[wing]

Well said, Hope Walker. I'm so glad you have found meds that work for you, and I welcome you to PC.

[Phoenix_1]

Welcome lysias,
I'm new here too.
Like you, I had problems with severe depression and hypomania since I was 13 or even younger, but only received a diagnosis of Bipolar II on Thursday, June 20, two days ago.
I was diagnosed with Unipolar depression in 1984 after years of suffering, and I think I've taken every anti-depressant known to man.
I had a breakdown, severe depression, got fired from my last job because of it. I went to see my psychiatrist, and he sent me to "Day Hospital", which is an outpatient group therapy program for people with BP and Unipolar depression.
Sitting in the group day after day listening to everyone's story made me think about things that I've done. Some of the stories sounded a lot like me, even though I was supposedly "Unipolar".
My doc put me on yet another anti-depressant drug June 10, and by last Monday the 27th, I was off again on a hypomanic shopping spree, not sleeping anymore, and cursing and swearing all over the place. Lights went on and this time someone WAS home. I went to talk to my RPN and told her and my doc my entire life story.
I've been on lithium since June 30 and looking forward to getting well. Doc says once I respond to lithium he'll take me off the anti-depressants, and the 4 other drugs I'm on, cause I won't need them.

Originally Posted by lysias

Hello everyone

I've been diagnosed with BP II for about 3 years now though I've been struggling with it as far back as my teenage years. With an added dx of CPTSD/PTSD from childhood abuse and neglect I'm becoming increasingly confused about what means what and what to do about it all. I'm taking meds, I have a therapist, I attend a support group but there's so much I haven't said or shared.

I came across a quote from Maya Angelou: "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." I would like to share some of those stories as well as hear stories other people can tell.

Lysias

[wing]

Exchanging one med for 5? Now that's a great deal!! I'm glad that you finally got the right diagnosis and medication, Phoenix! Welcome to PC and the BP forum!

[Terri k]

Hi My name is Terri. I was diagnosed w/ depression in Sept. 2000. I was on meds for this. It was not until I had a bad breakdown, in 2003, and was hospitalized that I was diagnosed w/ Bi Polar. I am taking a few different meds, but, I still have so very, very bad days. I have not been able to get a grip on this diagnosis. I am so Happy to be a part of this group and Psych Central.

[imanut]

Hi. I just joined the forum. I was just asking myself, "how long have I been bipolar?" I'm glad to say, with treatment and meds I have been mostley stable for 2 years. It was a long journey. But I made it.

[wing]

Hi Terry! I'm so glad you found us and hope you'll find some answers here. Welcome!

[Phoenix_1]

Hi, saw my pdoc yesterday. Now I'm down to 4 drugs. How many of you take an anti-depressant with your lithium? I also take clonazepam (have taken it since 1987 and really doubt that it works anymore), and he gave me a sleeping pill, .

[wing]

Originally Posted by imanut

Hi. I just joined the forum. I was just asking myself, "how long have I been bipolar?" I'm glad to say, with treatment and meds I have been mostley stable for 2 years. It was a long journey. But I made it.

imanut, two years of stability is a long time...may it continue! It is truly amazing that the right combo of meds is out there for each of us. If only it were easy to find!

[wing]

Originally Posted by Phoenix_1

Hi, saw my pdoc yesterday. Now I'm down to 4 drugs. How many of you take an anti-depressant with your lithium? I also take clonazepam (have taken it since 1987 and really doubt that it works anymore), and he gave me a sleeping pill, .

Congrats phoenix! I'm on lamotrigine, not lithium, but I do take an antidepressant with it.

[livelaughlove17]

My name is Jennifer and I was diagnosed with bipolar II when I was 19. I am also what they call a "rapid-cycler" which is always fun. I have had my bipolar "under-control" for the most part the last few years, but the last several months have been filled with a lot of ups and downs. I am taking a proactive approach to achieving wellness and balance. I am hoping that in joining this community, I can learn new ways to cope with and manage bipolar disorder. I think it will be nice to have others I can relate to.

[mokie]

HI! I am still new on here. I am 40 yrs old and just recently accepeted that I do have BPI. It has been a long horriable road till now. I was first diagnosed in my early twenties but I thought I was given a med for just being more hyper then others. I was not aware how serious my diagnose was. I have done way too many bad things since I was always manic with depression thoughts, and psychosis at times. I know think the first signs were way before my teens. I am happly married to my high school sweetheart from age 13 and have a wonderful daughter of 16 yrs. They give me the support I need to continute to better myself to be in their lives. Even when I destroyed much of it but I know now that knowledge is power and that means I can be a better mother and wife to my family.

