Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

such sleep anxiety!! I'm anxious that my alarm is going to go off. Tomorrow (because I still have weekend alarms for my meds and stuff) I'm going to just skip the alarm and wake up naturally, since I seem to do that around 3:30 anyway. So I'll try that and hopefully the anxiety will be better.

But i'm feeling the repercussions of it all day now. It's partly why I can't sit and read all of these posts, though I do read as much as I can. I get anxious when there is a lot to be read. Might just be that I have ADHD anxiety. Too bad I won't find out the results of the neuro psych test for 2 more months. Geez! I digress

Daughter's boyfriend's parents hosted a belated birthday lunch this afternoon. I love his mom--she's such a sweetheart. Food was good and their draft root beer was excellent. We bought cheesecake afterwards.

Despite two days of heavy antibiotics, the swelling is not going away. I'll take the remainder and see what I need to do next.

Anxiety is manageable.

I have a good amount of anxiety, and stress this morning, not knowing what this day will bring. Every day it is some type of drama, problem, or issue. Never a day where I can just have a stress free day.

yesterday I had a helusination involving one of the places I used to be abused at, and it was terrifying

today I emailed someone about it and they told me I was okay, and that I would never go back to that place, but I don't know.

now i'm worried

Now have ants coming through the front of the house. Ugh.

Was finally able to take Lunesta again, so I can sleep. But I have to drink a lot of water for the antibiotics so I don't get enough sleep anyway.

Anxiety is still there.

Day started of great, then it went not so great. I had to help my grandma too the bathroom I have ocd and shes not the cleanest person in the world(she suffers from dementia). Long story short, I got through the bathroom part but now I have lots of anxiety that I'm going to catch some disease and Ive been going around spraying Lysol and wiping off anything she may have touched.

My anxiety level is tolerable today bc my MIL isn't here.

Anxiety is manageable today.

I see trauma T tomorrow though. I think we're still doing relaxation/grounding techniques.

Not too much anxiety today. I did go to Walmart which was kind of anxiety provoking but besides that I didn’t have a lot.

I did not sleep well last night. I had anxiety but I did not take anything. I tossed and turned. I was thinking about my older daughter.

Anxiety wasn't so bad today, I'll take it.

My anxiety is up this morning, bc of my H.

Through the roof.

I did my first EMDR session. I thought we were going to do another relaxation session so it surprised me. I seem to be doing okay but I will know more in the next few days. Afterwards we had lunch and petted some cats in a nearby rescue. We may consider getting another cat when my daughter moves out with hers, but that's a while away.

So kind of uneasy today but hope it will get better soon.

Trying to tune the anxiety down but it’s not working. Lots going on at work but why worry about it all night I ask myself... as I continue to worry about it.

I've been slightly anxious again. It's mostly because I'm having knee pain and I'm anxious about the things I have to do that make it worse. Luckily I can limit those things, but my other anxiety has me rushing around and sometimes I can't be as careful.
Took extra fish oil. Hoping this helps.

I'm anxious this morning even though I didn't take Benadryl, only my Zyrtec and Tylenol. I had a dream that I had a cramp in my leg, then woke up and it really was a cramp! I'm worried about my blood clot, sciatica, and the shaky feelings. Awaiting heart monitor results. Maybe I need to go back on Gabapentin for sciatica pain. I never feel well anymore. Seeing my therapist today and I hope we can take a walk again because I'm in pain when I sit.

Packed the rest of the dishes that we're keeping, down from about 15 to six. Kids will be packing their share tonight, I hope. Then I'll inventory the rest and see if we can sell anything. Also packed up my sewing stuff and helped my husband clean the garage. I sweated a lot so I'll definitely need a shower.

Checked in with trauma T to let her know I'm okay so far.

My daughter did something to her throat that hurt badly.. She and her friends think she had a cut on her tonsil and part of her med got into the cut. Haven't heard of that, but okay...she seems to be doing better anyhow.

Anxiety is okay so far.

Nervous breakdown last night and right now.

I’m trying to relax. I took two Vistarils. I ate oatmeal this morning and later a yogurt. I walked the dog. It started getting hot so I turned the A/C on. I need to go to the grocery store. It rained really bad yesterday so I came straight home after picking my younger daughter up from school.

Today was ok, I took my meds, so I wasn't feeling as anxious as usual. Less overthinking, less afraid, less irritable

Sooooo anxious!!! Like, it wears on me throughout the day. Sooo many things give me anxiety. Soo many things in my life are just difficult for me. When do I get my respite??!! I have to fail at some things just to steal some time for myself to breathe. Then comes the guilt and the anxiety to have to do the next hard thing. I'm a real anxious mess!! Sleep gets affected too, although thankfully it hasn't been as severe as it was since I'm developing a habit that works.

Oh my God! I'm so frustrated with my ex therapist!! I shouldn't complain. It's over. And I'll probably end up saying something stupid.

***hugs***

Just a quick note before my battery runs out--

We took my daughter's cat to the local animal ER. She looked like she was in pain and very lethargic. Vet said she was dehydrated and had a low white blood cell count, but no FIV or feline leukemia. It might be a viral infection so all we could do is supportive care. All that for $500 and four hours. Don't know what was worse, the cat freaking out or the daughter freaking out. It could've been worse; there was another cat in for his second round of chemo.

Tomorrow is regular T and meds. Hopefully no more runs to the vet.

Anxiety was up but now back down.

It was kind of bad at work. I thought people were talking about me. My therapist has told me he thinks my thoughts are distorted. I agree with him, but I still worry.

Once I got off work it was better and I don’t seem to be dwelling on it quite as much as I have before.

So I guess I’m doing good.