[dolphins76]

I have spent the last month in a slump- not even getting off the couch to answer the phone. But today I actually got up and started doing some stuff around the house. Mainly reorganizing my bedroom. I can not stay focused on any one task though my head is what I call fuzzy and I keep taking breaks. I am getting overwhelmed and all I want to do is lay back down on the couch with my blanket and go to sleep. I am fighting the urges though and to be honest it is a major battle. I am honestly not sure how much longer I can handle being down here at this level. I want my energy back, I want my motivation and drive back. The thing is I do not know my triggers yet so I have no clue what happened to get me to this point. I feel like I am going to crawl out of my skin at times. And I just want to scream- please tell me how to make this stop....

[Ryask]

Honestly..you know what helped me out of that place....medication.....and therapy...and i was very surprised it took less then a week..i went from sleeping 18hrs a day wanting to just stay in my safe bed forever...hating the world and everyone in it to...happy functioning..making goals...going back to school...loving my job..my life...getting my license....things can change.......medication isn't for everyone but..for me it helped...not sure if you have considered that route.

[BlackPup]

Agree with ryask, when you are sooooo depressed you need some meds to help you get better. Other things that can help are waking up and going to bed at set times, getting outside into sunlight, turning on lights during the day, exercise and eating regularly. Try and fill the times that you are awake with things that you enjoy like DVDs, internet, books etc.
All the best, will be thinking of you

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by dolphins76

I want my energy back, I want my motivation and drive back. The thing is I do not know my triggers yet so I have no clue what happened to get me to this point.

Hi dolphin. Our moods don't necessarily need to be triggered by anything. For me 60% of managing the illness comes from taking my medication the other 40% comes from eating well, exercising, therapy, etc.

I know it's hard, but when I'm depressed I just force myself to continue with my routine. Going to the gym, work, the stables etc. I find if I don't the depression becomes worse. You may also want to start tracking your mood. I use this online one: http://www.medhelp.org/land/mood-tracker

[sugahorse1]

Meds were what helped me. I walked into my pdoc's office and said that there's no way I can work, have a relationship and sleep 13 hours. I needed my meds adjusted.
My T has helped me with the depression as well, by highlighting that there actually is some light in that dark place, and that's where I need to be focusing

[dolphins76]

I am taking meds- they have been changed 5 times since June- I am on Depakote and Celexa. I am feeling like a test subject at this point lol. To day is a little better I have scheduled an appt with my pdoc for 2:15 today. I am going to ask her to refer me to a t that she trusts bc the ones where I live are not very helpful. I am trying to get on a routine but my brain will not shut down for me to go to sleep at a decent time. There are a lot of stressors in my life right now I am sure that is not helping at all. I have in a way given up on trying to fix the situation bc I feel like my strength to fight is gone. And then there are days like today where out of nowhere I get up make an appointment and am ready to grab the bull by the horns and try to get help. Thank you all for understanding where I am at. It is nice to have found ppl who do not take me for a monster and try to make me feel worse than I already do!

[BlackPup]

Best wishes for your appointment. Hope they can help....

It's really hard to get in a routine and stick to it even if you are well. so even harder when we are sick. so don't be hard on yourself... just do what you can.... try to forgive yourself for those days you can only stay in bed or can't get things done. But when you can set alarms, get up, have a shower, get dressed and get outside for a few minutes... make a list of lots of easy things like these and reward yourself for ticking things off - but don't beat yourself up over what you haven't done...

[blueoctober]

Hope your appointment went well dolphin.

[dolphins76]

My appointment went well, even though I broke down and cried in front of the pdoc. She has changed my meds again (surprise) this time to a new med called saphris? Do any of you know anything about this med. She also told me that I need to take my xanax 3 times a day instead of as needed she says she believes that is why I will not go outside or do anything where other ppl are involved. So we will see. I also told her about joining here and she said that she thinks its a great idea since there are no actual groups where I live. Anyway thank you all for taking time to read this it does make me feel better knowing you are or have been here too...

[sugahorse1]

Hoping the new meds work for you!
We all sometimes battle with feeling like a guinea pig, but unfortunately it is a hit-and-miss process to find the right meds; it takes time