much more anxiety this morning, than I do now.

Anxiety has been down except I had to take Propranolol yesterday and it's probably still in my system. Might need it again tomorrow for my Neuro psych test.

My online classes started yesterday so I have been busy. A bit stress to get the assignments for both classes done by the end of the week. I wanted to walk outside, but it has been raining all day.

So far this morning I am calm.

Kids viewed the apartment. One of them has issues with the management company; he was on another one of their properties and they messed around with his rent payments. They are looking at other apartments now.

I sorted out the china. Waiting to see if the kids want any, then will sell or donate the rest. I want to hold onto it but I have to ask myself if I'm ever going to use it.

My anxiety was sort of bad. But I think for decent reasons.

I got my hair and eyebrows done today. I stressed out real bad about getting my eyebrows done. I’m not sure if it’s the hairstylist or just me. I usually have a very high pain tolerance. Not with my eyebrows though. Honestly I’d rather get novocaine and deal with 5 seconds of pain instead of 5 minutes of pain. I was very distressed the entire time. My eyebrows grow crazy if I don’t get them done every 6 weeks. And since people have made rude comments about my eyebrows it’s a necessity.

I also got my eyes examined. I waited a couple years because I absolutely hate that puff of air. Today was no different. I had to be told several times that there would not be a puff of air on the test they were doing at the moment. I was freaking out at every test thinking there would be a puff of air.

My hair and eyebrows look nice and I’m getting cool new glasses. So the result was worth the anxiety and stress that I had most of the day.

Struggling; more tense than have ever been. I have to find a way to get relief.

Some anxiety this morning, stressing that my MIL won't go to her daughters as was planned.

My anxiety has for the most part been down, but when I have stressful days (like when I have a lot of difficult things I have to get done) I get anxious and even start to cry. I took my Propranolol one day, but yesterday I tried reassuring myself that this will pass, that I will get stuff done or I tried to think of alternatives. I can't always think of alternatives, but yesterday I managed.

However, sleep has been (relatively) poor. I think there is some anxiety there. Hmm

After a big runaround between urgent care and the base hospital I ended up going to the ER yesterday. I've had a lump under my chin for three weeks and it was starting to spread. Four hours later I found out my lymph nodes were inflamed and got antibiotics. We managed to get out just in time for daughter's boyfriend's 21st birthday party.

Saw pnurse this morning. No med changes and I'll see her in three months.

There's a large convention in the town where the pnurse's office is at, plus there is a new exhibit at the nearby museum. This was not a good day to be on the road.