[ebatts]

Absent-mindedness and bouts of procrastination have controlled my life since the age of eight. In elementary school, I had my own desk in the school counselor’s office, and I was there everyday during what was usually nap time for everyone else. She made me keep a “good behavior scorecard,” on which smiley face or star stickers were placed to rank my behavior in several areas for each day. No stickers for an item meant bad behavior, and improvement was needed. The counselor finally told my mom to take me to a psychiatrist for further evaluation. When my psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADD, my mom breathed a sigh of relief, but I spent the next 13 years (and counting) on medication after medication. You name it, I’ve probably been on it. I was on Concerta for eight years before it finally lost its effect when I was 18. We tried visiting previous medications: Ritalin, Adderall, Concerta (stronger dose), Welbutrin, Vyvanse, Focalin, Intuniv, Strattera. I’m back on Adderall now, but it doesn’t seem to be working anymore.

Being an adult with ADD isn’t easy at all. Even with medication I have trouble concentrating at work and listening to others when they are talking to me. I’ve had trouble finding a career path to follow because I lose interest in it after a few days. I also misplace things all the time: car keys, pens, my glasses. My bookshelf is lined with novels I’ve never finished reading. Under my bed are several spiral-bound and marble notebooks that are blank after the first few pages. Last November I decided I was going to do NaNoWriMo; I began my novel but didn’t get past the first two pages. As an artist, I’ve struggled with projects. I have folders on my laptop of unfinished artwork, and there are paintings that sit partially completed in my attic. I often attempt to multitask but get sidetracked on something else entirely.

I also suffer from depression, which I feel is a product of my ADD. A feeling of inadequacy fills me from head to toe whenever I realized I haven’t finished something. I set goals for myself and become discouraged when I do not reach them, or have to change my goal because it is too far out of reach. When I think about how many times I’ve changed my goals, I begin to feel as though I am incapable of success. I also have a hard time with failure, so I feel as though I’m stuck between these two emotions eternally. I become sad and sometimes jealous when I see someone else achieving my goals. I feel as though one day everyone I know will be college graduates with the careers they wanted, and I will still be changing my career path every two weeks.

[ebatts]

Does anyone else feel this way? I'm getting the impression that no one else does.

[venusss]

Couldn't it be that depression mimics the ADHD (traits)? The lack of focus, lack of interest even... sounds a lot like depression... scatterbrainness can come from that. You don't care, that is why you don't follow. You are mentally exhausted, so of course your mind doesn't work the way it should. Are you focusing on this with your treamtment team? ADHD seems as something most problem kids are diagnosed with... no matter the real issue (no offense to you, it's just lazy diagnosing).

(and as for losing things... either this is bunk as diagnostic criteria or 95% of my friends suffer from ADHD. I met few people who don't misplace keys or cellphones or glasses. And many of them are the classic "I put food in my purse and magazines and purses in fridge". Not saying it's not bothersome, but it could easily be add on to being stressed or some other mental state. As pointed out in report in other thread, for example in France this is irrelavent as diagnostic criteria for ADHD).

[ebatts]

I can make a distinction between when I know I'm ADD and when I know I'm depressed. When I get depressed my mood is just really low, I get more quiet than normal, and I have zero energy. When I don't take my Adderall, I can't stay on one thing and wind up starting a hundred different projects at once and often lose track of where I am. I have a ton of energy in those cases and I become annoying to people around me.

My psychiatrist did give me Prozac for the depression, but he said "If it makes you hyper, you'll know it's not working. Let me know and we'll try something else." And sure enough, it did just that. I took Zoloft before but that just made my depression so much worse.

Sometimes I think my psychiatrist doesn't know what to do with me because I've been seeing him for almost 13 years.

[venusss]

Is there a chance to see somebody else and more helpful?

[Scotty204]

I too suffer from ADD and depression and I'm 30. I struggle to concentrate or focus at work but somehow I manage to get by. There are alot of people on here just like us so your not alone by any means.

[RainbowRoad]

Oh, my.... your post could have nearly been written by me.