[wing]

Originally Posted by livelaughlove17

My name is Jennifer and I was diagnosed with bipolar II when I was 19. I am also what they call a "rapid-cycler" which is always fun. I have had my bipolar "under-control" for the most part the last few years, but the last several months have been filled with a lot of ups and downs. I am taking a proactive approach to achieving wellness and balance. I am hoping that in joining this community, I can learn new ways to cope with and manage bipolar disorder. I think it will be nice to have others I can relate to.

lll, a proactive approach is a great idea. Taking good care of ourselves can mitigate a bout with depression in particular. I hope you find support here!

[wing]

Awesome, Mokie! Having a supportive family is such a blessing. I have BP1 as well, so I understand some of what you've been through. I know you've done some posting already...I hope you continue being active on PC.

[changeme123]

HI
I am laura
I have been thinking I have Bipolar 2 for a long time - i self-medicated with drugs/alcohol during my manic phases, which left me thinking that i was just an addict.
I quit drinking and then the manias were more evident.
I believe that they were triggered by my antidepressants.
My Pdoc put me on Geodon but I am scared to take it. I am just scared in general. I have kids and a job and don't want these ups and downs but am afraid of taking the Geodon b/c the last time - he put me on Abilify and I had the worst mania of my life.
My DH is a pharmacist and said that the Geodon will be horrible.
Just need some support and some advice.
I am in a very sad state right now - coming down off the mania, drank last nite, was impulsive and hypersexual and now feel depressed. and shameful.
i cant live like this anymore - it is too hard. dont worry - no suicidal thoughts - i am just so exhausted from this. dh is not supportive b/c i am super good at keeping on the mask (which is exhausting in itself). he doesnt think this is as bad as it is. i am afraid to tell him the extent of it....because he will think i am crazy.
thanks

[changeme123]

I am new
I have been thinking I have bipolar for a while - but self-medicated with alcohol during my manias, which masked the illness. Once I quit drinking, I noticed the hypomanic episodes.
I have a long history of depression (since childhood) but the mania didn't kick in until i started taking Lexapro.
My Pdoc initially put me on Abilify which made me extremely manic.
He now prescribed Geodon. I am afraid to take it. My DH is a pharmacist, and isnt very supportive. nor does he know the extent of my "crazy brain." i am super adept at wearing the mask.
I am at my wits end, however, b/c after a period of abstenence, i drank again and was hypersexual last nite - and feel super scared and shameful, and down comes the depression now.
I just need some words of encouragement and a push to get my RX filled. I def can't live with these mood swings but again, afraid of "crazy meds."
THanks in advance,
Laura

[wing]

Welcome, Laura. Don't be afraid to try a new med...some combination will relieve the stress of holding up that "mask" and hopefully DH can see how much better you feel while taking them. Check the boards for others' experiences with geodon...it may help alleviate your fears abt taking it.
We all have done embarrassing things while manic...we just have to move on. Leave what's in the past back there. And forgive yourself.

[manicmanda]

Hi, I hope I am doing this right. Right now, I'm ManicManda. I feel that fits. But really, lately I am more despondent than anything. I began seeing a Th recently and he gave me a book to read on Manic Depression...I'm guessing that was his way of suggesting what he thinks I have. I've always thought I had some depression and some major ADD; however, I did look at the results of my ADD test at the Th office, and it said I have no attention deficit whatsoever. Of course, I am just good at taking tests, who knows? I have yet to talk to him again and get his opinions. All I know is that I have been up and down my entire life. I have abused drugs for years. I have an addictive personality. I can be a heck of a lot of fun. And when no one but my poor husband or mother is looking, I can be a complete emotional wreck. I hope to get through this. I've been on Prozac for years and have gone on and off of ADD meds (I don't like them). I've been instructed now to quit drinking and smoking pot, and I don't want to but I am, and it has left me very, very unsettled. I should be in bed right now, but I am not. I should be grading papers or making a test for my class I teach Monday, but I don't want to. I should be finishing a million abandoned projects, but I don't want to do that either. I would, however, love a good party.

