[Merlin]

Welcome to our forum! Come in and introduce yourself to other members!! This thread is place for new members to get the attention and feedback of the older members, or older members to give more information about themselves. They can discuss diagnosis, treatment or another other topic of their disorder and older members will respond.

I created this introduction thread due to the number of introductions posted on the "Bipolar Chat" sticky. The Bipolar Chat that I lead is now scheduled on Fridays at 9 PM EST. It will cover a variety of topics which will be posted in the chat announcement and outlines will also be posted for those unable to make the chats. The first Friday of the month Wingin'it will lead an open Bipolar Chat. Those will Bipolar are also invited to the Depression Chat on Wednesday at 9 PM EST, but there will be significant overlap in topic.

[Merlin]

My name is Laura and I live in western Canada. I have type II bipolar and post traumatic stress disorder. I am currently stable due to effective medication and am devoting the efforts I used towards getting well towards helping others get well too. I am a community rehabilitation worker and am taking a bachelors in social work focusing on mental illness.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Thanks for setting this up, Laura.

My name is Peter.
I was a part time musician, full time photographer, and am still a husband, and dad of 3 girls.
I am unemployed, and working day by day at reclaiming the lost ground in attention span, social skills, and the ability to use my brain again.

I had my first manic symptoms when I was 14. My parents were concerned with my strange behaviour and took me to our family doctor who didn't know what to make of it. Depression followed, then normality again. I stayed off psychoactive drugs, determined to beat it on my own. This went on for another 31 years before I finally saw a psychiatrist. Despite my suspicion that I was bipolar, he decided to treat my depression with Prozac alone. I immediately became severely manic, and began ultra-rapid cycling with mixed states.
Now 9 months later I am on Lithium and Epilim alone which seem to keep me out of depression, but I still spend a lot of my time in the land of impulsiveness, passion, midnight ambitions, and de-realisation experiences.

I have made a couple of very special friends here on Psych Central - friendships that may have been difficult to start, had we not had the protection of anonymity and assurance that we were in the same boat.

I hope everyone who joins us here will have at least that same special and encouraging experience.

[heather_82]

hi my name is heather. i am 28 years old living with bipolar. i need alot of advices. i have been going to groups im on meds that havebeen working really good now we found out one is trocts to my body. im going down on that pill and very worried beause i have come along ways but i am having trouble with my bf and what i doing to him.

[SingDanceRunLife]

Hi,

I mostly go by Sing here (some call me SDRL and other variations of my name though). I'm a 20 year old college sophomore, and although I have not (yet) been diagnosed with bipolar, my counselor suspects that I may be bipolar, I have been thinking that I have a number of symptoms, and my friends have noticed and commented on how I "fluctuate". I have my first pdoc appointment on April 15, so hopefully things will be figured out then.

[Polly23]

Hi Guys,
I am a new member. I am really looking forward to chatting with you all.
I was diagnosed with bipolar last fall at 41, after I went on my antidepressants for the 4th or 5th time. I would start them for 6 months or so, go off of them, then restart which led me into severe rapid cycling and I have pretty much lived in a mixed state on and off since. I was started on Valroic Acid and my dose increase then I gained almost 10 lbs in less than 3 weeks. I am to be reassessed next week, but I am a little scared as it seems it takes most of you alot of trials of different meds before you get the right combination.
Most importantly, I am a wife and a mother of 3 awesome kids and they are really my first priority. I hate to burden my husband with all the stuff it is so draining for me to keep on top of. And I would be fine if it was once or twice a week that I need to check out from everyone and go to bed after dinner, but I feel like that often and I fell like I deprive the kids their mom sometimes. Hate crying all the time too. However it's better than the irritability/agitation that comes with the hypomania/mania. I can be such a major "B". Got to try to get to sleep or I know I'll be in trouble tomorrow..Good night for now....