Believe me, you are not alone. I'm 33 and have changed so many times "what I want to be when I grow up". I have two kids, which is so stressful for me, sometimes. I lose things constantly, have a terrible time keeping appointments, paying the bills on time... now I'm responsible for their schedules as well as my own. It's... chaos.

They're happy. Thank gods. But I constantly feel so behind. So inadequate. I feel like a failure, and I know I am capable of so much more. If I could just... pull myself together.

I'm hoping my upcoming psyche appointment and inevitable new meds will help pull me out of this mess. I have GOT to be a functional human being, damnit. My family needs me...



*And yes... I have depression, too. Double-whammy.

[cnoevl21]

Same boat here, 31, though i somehow passed the ADHD test (dont ask me how) so I guess my only issue is "depression" but honeslty, who the hell knows? But like you all, my mind is always bouncing all over the place, cant comprehend what i read, cant pay attention when ppl are talking to me, etc. I work with video which I think helps because its very "hands on" but to be honest, ive gotten used to the "zoning out" to the point where half of the time I can do my work whilst being zoned out in a day dream. Ive driven for 20-30 min. completely zoned out. obviously this is not at all safe, but its like ive learned how to do things even when my mind is truly occupied on other unrelated thoughts. Its not the best thing in the world, and i always hope to "get better" at some point, but u just gta deal with whats in front of u...day by day my friend, day by day.

[ChrisS81]

Originally Posted by ebatts

Absent-mindedness and bouts of procrastination have controlled my life since the age of eight. In elementary school, I had my own desk in the school counselor’s office, and I was there everyday during what was usually nap time for everyone else. She made me keep a “good behavior scorecard,” on which smiley face or star stickers were placed to rank my behavior in several areas for each day. No stickers for an item meant bad behavior, and improvement was needed. The counselor finally told my mom to take me to a psychiatrist for further evaluation. When my psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADD, my mom breathed a sigh of relief, but I spent the next 13 years (and counting) on medication after medication. You name it, I’ve probably been on it. I was on Concerta for eight years before it finally lost its effect when I was 18. We tried visiting previous medications: Ritalin, Adderall, Concerta (stronger dose), Welbutrin, Vyvanse, Focalin, Intuniv, Strattera. I’m back on Adderall now, but it doesn’t seem to be working anymore.

Being an adult with ADD isn’t easy at all. Even with medication I have trouble concentrating at work and listening to others when they are talking to me. I’ve had trouble finding a career path to follow because I lose interest in it after a few days. I also misplace things all the time: car keys, pens, my glasses. My bookshelf is lined with novels I’ve never finished reading. Under my bed are several spiral-bound and marble notebooks that are blank after the first few pages. Last November I decided I was going to do NaNoWriMo; I began my novel but didn’t get past the first two pages. As an artist, I’ve struggled with projects. I have folders on my laptop of unfinished artwork, and there are paintings that sit partially completed in my attic. I often attempt to multitask but get sidetracked on something else entirely.

I also suffer from depression, which I feel is a product of my ADD. A feeling of inadequacy fills me from head to toe whenever I realized I haven’t finished something. I set goals for myself and become discouraged when I do not reach them, or have to change my goal because it is too far out of reach. When I think about how many times I’ve changed my goals, I begin to feel as though I am incapable of success. I also have a hard time with failure, so I feel as though I’m stuck between these two emotions eternally. I become sad and sometimes jealous when I see someone else achieving my goals. I feel as though one day everyone I know will be college graduates with the careers they wanted, and I will still be changing my career path every two weeks.

I am 30 years old and was diagnosed a year ago with ADD and depression and anxiety disorder. Everything you said I can relate to also in fact I have said almost word for word the same things a million times. I have at many times felt like no one understands and I am alone in this. I get no support from my family and all my relationships have ended with them saying " I don't care" or " I have no feelings". This is a miserable life at times but I hold out hope for change and I hope you do the same.

