[wifethatwas0102]

Tuesday my DH and I had this heartfelt romantic night together. Wednesday, he came home from work with all this extra energy. He said his body was moving and moving, but his mind was tired. He scrubbed the house, made dinner, paced around. By Friday, he was grouching and snapping at me. Saturday was my birthday, and he treated me pretty crappy. Yesterday he was home with our children all day. I found him at 7pm on the couch in his pjs. The kids were still in pjs. my littlest was in a SOAKED diaper. I had to make dinner and feed them because he hadn't moved. When I finally tried to talk to him, he went back to the same old story. He loves me but is not IN love with me. The feelings he had LAST MONTH have gone away..a.nd he's trying his hardest to sort it out.

Idon't know how much more of this I can take. I see the cycle. I want to tell myself that his feelings will come back when his mood stabilizes. But how long will that take? And how much more damaged will I be in the end?

he has is psych evaluation on February 10th to hopefully get his official DX. Our therapist is leaning towards BP2. I feel like I owe it to our family to stay long enough to see how he does with a dx and a tx. But I hate being treated so awful. I deserve better than a husband who loves me one week and dispises me the next.

I'm lost.

[Trippin2.0]

Oh hun, my heart cries out for you!

I pray that things get better for you real soon.♥

[sugahorse1]

Please hang in there until the psych evaluation. I really believe that if he has the correct diagnosis and is put on meds to assist him, he'll be back to his old self.

I dated someone who was BP (Before I was dx'd) and i know how irritating and scary it can be. At times it is so lonely, and evry step you take feels like you're walking on egg shells.

You need to look after yourself, then the kids. Give it time to the evaluation, if he gets put onto meds hang in there for max 6 months, and thereafter remember just how precious your life is, and that you really deserve to live it to the fullest

[wifethatwas0102]

I spoke with our counselor tonight, and she gave me encouragement to wait it out, we could survive. It feels impossibly living in an awkward household where we don't touch, we don't look at each other, we don't show the affection we always have. We're the couple that say I love before we leave, when we get home, every phone call. I have trouble functioning this way.

Do you think its too much to continue to tell him I love him and will stand by him...when he thinks he's not in love with me? When he stabilizes (either when his cycle ends, or when hes medicated..whatever comes first) that he still has me there, and he hasn't screwed up past fixing....but I also don't want him to feel rushed or pushed while he's depressed.

I feel like I should hate him for his behavior and harsh words...but I just feel sorry for him. He says, "how would you feel if you woke up one day and hated your life, you family, your job, your wife, and you wanted everyone to LEAVE YOU ALONE, but you didn't want to be alone?" What an awful feeling that must be.

Words of wisdom? How do I show him support without being too pushy?

[FeelingHopeful]

Wife that was, I think your doing right sticking by him, he needs you and once he stabilizes im sure he will see it,

[reader71]

I admire you for sticking it out with your husband. My bipolar disorder ruined my marriage, and I can now see why my husband coudln't take it anymore. Give the meds and therapy a chance to work and see how it goes. I'm sure your husband loves you very much--he just can't see past the misery he's in right now. Remember to take care of yourself and do nice things for yourself--are you seeing a therapist individually? I think it would he helpful.

[wifethatwas0102]

reader - we started in couples counseling months and months ago. She now sees us each individually when needed. I spoke with her last night, and she is trying to fit in a session for me this week if there are any cancellations. His next appt is the 2nd. We dont' have a couples scheduled out...and I don't think its the right time for that. I think we need to deal with his crisis as his crisis, and I need to deal with my coping as my problem. kwim? I hope my counselor can squeeze me in. she motivates me to be strong for myself and my children.

[reader71]

I am glad you like your counselor. I think it is good to do individual therapy right now. I hope things get better soon. I know how painful having a partner with a mental illness can be. How old are your children?

[wifethatwas0102]

our oldest is 3, and our younger is almost 18 months. So far, they haven't been effected much this time around. He hasn't seen them since Monday, so they haven't witnessed the weirdness between us, or his mood. I'm sure they'll pick up on it tonight if he comes home.

It is so frustrating to hear such hateful words, and have to try and look past them. How do I keep him from using that as a crutch for the rest of his life?

[mgran]

Hi there... I think you're doing the right thing sticking with him till diagnoses and treatment. When I was finally diagnosed it took about six months to get the right meds for me, and they made a huge difference.

A previous partner of mine is currently waiting to see a psychiatrist about whether he has bipolar or not. He's just wrecked a loving relationship with his wife, by saying the exact same thing... that he wasn't in love with her anymore. Then he came off his antidepressants (which weren't working) went manic, and became besotted with someone else... he's currently left his job, his home, and is spending every moment with this new woman.

If only his diagnoses had come in time, I think it would have made a difference. I'm glad that your husband has such a supportive wife, and that your children have such a lovely mother. Look after yourself, and bear in mind it does get better.