Those thoughts

I see my T beginning next week - already texted her to begin looking for a new pdoc. If my T hadn't been away, I would have gone to hospital before taking an SSRI OD - but right now the only one I trust, is my T.
I'm tired of people taking me so casually. I've been to hospital once following an OD - proper sui attempt. I know I am a risk to OD - but not to feel GOOD; just to get rid of the pain. Why can doctors not understand the difference? And when I get really down, I know I am a sui risk. Especially after reaching out and getting no help
But for now I'm fine

You know I never understood this type of reaction by some including those in the medical field.

Okay so let's suppose the patient is being melodramatic and acting out a tantrum like attention getting stunt. The fact is too that patient the problem is real and serious!

Who cares if "you" [the observer/Doc] think it is an overreaction?

Did I explain that right by the way?

Anyhow it is like a teenager that is "IN LOVE". You as a parent know they don't know what they are talking about, but at that point in a life it sure feels like LOVE. So a responsible parent will acknowledge that.

Not to compare you or anyone with a kid but you get my illustration I hope.

Hey if you want to try and help the patient with perspective that is a great idea but never, EVER, disregard someone's CRY FOR HELP!

(((((Darling darling Suga....please stand in the moment at hand and self soothe...ie,do things that bring or used to bring or may bring pleasure/distraction.))))

Wolfsong - unfortunately self-soothing is a really big issue in my life. I just cannot do it. Hence the meds and OD's in my life. Or is just sleep.

Managing to stay stable for now, but it doesn't change the fact I'm still very upset with my pdoc. But at least I did get my Wellbutrin; holding thumbs it works as well as I hope!

@Lexapro - I am concerned; if she doesn't take me serious, and neither does my bf; I'm left with my T, or no-one at all really. My support group pretty much ends there...

Wellbutrin seems to be working very well for me... we will see if it can hold out all winter

Was talking to my pdoc about patients self medicating (I'm guilty on occasion!!!!) He was telling me about a patient who inadvertantly OD on SSRIs and ended up in ICU for 2 weeks with serotenergic syndrome, not good.... please don't try it (if it doesn't work it can cause permenant brain damage - so really don't do it)

We will support you Suga....we are all here...glad you checked in...been worried.Let us know what happens in T?.....Positive thoughts out into the universe on your behalf...weak as it may sound...>.<(((Suga)))~WO.olfsong

Thanks for all your support.

@Blackpup - I am quite keen to investigate serotenergic syndrome. Yay - something to keep me busy.
I think I'm still ok. But may be spiralling into a bit of a depressive epsiode...

Well perhaps you need to consider any other options as far as medical help which I am sure you already know.

PS - I increased my Wellbutrin and it is better now.

Lexapro - please elaborate. I'm sticking it out with my pdoc, and my T and I had a really good session - I think things will be going to another level.

75mg Wellbutrin is all I'm on right now; it's making me a bit hypomanic and I cannot fall asleep, but I'd rather have that, than deal with depression
At the same time, it's a bit of an indication to me that my Lamictal should have probably been increase first (I'm on 100mg only)

On 100 mg Lamictal, I went into a depression (they are usually reasonably short, 4-5 weeks). Then my pdoc let me increase nice and slow to 300mg. It feels better in a way I could not imagine possible.
Funny thing, I realize I have no reference - do not know what it is like not to be bipolar. It affected my mood even between episodes.

I know what you are going through my thoughts come from my ocd and Its hard for me too control them and I know how you feel .Yeah I end of hurting my sister feeling and no they dont deserve it.Huggs my doctor gave me this advice he said let people know in advance so that they will know that Iam not trying to hurt there fellings

Vita - just wondering - are you on an anti-depressant, too? I was on Lamictal only and had some serious depressions. Added Wellbutrin and that helped..

The Lamictal alone was of not much use, I think it may have made the depression worse.
Now I've been hypomanic for 3 weeks... With the odd mixed episode. Also not great...

