Worrying my butt off.

So recently I've been thinking a lot about this summer, and it makes my anxiety so much worse. I'm going to camp, and one of my best friends who is a counselor there knows about my problems, the ED and the SI. I have scars that I will not be able to cover up because it will be the summer. I know that she will be looking for them, and she will be disapointed. At a reunion this winter she watched me like a hawk at meals. I am also training to be a counselor there. What kind of role model am I for kids? My friend said that you have to help yourself before you can help others. I am really looking foreward to being a counselor, but I don't think I will be a good one. Seriously, would you want your kids to be under the supervision of someone that can't even take care of themselves? I am so worried I don't know what to do.

Everyone has problems. You're training to be a counselor. Your friend has not won the counselor general award of the year yet has she? Your scars and ED are symptoms of problems you are working on. You're working hard and I'd be proud and glad to have you be my kid's counselor! You know how hard it is for some kids and what to look out for. Your friend watching you "like a hawk" is not helping/healthy for you or learning much useful for herself. Your friend is not as good a counselor as I predict you will become. She lacks sensitivity and compassion, is worried about symptoms instead of you and helping you with your fears and problems.

((((((((((((( manda )))))))))))))

None of us is perfect in this world. We are all "a work in progress"

I think manda that you will make a good camp councelor. Even if you have issues of your own that you are trying to work through and deal with...you should be able to take that and use it as a councelor. You can't possibly know what kind of issues will come up at any given time, and when they do, you will learn how to deal with them as they arise.

I don't think your friend at camp will be disappointed in you. I think she will feel badly that you are hurting to the point of feeling like you need to SI. I have a friend who SI's and I'm never disappointed in her when it happens. I am sorry she is hurting and I try to help her through that hurt, and I'll bet that's what your friend tries to do also.

If she is watching you so closely, she is probably trying to find out what may trigger you so that she can be available to you when you feel the need for help. If this is uncomfortable for you, you can always talk to her about it. Let her know that her watchful eye is troubling you and making it difficult for you to enjoy yourself. Maybe you can come up with a plan with her that if you find yourself feeling triggered, you can have a code you use with her so she will know. In that way she won't have to be so watchful and you can take some responsibility for letting her know when you need help.

I hope you have a grand time at camp. Relax, enjoy, learn and grow. For that is what it's all about now isn't it?


sabby

Manda try to meditate on the fact that by summertimes you wont have these Issues to worry about, SI, ED, etc....

Your a swimmer a good one I bet otherwise you wouldn't be on the team.

Sweet sunshine recentyl posted a in forums an "I am Game" instead
of " I believe" ...Focus on I am not going to SI, I am Not going
to have an ED, etc....You have more of a positive conditioning
statement going thru your head...I know its worked a little for
me with my issues??

try it out....join in...Good Luck....Ziggy

Perna: I don't think you really understand. If our camp had an award like that, she would win it hands down. She's one of the best counselors we've ever had, that's why she is one of the only ones that returns each year. Trust me, she isn't lacking sensitivity or compassion. She watches me because she cares. She has helped me with my problems more than anyone else I know, and if I didn't have her I would probably be dead right now.
I think it came off not the way I wanted it to.

Then she will help you now too. That's great that you have such a good friend. Everyone is better at some things, do other things less well, etc. You have your strengths too and your experience. I still maintain that she's friends with you so knows "you" but is not as knowledgable about mental health problems as you are and so may not be able to see subtle signs in kids that you will from experience.

we will start at the beginning 4 years ago when i was thirteen i dated this guy named harley my mum hated him and told me that he could not be trusted i soon found that out as he was continually sending me text msgs and was always going past my place so i broke up with him. the constant msgs didnt stop and he was full on stalking me for about a month after that.

he was kicked out of town when he raped a girl who is 12 atm but the msgs and fone calls didn't stop i was still terrified of him for a long while after that cuz he kept sendig msgs threatening me then i got wit a guy who made him stop i was still scared of him but at least he was leaving me alone.

anyway at the beggining of last year i got over it all i was no longer afraid and was happy i had completely let my guard down. and i wasn't concerned when he came back to town. until

last saturday night i went to a party and he showe up he called me a slut and i told him that he had no effect on me anymore and walked away then i was sitting with a m8 of mine and harley came up and started bashing up my m8 one of my older brothers who knew that harley was out to get me grabbed me and got me out of there so quick it wasn't funny i literally had to be carried home i was shaking that bad.

the next day i talked to that matye and asked him if he would press charges he said yes and i said to tell the police i would make a statement but when he went ot the police they said that it was to lat to press charges so he got away with it and is still out there so im not safe

what do i do?

I hope she doesnt stare at your scars, that would be mean.

Ok so I was talking to her last night, and I asked her if anything would be different and she said no. I am so happy that she said that, but it will always be in the back of my mind because I know she will see one and know what it's from. But I guess that's just me being paranoid.

Well lets hope you have a great summer

It is great advantage for a counsellor to have had your own problems, however so long you cannot resolve your particular problems, you won't be able to help others with similar problems. Before I became a professional counsellor I had heaps of problems, mainly in the area of depression, OCD, PTSD, anxiety attacks, drug addiction, with a couple of suicide attempts to boot. It ruined the first 37 years of my life. I went to the uni and studied psychology in the hope of helping myself. It did not help. I then joined a Counselling training course and then became a drug counsellor. But soon I went into an entirely different direction from what I was taught. I studied nutritional biochemistry and discovered that I was hypoglycemic that was responsible for most of my symptoms. I cured my problems within about three months time. Working with nutritional doctors I found out that most of clients were also hypoglycemic. Consequently I was able to help about 80% of my clients, who were given up as lawful citizens of their society.

Please read:

The Forgotten Factor in the Crime Debate

Thus I develop a therapeutic program that was based on a combination of Nutritional Biochemistry and Psychotherapy, where the biochemistry took precedence over psychology. (Biochemistry before psychology)

Back in the 80's I explained my approach in a book called Getting off the Hook.

I was soon employed as Probation and Parole Officer, where I ran groups for drug addicts and people with a wide variety of mood disorders. NNote that over 75% of prisoners are mentally ill. The popularity (and I may say treatment success) of my program with prisoners - drug addicts and others - soon got me into conflict with the powers that be and mainly controlled by the medical union and psychologists. The saga has been explained here.

We then founded the Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia, a charitable organisation of sufferers of mental illness with the aim of educating the public and the health care practitioners of the relationship between mental illness and Hypoglycemia.

I am a new member of this discussion board and I have no idea whether my alternative psychonutritional views on counselling are welcome. I guess I will soon find out.

i worry so much too, its bad