[redbull]

Originally Posted by ebatts

I also suffer from depression, which I feel is a product of my ADD. A feeling of inadequacy fills me from head to toe whenever I realized I haven’t finished something. I set goals for myself and become discouraged when I do not reach them, or have to change my goal because it is too far out of reach. When I think about how many times I’ve changed my goals, I begin to feel as though I am incapable of success. I also have a hard time with failure, so I feel as though I’m stuck between these two emotions eternally. I become sad and sometimes jealous when I see someone else achieving my goals. I feel as though one day everyone I know will be college graduates with the careers they wanted, and I will still be changing my career path every two weeks.

I know this story and I'm so afraid of this happening to me too. I scared that I'll end up not being able to do anything because I keep changing my mind and I can't stay focused on one thing for long.

At the 11th hour, I registered for courses this fall intending to take one. single. course. Just one. Because I know I won't be able to handle any more than that. It's kinda depressing for me in a way.
I try to stay focused on the positive because its amazing that I even registered.

[Pensiver]

Yes, even though I'm not diagnosed with ADD, with all honesty I believe I have it. And although I don't believe I suffer from depression, from time to time I experience those low moods.

You're wrong if you say you're the only who has it!

[veez]

Originally Posted by ebatts

Absent-mindedness and bouts of procrastination have controlled my life since the age of eight. In elementary school, I had my own desk in the school counselor’s office, and I was there everyday during what was usually nap time for everyone else. She made me keep a “good behavior scorecard,” on which smiley face or star stickers were placed to rank my behavior in several areas for each day. No stickers for an item meant bad behavior, and improvement was needed. The counselor finally told my mom to take me to a psychiatrist for further evaluation. When my psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADD, my mom breathed a sigh of relief, but I spent the next 13 years (and counting) on medication after medication. You name it, I’ve probably been on it. I was on Concerta for eight years before it finally lost its effect when I was 18. We tried visiting previous medications: Ritalin, Adderall, Concerta (stronger dose), Welbutrin, Vyvanse, Focalin, Intuniv, Strattera. I’m back on Adderall now, but it doesn’t seem to be working anymore.

Being an adult with ADD isn’t easy at all. Even with medication I have trouble concentrating at work and listening to others when they are talking to me. I’ve had trouble finding a career path to follow because I lose interest in it after a few days. I also misplace things all the time: car keys, pens, my glasses. My bookshelf is lined with novels I’ve never finished reading. Under my bed are several spiral-bound and marble notebooks that are blank after the first few pages. Last November I decided I was going to do NaNoWriMo; I began my novel but didn’t get past the first two pages. As an artist, I’ve struggled with projects. I have folders on my laptop of unfinished artwork, and there are paintings that sit partially completed in my attic. I often attempt to multitask but get sidetracked on something else entirely.

I also suffer from depression, which I feel is a product of my ADD. A feeling of inadequacy fills me from head to toe whenever I realized I haven’t finished something. I set goals for myself and become discouraged when I do not reach them, or have to change my goal because it is too far out of reach. When I think about how many times I’ve changed my goals, I begin to feel as though I am incapable of success. I also have a hard time with failure, so I feel as though I’m stuck between these two emotions eternally. I become sad and sometimes jealous when I see someone else achieving my goals. I feel as though one day everyone I know will be college graduates with the careers they wanted, and I will still be changing my career path every two weeks.

I just read your post and was compelled to reply. I am well past the point of career goals. I had an established career and experienced it disintegrating because of severe depression and ADD, both of which I have suffered from for many years. If you have a connection with your doctor and feel good about them, then I don't think you necessarily need a new doctor as suggested in a previous post. Some people are treatment resistant, which results in having to try various medications and treatments to access a feeling of being better. I also think that there needs to be some acceptance of your limitations and a realization that you need to find and utilize helpful tools that will make living through the day to day a little easier. For me, I don't know that it gets much better than that. My guess is that I am much older than you. Maybe my experiences have lead me out of helplessness to lay down my sword and surrender a bit. In my life I have many times over been overwhelmed and overtaken by the destruction and confusion resulting from severe depression and ADD. I know all too well how difficult it can be to have or even be open to hope. But, in my better moments I know there is more and I glimpse my ailments as conditions that make me unique and compassionate. As I said, in my better moments, which are mostly few. What helps me is to be on a constant search for things that speak to me. And in turn hope that I will feel inspired. That is my best. There are posts, including mine to let you know that you are not alone in your experience. I related to or have experienced most of what you described. I truly get it and am so sorry for how difficult it can be. It doesn't help to know others suffer too.

