anxiety

hi...all my life ive always thought about the "what ifs" and ive always had paranoia and anxiety...i have a girlfriend who im in love with and lately ive been extremely paranoid about her flying...i keep thinking about the "what ifs" and its driving me crazy...she isnt even flying for another 8 weeks yet i still cant get it out of my head...sometimes i even think "what if god is giving me a sign"...thats the one that makes me most insane...but then sometimes i think to myself that its retarded that i think about this stuff and then other times it feels so real...the thoughts go back and forth...even though ive always thought about the what ifs in my life, ive never been this worried about something...ive always been able to move on in past situations but this one just wont go away...what should i do???...can i have some advice

I too worry about the what ifs constantly. I worry about both present and past. I have been told just to keep busy and this has worked as a temporary fix for me. I someimes get so involved in things that I will actually "forget" to worry for hours at a time. Doesn't seem like much, but those worry free hours are great.

I take Trazodone which is mainly supposed to help me sleep and it works well. It has no other side effects that I can tell. It is helping with my OCD as well. It's taken a few weeks but it's a start. Are you taking meds?

I am finding that just talking to others with the same problems is helping, so feel free to talk away!

nope i am not taking meds because i havent really told any doctors or therpists about my problem...i am trying to talk to others with similar problems and it is helping somewhat....but i still am highly concerned about my girlfriend and this whole 'what if god is giving me a sign' thing...has that thought ever come into your head

???? please someone help

Sweetie the anxiety your feeling can be helped with light meds, and/or therapy
Angie

i know i know but i just want someone to talk to who shares my same feelings...does anyone out there know how im feeling????

Yes, woowoo, I know the feelings of anxiety. I've known lots of obsessions. It'll be ok. This too shall pass.

Yes, I do know and understand how you are feeling... I feel that way a lot of the time. It does help knowing there are others, but I had to finally make myself go to a doctor and do something for myself. I thought my worrying was normal; it wasn't. I have OCD and I worry about everything, but lately I have been fixated my boyfriend, and we have been dating over a year. It may not be normal for everyone but 'we' worry. I can literally drive myself into a frenzy, to a point where I just want to scream, or something, anything. And I do get those feelings where I think there are signs telling me of the past, present, and future. I have dreams and think they are signs....I trip over something and it must be a sign... But, I have learned that they're not or I'd probably be a millionaire... Not signs, just thoughts.

But, you should really think about going and getting something that will help you. If you ever need to talk, I am here and so are all of the others. I see that a lot of the people here have come to terms with what they're going through. I still haven't but I am working on it, and something will work for you, too.

Keep your chin up! Things have to get better!

thanks...and i guess im just like this because im pretty much new to this whole thing and ive never had anxiety this bad and i just cant tell if it is serious or not because i cant compare it to anything...like ive never been paranoid about signs before...this is just so strange and new to me

WooWoo, I know that feeling all to well. No matter what you do it seems that those "what if's" will never go away. Always remember that anxiety is intensified worry. It's ok and don't beat yourself up about it. We are here for you. (((((woowoo)))))

thanks alot...it is really tough to think about all this stuff...this is the first time ive really experienced something like this and it seems like it is taking over my life...like sometimes it feels so real to me and then others it seems like im being completely strange...i just wish i had some guarentee that my girlfriend is gonna be ok

woowoo,
I can't give you any guarentee about your girl friend's safety. Nobody can unfortunately. It is just that OCD causes irrational worries that most likely will never come true. I Know this is probably not very comforting but there is a need for truth also.

I would also recommend what the others have, that you get some advice and help from a professional. Perhaps you could talk to your girl friend about these thoughts. This may help to ease your distress.

Take care and keep posting if it helps.

thanks...i have talked to my girlfriend about it but she just doesnt understand what im going through...it seems when i talk to my friends or girlfriend they just think im being too worried and nervous when really im not worried or nervous...im paranoid and have anxiety...i cant tell if i really have something here or if these thoughts are just because i love my girlfriend so much

Woowoo,
It's hard to say. When we have excessive worrying, it is made more intensive when there is some one we love involved.
The thought of losing that person is unbearable. On the other hand we can not keep them locked in a cage so that we always know they are safe, either.

I think you are wondering if your worries are a premonition (sp) ?. There are things in this world that are not explainable, I believe, so I would never say that it is impossible.

But on the other hand, for every plane that takes off and lands safely there is probably someone who worried that it would not.

Like I said...you can't keep your girlfriend entirely out of danger at all times. Statistics say she will be safe, for what that is worth.
She must make her own choices.
Some times all we can do is let them go and pray like heck.

I wish I could be more comfort and help. Keep posting if it helps and welcome to the forum.

i know that i should not stop her from going and im not planning on it...but thats why i worry...because i cant control it...and i know all the stats but that does not help...it just feels like once the thought came into my head its immpossible to get out...and this is the 3rd time she has flown since we have been dating...the first time i did not worry a bit and i think that might just be because i wasnt as much in love with her and the thought of her dying just never came into mind...and then the second time was a month ago and i worried alot but it wasnt untill about a week ahead of time...and now ever since that trip ive already started worrying about her next trip which isnt for another 8 weeks but i just keep saying 'what if'...and it sounds dumb but i sometimes think like "what if her last trip was like a sign for the next one and thats thats why i worried about the last one"...or like "what if me worrying is gods way of preparing me for something"...stuff like that...and it just drives me crazy

Woowoo,
It does not sound dumb. It sounds like obsessive compulsive worry. This is not a diagnosis, but it does sound like it.

It is because it is out of your control that you do worry so much.

I really want to urge you to see a professional about this. It sounds like it is getting worse as time passes and it is obviously causing you stress. We here, can offer support and someone to listen and are happy to do that, but a professional could probably help you get by this so that it is not such a disruption in your life.

What does your girl friend say when you mention it to her?

well this is disrupting my life alot...its so hard to concentrate on anything else other then this situation...and before this started i thought about her constantly anyway..just not about something happening to her...she knows that im highly concerned about her trip but she just doesnt understand what im going through...she just tells me that there is no reason to worry and that she will be fine but it doesnt help...i dont tell her about my whole issue with the god thing because im worried that will cause her to think im a physco...alot of people know im worried but the only time i mention the sign thing is here

Woowoo,
I am glad you feel like you can talk about it all here. It does sound like this is creating problems for you in your life.

You said it was 8 weeks before she had to fly again. this would give you time to go and talk to a professional and perhaps be better able to sort out your feelings about all of this. If with the help of a professional and perhaps some medication the fears subsided then it would seem likely that it was an OCD issue.

Does this seem reasonable?

yeah im thinking about trying to get some professional help...i just wish i could talk to people who have experienced this too though...it helps to talk to people who know what its like