[bellearachne]

i was diagnosed bipolar about 4 weeks ago after being depressed, borderline, ptsd, ocd. ive been seeing therapists for 10 years and searching for the right meds just as long.

its been a rough four weeks i kinda always though i might be bipolar but have been in denial. more afraid of the stigma than of the disorder. what does it mean? for me? for my soon to be 7 year old son? for my family?

im scared of myself. not of harming others or myself but of not having control of my emotions. of the surges of happiness and depression, of my reactions to it.

i came here to find solutions as im feeling a bit pro-active today. if not solutions maybe reassurances or answers....something...

i hope to get the help i need and to be of some help to others.

thank you for this opportunity

bellearachne

[nerb]

I am Brenda, but most people call me Bren. Right now I am scared to do this, as the last time I was on a "support" board, one of the administrators verbally attacked me and made some personal threat because I tried to help the wrong person...a hacker. I had no way of knowing that the person was a hacker, and what they said hit home with me...basically I told them that if they were feeling Suicidal than they needed to call for help imediately. After a week of being belittled, and bashed by the "power-monger administrator" I was banned without any notice, or explanation. I was even called a hacker myself.

I was diagnosed with depression first, and then Bipolar. I think I have had it all my life, but was not diagnosed (with D) with until about 16 years ago. A month after watching, literately, my mother die of cancer, I completely fell apart. My T discribed it like a champaine bottle...once the cork was popped, everything came out without any control. The day that cork came out was the day I was first hospitalized, with what they thought was sleep deprevation. 11 years later here I am. It was not until about 5 years ago that we decided I was bipolar. I say we, because the doctor at the hospital, and my therapist, let me come to that diagnosis on my own. I think they knew before that, but they also knew that telling me I was bipolar would have freaked me out. Denial is a powerful thing. I think it was better the way they did it, as I figured it out myself.

Recently the hospital that is closest to me closed do to financial cut backs. This means that I won't have that safety net for when I fall. It also means that I no longer have Dr. S. who has helped me emencly. I still have my T, but when in crisis Dr. S was my savior. Now I have to travel over 100 miles if hospitalized, which means no family support when I am there. It is just too far to go for a few minutes of visiting.

[aubreypaigeee]

Hey! I'm Aubrey.. I just had a baby. I have lots on my plate, & sometimes I worry about not being able to support my daughter. I have made some major mistakes in the past, & I'm really trying to mature & grow up. I am bipolar, along with a couple other things.. & I'm thinking about getting some major help. I want to be an amazing mother, even though I'm very young & have lots of things to be worrying about (including myself). I just need to get my life back together.

[deprofundis]

Morning, all. My name is Rene. This is the first time I've ever considered talking to other people on a message board about my condition, my problems, my ongoing battle with Bipolar I, dissociation/depersonalization, and OCD tendencies. After 7 years of misdiagnoses (and a 2-year stint of intense treatment for Dissociative Identity Disorder, which I didn't have), I was finally diagnosed properly and put on the right medication. I'm a working professional and reasonably stable but with an everyday baseline of lingering depression. My life is empty. I don't do well with people. I've never had a single romantic relationship before, only brief encounters. I feel highly uncomfortable in crowds and around people I don't know. When I'm at work, that's the only time I can keep it fully together -- I literally split, into a different kind of person, to keep super-stable in my job and be able to handle being around other people and deal with my many responsibilities. The moment I walk out of the doors and get into my car to go home, though, this persona drops and I'm often then overwhelmed by exhaustion, irritability, and simmering depression. I don't know where I'm going in my life. I turned 27 this year and, while some people think that's young, considering what I haven't yet achieved or even gotten close to achieving, I feel like a complete failure. No relationship, no further in my chosen profession, no graduate degree, no financial stability, loads of debt from manic spending sprees, etc. On top of all of this, every day I think about the darkness. The days spent locked in my room, completely overtaken by severe, psychotic mixed episodes, filling whiteboards with what I thought was the secret of life itself... cutting, picking, and being self-destructive. Loss of any and all control. And, now, I constantly feel the need, the urge to get it back. To let go. To give up and let myself fall back into the darkness.

I guess I just didn't know where to turn, and so I turned here.

[kykid]

Hello everyone. I am here because I am actively searching for answers that will help me to cope with my Bipolar illness and the accompanying depression that is my normal state.

I have been on the same meds for about 5 years and am stable for the most part. I have come to believe that depression is my normal state and that I will have to use strategies other than medication and psychotherapy to deal with it. That is the key reason why I am here. It is to offer support to others with my experience and to seek answers from others who may have uncovered a method of coping that will help me.