[-jimi-]

I failed Nano 2 years on a row now.

It sure doesn't feel good. It's hard when you have it in you but only one part... ideas or whatever, but the follow through is lacking.

Sometimes it makes me want to scream because I almost never finished anything in my life. I didn't even finish high school. Made up for it just not to finish uni.

I want to be able to grasp that talent and pull it out of the miserable place where everything gets lost.

Are ADD meds expected to alleviate Adult ADD symptoms all by themselves? I'm just wondering if it doesn't make sense to proceed with therapy in conjunction with the meds. After all it seems to me that some behavior habits formed by depression might be hard to break when the mind, although clearer and better functioning, still can't escape the conditioning due to years of self adapting to stress.

Insisting on a proper path of therapy in conjunction with medication seems to be the best route to combat the ingrained aspects of the problem. Don't most Docs out there recommend that method of attack anyway? It can sometimes be very tough to follow through with both but I think therapy should be taken along with any meds. Roll the whole thing into a ball and kick its *** at the same time.

Hi Ebatts. I have some similar issues I think. I wish I had an answer for you. I'm still looking tho and if I find the right ones by God I'll give 'em out to one and all...free! Anyway do you think it makes any sense to mix the ADD meds with therapy at the same time? Years of self esteem *****, depression etc. due to the ADD might be easier addressed and dealt with while taking an effective medication. One without the other might be a hell of a lot more difficult and surely less effective.

[ebatts]

I think one can supplement the other, depending on what started first. Finding the right medicine can be a pain, but so can finding the right therapist.

[veez]

Originally Posted by jimrat

I failed Nano 2 years on a row now.

It sure doesn't feel good. It's hard when you have it in you but only one part... ideas or whatever, but the follow through is lacking.

Sometimes it makes me want to scream because I almost never finished anything in my life. I didn't even finish high school. Made up for it just not to finish uni.

I want to be able to grasp that talent and pull it out of the miserable place where everything gets lost.

I don't know what Nano is, but, I could relate to everything else you said. It is discouraging to realize just how complicated accomplishing a single task is. I too have that "miserable place where everything gets lost." Most of the time I try to push hard at accepting that what I get done is enough at that time. I credit my therapist with helping me to get through some of those times when what I can accomplish is a failure or incomplete. We must continue to explore ways to grasp the talent you speak of -- we deserve to harness it and claim it as ours.

I agree Ebatts.

[-jimi-]

Originally Posted by quizzickle

Insisting on a proper path of therapy in conjunction with medication seems to be the best route to combat the ingrained aspects of the problem.

What kind of therapy do you suggest for depression? What kind of therapy helps with ADD?

[CWC3]

ADHD, anxiety and depression here too, bud. It sucks. It's frustrating. It's distracting from life itself. Keep working. Here's a new med to try--an ADD coach. I don't know if it'll work, but perhaps worth a shot?

--CHANGEwillcome

[overboardgal]

Originally Posted by ebatts

Absent-mindedness and bouts of procrastination have controlled my life since the age of eight. In elementary school, I had my own desk in the school counselor’s office, and I was there everyday during what was usually nap time for everyone else. She made me keep a “good behavior scorecard,” on which smiley face or star stickers were placed to rank my behavior in several areas for each day. No stickers for an item meant bad behavior, and improvement was needed. The counselor finally told my mom to take me to a psychiatrist for further evaluation. When my psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADD, my mom breathed a sigh of relief, but I spent the next 13 years (and counting) on medication after medication. You name it, I’ve probably been on it. I was on Concerta for eight years before it finally lost its effect when I was 18. We tried visiting previous medications: Ritalin, Adderall, Concerta (stronger dose), Welbutrin, Vyvanse, Focalin, Intuniv, Strattera. I’m back on Adderall now, but it doesn’t seem to be working anymore.