I was suggesting finding another doc. Also finding trusted supportive friends to help you make informed but not hasty decisions.

As for meds I just saying sometimes little adjustments can help.

Well, through other posts, I have learnt a lot in the last while. E.g. I take 1/2 150mg Wellbutrin XL. It is IMPOSSIBLE to cut them in half, so I bite them. Not a good idea, as it is not able to slowly release the medication, but rather gives it to me in one go. This is how my pdoc told me to take them.
Not sure if she ever thought of getting me onto 150mg.
I think we should have upped the Lamictin, but I'm not the doctor.
She's now away on a Christmas break, so I cannot even complain about not being able to sleep. I have some Zopiclone left over from an earlier pdoc, and am busy taking that occassionally.

The main person in my life is my boyfriend; I don't have a large circle of friends - I'm just that kind of person.
Some of my decision may have been made a bit hastily, but I'm generally in control of myself. And I see my T weekly. I trust her.

So for a Doctor to "experiment" with the right combo or amount is pretty hard. I just think that based on your one ordeal with the non reaction to your suicidal concerns was a little irresponsible that's all.

Of course I am basing that on that one incident you would have a lot more to consider.

And I totally understand your handling of those in your life. I used to have a lot more friends and now I am a bit of a loner with a bunch of acquaintances outside the fam.

Hi, I feel so great, not really one of us.
The reason: probably suficcient dose of Lamictal. That and Ritalin for my adhd is what I am on. For me Lamictal both stabilizes mood and works as antidepressant. Good to have a hit at first attempt with both

Since I reached 300mg Lamictal, I have been waking up in the morning, feeling happy about my mood.

How did Christmas go, Suga?

Sugahorse, you aren't supposed to cut/chew wellbutrinxl. It should have a warning for this in the info with your meds. Not sure why your pdoc would tell you to do this?

Blue - yes, the package insert says not to break them in half... My pdoc has degrees and whatever plastered all over her walls - she cannot be a total idiot. But this idea sounds a bit strange...

Lonegael - it was a bit up and down. I was irritable and at times hyperactive. Then I couldn't sleep. Then I'd be emotional. Then I'd pick on my bf... oh well

Sorry to hear that. It does sound kind of wierd to be breaking the wellbutrin like that. Does she know that you are getting the blast effect from this?

I'm seriously worried about some of this, Suga. Stay safe, OK?

Sometimes the pdoc doesn't know all the precautions like a Pharmacist would, so I would follow what the med insert says and bring it up with your pdoc next visit, so she doesn't make the same mistakes with another patient.

I'm so frustrated with all the "professionals" in my life. My pdoc is hell of an expensive, has long waiting lists, sometimes intimidates me and makes some strange decisions.
They really should know better than prescribe meds like they do.

My T is helping me a lot more, but sometimes I think she doesn't pick up on my subtle hints (yes, it's my fault I don't voice them) She could tell I felt a whelling of emotions yesterday (My face went bright red), yet let me leave her rooms without much grounding or questioning me and my feelings. So I'm feeling like the wheels are falling off, like my T has abandoned me. Generally, therapy is becoming too painful and frustrating for me right now.

I understand that the whole slow-release effect comes from the fact that the harder outer core takes a longer time to digest. Breaking the tab open will dump all the meds on me. It's a 150mg XL Tab. What kind of effects would I be experiencing with having this dumped on me? Technically it's 75mg.

The concern is that it's dangerous. This is from the med info sheet: Do not chew, cut, or crush WELLBUTRIN XL tablets. If you do, the medicine will be released into your body too quickly. If this happens you may be more likely to get side effects including seizures. You must swallow the tablets whole. Tell your doctor if you cannot swallow medicine tablets.

You can download the med info sheet from the wellbutrin website: http://www.wellbutrinxl.com/

If your pdoc wants you to be on a lower dose than 150mg she will need to switch you to the non-xl because the lowest dose that the xl form comes in is 150mg. Perhaps you should contact the pharmacist and inquire about the concerns etc.