I have been diagnosed for about 11 years, and have only had one psychotic episode, also about 11 years ago. This episode cost me my career, and after continuing and worsening problems, I went on disability in 2003. I still struggle with this as well but have come to accept that this is my life. Deal with it.

I also have found that by focusing on my spiritual side, that I am able to handle this illness better and better. In my mind, and for me, this is as important as medication and psychotherapy. For those of this bent, I would encourage you to pursue this spiritual connection in addition to your medication. For me, the benefits have been amazing.

[Merlin]

Originally Posted by kykid

Hello everyone. I am here because I am actively searching for answers that will help me to cope with my Bipolar illness and the accompanying depression that is my normal state.

I have been on the same meds for about 5 years and am stable for the most part. I have come to believe that depression is my normal state and that I will have to use strategies other than medication and psychotherapy to deal with it. That is the key reason why I am here. It is to offer support to others with my experience and to seek answers from others who may have uncovered a method of coping that will help me.

I have been diagnosed for about 11 years, and have only had one psychotic episode, also about 11 years ago. This episode cost me my career, and after continuing and worsening problems, I went on disability in 2003. I still struggle with this as well but have come to accept that this is my life. Deal with it.

I also have found that by focusing on my spiritual side, that I am able to handle this illness better and better. In my mind, and for me, this is as important as medication and psychotherapy. For those of this bent, I would encourage you to pursue this spiritual connection in addition to your medication. For me, the benefits have been amazing.

I am glad you came by for support and answers, these forums are invaluable for that and the chats, hosted or not, provide that as well.

I am glad you are experiencing stability, though it's unfortunate that your baseline still has depressive symptoms. There are a variety of non-medication treatments that we can discuss with you, such as exercise.

There are many people that believe in the importance of spirituality whether formal or informal.

[ParanoidAndroidMarv]

Hello, my name is Rory and I have been struggling with Bi-polar I for at least 10 years now, and while I am currently more stable than I have been for several years I feel the need to reach out for support in this forum. I have had a remarkable turn around after undergoing ECT treatments, have been on the same meds for a year and they seem to work fairly well. I also have been drug and tobacco free for nearly a year. I guess the trouble I experience most is dealing with the stigma of mental ilness and not having anyone other than a therapist to talk to. I look forward to getting to know people who can relate in one way or another. Thanks.

[Polly23]

Hi Rene,
Well...you are here, that is a great step. I am fairly new too here, but the people here all have similar stories and experiences to share.
Just wondering how long you have been on your new regime of meds and if so are they working for you effectively?
Hope you are having a better day....keep posting, even if you don't get a quick response, hopefully you will feel better just to get it out there.

[teresapooh98]

Hi all,
My name is teresa and I was officially DX with Bipolar in 2007 when i was hospitalized and even when i got out my old pdoc thought it was just major depression but the old pdoc had me change to my new pdoc so i could see him on the outside as well as in the hospital. With that new dx I was finally hoping to get on the right meds but it took 4 years and a new pdoc that does therapy too to get my on the right meds. Last year I was hospitalized every month and for the last three months i have actually been stable. I just started driving again after not driving for about 6 months because of my illness and afraid of getting into another accident. Hope to keep stable for many more months to come. I have been a member here awhile but haven't posted much or gotten to know people but i hope to change that.

[SingDanceRunLife]

I just wanted to update and say that I have officially been DXed with BP II, as of Friday.

[larakeziah]

Hi my name is Lara, i'm 26 and I live in England. I was officially diagnosed with Bipolar last September but have suspected it for a long time. I struggled all through my teenage years and finally spoke to my GP when I was about 21 and he put me on antidepressants, I didn't take them for long as they made me worse, (In hinesight they made me manic). He prescribed them a couple of times untill eventually I found PC and the people on here encouraged me to speak to my doctor, that was in 2009 and I saw a different doctor who was very concerned and sent me for a psych evaluation where they diagnosed me with severe depression. I saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with a mood disorder in oct 2009. I started to go to a mentalising group at the hospital in 2010 and they were concerned and sent me for another evalution in sep 2010 where I was diagnosed with Bipolar. I am still struggling to deal with it as are my family and friends but the people on here have helped so much so Thank you all!!