Being an adult with ADD isn’t easy at all. Even with medication I have trouble concentrating at work and listening to others when they are talking to me. I’ve had trouble finding a career path to follow because I lose interest in it after a few days. I also misplace things all the time: car keys, pens, my glasses. My bookshelf is lined with novels I’ve never finished reading. Under my bed are several spiral-bound and marble notebooks that are blank after the first few pages. Last November I decided I was going to do NaNoWriMo; I began my novel but didn’t get past the first two pages. As an artist, I’ve struggled with projects. I have folders on my laptop of unfinished artwork, and there are paintings that sit partially completed in my attic. I often attempt to multitask but get sidetracked on something else entirely.

I also suffer from depression, which I feel is a product of my ADD. A feeling of inadequacy fills me from head to toe whenever I realized I haven’t finished something. I set goals for myself and become discouraged when I do not reach them, or have to change my goal because it is too far out of reach. When I think about how many times I’ve changed my goals, I begin to feel as though I am incapable of success. I also have a hard time with failure, so I feel as though I’m stuck between these two emotions eternally. I become sad and sometimes jealous when I see someone else achieving my goals. I feel as though one day everyone I know will be college graduates with the careers they wanted, and I will still be changing my career path every two weeks.

I was dx at age 47, its sure not a happy life for me dealing with this, I take Ritalin right now, will start Adderall if, if, drug insurance will do an exception as if they are Gods.

None of the designer anti depressants worked for me Celexa, Paxil, Zoloft etc, Remeron helps with my anger that comes with not being able to focus and for sleep.

When someone is talking to me after 10 seconds or so I just nod my head or ask them to repeat what they said.

I lose everything, all my important stuff, bills, meds need to be right in front of me at the kitchen table.

I cannot read books like I used to, I've just about given up on trying to sort things in my rooms, it all gets messed up over & over again so why should I do it.

Nobody in my family understands what I am going thru, they constantly bother me when I am trying to do something, I really want to say "shut up and leave me alone" that's sad, but that's how I feel

My rooms are a mess, I'd swear if I could move my refrig I'd lose that too

[placidfury]

Originally Posted by ebatts

Does anyone else feel this way? I'm getting the impression that no one else does.

I feel exactly the same way. I loose everything. Just the other day I finally found all my medical records and they were in a manilla envelope. They were an inch thick. they were in my storage building and I went to give this lady my email address while I was there and used the records to wright on. I put them on the back of my car and when I was ready to leave I forgot they were on there, pulled off and lost my records somewhere on the hwy. The next day when I had my dr.s app. I had no medical records. a couple of weeks ago I lost my car keys and after process of elimination I finally found them at Food City...it is so frustraiting. i cant keep my room clean and my car is trashed. every day i want to clean it but every day i put it off. Its just to overwhelming to think about taking on that mammoth task. Things that are just every day things to other people just wipe me out. My friends want me to go out with them but I make up excuses that I have to do other things but in reality i am at home in front of the tv because getting up and getting ready, and having to meet new people and converse, and all that stuff just is too hard for me. I wouldnt event go to work if I didnt have to and I am a dog groomer and I love what I do. I have no intrest in anything. I was a bodybuilder and now I have gained 20 lbs and that has me depressed. I used to enjoy lifting weights so much and it made me feel so good now I just dont care anymore. I love planting flowers in my garden and working in the yard but its all weeds now. I just dont care. It sucks..Hopefully when I go to the dr. next week I will have some good news.

[esmeo]

Just as note, you should have a better picture for your profile. that could give a better message of what you want.

[Red_Cyclops]

Hi. You are certainly not alone. I am 41 and never knew, nor do I now know, what I "want to be" from a career perspective. I don't think I ever will, honestly. My attention span is so short with everything. I've been diagnosed as both Bipolar II and ADD, however I know that characteristics and symptoms can cross over. I know I am definitely Bipolar and suffer from depression very often. My attention and focus issues do not seem to be any better or worse at those times, however, I have noticed that they are affected by the meds I take for Bipolar. But they work, as does the Vyvanse for focus and attention. You may want to consider seeing another psychiatrist for a second opinion. I've never heard of there being a concern about Prozac making people hyper, but it can cause mania, which is not good.