[unquietmind]

Hi Everyone. My name is Amy. I am not going to lie, I am feeling the BP grump today.

I started to treated for depression when I was 24 (I am now 31). I was on Prozac during that time, which only made my BP symptoms worse. I was continuously non-med compliant. In 2009 had my first major manic meltdown, although excellent therapy over the past two years has made me realize that I have been exhibiting manic behavior since my teens, but my depressive states are much more obvious, for lack of a better term.

Currently, I am BP II/NOS, Anxiety Disorder NOS & I suffer from Migraines. Fun. My trigger for my anxiety is my physical health, which I monitor in OCD-like fashion. My mania is aggressive, irritable and mean, but can be slowed by Klonopin, which I take on a daily basis, in addition to my current cocktail of Lamictal, Topamax, Verapamil & Omega-3. My personality has been like this my whole life, and I just thought that this was how life was. But realizing and accepting that I have a chronic illness that is never going away has been the most difficult thing for me to deal with.

Anyhow, through some miracle, I am happily married and gainfully employed as an attorney in Massachusetts. Hello to all, I look forward to speaking with you.

[Mommy2Five]

I am new to this sight and never even been on a chat sight but i need advice I took a psych test today and am waiting on diagnosis because for years I have been told i have depression and then sever depression and ptsd and recently ADHD so i am on alot of meds and they are thinking i am bipolar now so I guess i just feel like a big pile of mess right now! any advice? thank you

It is frustrating and confusing having various dxs, but there is overlap of symptoms sometimes, so it can be tricky to sort out. But remember that it is not about the labels, but finding what works for you in terms of treating them. Sorry that you are feeling like a mess. Hoping this perspective can be of help to you...

[confused777]

I am 50 yrs old & I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager, then in my 20's I was in an abusive marriage & had 2 children & suffered severe depression. I was but on Pamalor at the time & the depression subsided but never went away. I have always felt there was something wrong wih me, but my friends & people I knew would say I was a very smart person & why not snap out of it. I tried, read ever self help book & therapy but nothing worked. By the time I was in my 40's I was in my 2nd marriage, he was an alcholic....then my mother passd away, I found out that I was pregnant at 41, my husband became very abusive during my pregnacy, my father died & my world just crashed to the ground. I was hospitalized for the 1st time because I was theatning suicide. There I found out that I was biplor. I started seeing phyciatrist that put me on meds but didn't address the biplor. After a while things seem to be going a lot better & I quit my meds....what a big mistake. 2 more hospital stays & finding a wonderful phyciatrist that I have been with for 3 yrs I am just now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. However, I also have fibromyalgia & ADD. I haven't worked since 2007 & am on disability. From the outside people looking in don't think anything is wrong...my 7 yr old is an honor student that always gets awards, plays baseball & is in cub scouts.....but I hate to admit it that it is still a struggle to make it through the day most days....I am no longer suicidal & haven't been for a long time & I thank God for that & my faith in him that better days are ahead...I why I am telling my story is that I want to know who other people with biplor live & cope

[jmiles312]

Hi. My name is Janice and I was diagnosed with clinical depression about 6 years ago and then bipolar 5 years ago. Six months previously to being diagnosed with depression I got sober. The first 1 ½ years I had a lot of rapid cycling. From that time on I was on disability 6 months - worked 6 months until I went on long term disability 2 years ago last March. Since January nothing seems to be working and have been hospitalized once. My doctor and I are once again playing the med game and I am very much a part of this process. I get very frustrated with this disease.

[Moose2]

My name is Ashley. My boyfriend of 6 years has BP (mixed mania), as does his mother. He is a survivor of thyroid cancer and up until 2 years ago, was on medication for depression. He is a rapid cycler was recently put on Risperidone. He is also on Celexa and Lamictal. I am here to support him and to learn how to cope with my own anxiety issues.

[Merlin]

It's wonderful that you are so supportive. I hope that we can help you. There are also anxiety and caregivers forums here if you are interested.

[beaches95]

I'm beaches I was diagnosed with BPL almost a year ago. Its been a long road so far and feel like I need somewhere to turn, so here I am finally breaking out of my shell to try something new. I don't know what I am looking for, but the road can be a very lonley one so thank you for this opportunity and let the journey begin.