[lostbythesea]

Originally Posted by Merlin

My name is Laura and I live in western Canada. I have type II bipolar and post traumatic stress disorder. I am currently stable due to effective medication and am devoting the efforts I used towards getting well towards helping others get well too. I am a community rehabilitation worker and am taking a bachelors in social work focusing on mental illness.

It is great that you are stable. still working on getting there. congratulations seriously.

[wing]

manda, sounds like you have a good understanding of how to take care of yourself if you are BP. That was a gentle way for your doctor to help you understand your symptoms. I've hope you've tried the Geodon by now, and that it has helpful.

[manicminer]

Hello all. I was diagnosed bi-polar at 20. I was told I needed to drop out of college and go to rehab for my alcoholism. Instead, I finished out the semester and through the help of my peers, began to control my drinking. I am now 23, a Penn State graduate and have a pretty good new job. The new job, however, is night shift and a 12-16 hour shift. I've had to develop new sleeping patterns, change my medication schedule, and now have lots of free time as I work 4 days on-4 days off. I also doubled my income, but this has been a problem because I have all this extra money to impulsively spend. I made over $4000 in the first month, when before I was getting by on $1000, and have no savings to show for it. I've not been getting enough sleep and it seems at least once a week I'm up for at least a straight 24 hours. I get to the point that I'm "too tired to sleep" and just keep going. I also got into a new relationship. Although I have not told her about my condition, she can see the toll its having on me. She tells me things like "you're crazy" and "like a zombie" and almost everytime I see her she tells me I need to go home and get some sleep and she's right. I'm afraid to tell her or any of my co-workers for fear of a negative result. any suggestions??

[wing]

Hi manicminer! I lived in "Happy Valley" for four years too. I barely finished thanks to my diagnosis at 21.

There are lots of threads on this forum about disclosing MI, in particular BP. You might want to read them before telling anyone anything.

It is extremely hard to work nights and not have your BP flare up. Maybe make an appt with your pdoc and ask for a sleeper? Your need for good sleep is #1. Would it help to sleep days on your days off, too? Kinda like becoming a night person all the time?

[Rose76]

Today marks 22 days in a row that I have not been bothered by depression. This hasn't happened for years. I used to go up and down. Then for some years now my diagnosis got changed from bipolar to Major Depressive Disorder. They've gone back and forth on it. A pdoc who treated me for 6 years told me on my last conversation with him that "I really do think you are bipolar." Then I got a letter in the mail saying that he would not continue to be my doctor.

It seemed like me getting upset and irritable with him was what made him make that statement. Though he sounded like he really believed it. So I'm coming here to those who apt to know the ins and outs of being bipolar.

Do pdocs tend to regard bipolar disorder as something they tend to dagnose when they feel a patient is getting to be too frustrating to deal with? Then I was told I had Bipolar II, then it was called cyclothymia. (That sounded realistic.) Then an Advanced Pratcice Nurse at a new place I went to insisted that I was bipolar. Then the pdoc at where I go now seems to not thnk so. He said it was Major Depressive Disorder.

I've become fascinated with cleaning my apartment. This really feels like hypomania, which I believe I've had recurrent episodes of all my life. I sure feel great when I get them, and boy do I get all sorts of things accomplished. I haven't had a high-energy, hardly need to sleep mind set, like this, in a long time. I feel younger.

Do any of you know: Is it hard for a pdoc to sort out if a person has bipolar verses something else? I don't get real manic, don't lose contact with reality . . . but I sure get full of a mighty zest for life,

So I'm wondering if I may be on the bipolar spectrum, somewhere. (????) How I feel just seems too good.

Anyone here been diagnosed and undiagnosed with bipolar disorder? What are they looking for?

[wing]

Hi Rose! I'm glad you're feeling great! What a relief it is to be depression free.

This link is to the "DSM-IV" which is the book of criteria doctors use when diagnosing a patient with BP:

http://www.fortunecity.com/campus/ps...gy/781/dsm.htm

There is a new edition, DSM-V, coming out in 2013 that is more detailed and splits the mood disorders into more categories. Here is a link to that. You don't have to register to explore the site. I believe the registration is for input from professionals.

http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevision...Disorders.aspx

Since this basically a "hello" thread, you may want to move yours out into the main Bipolar forum to be more easily seen and replied to.

[Rose76]

Wingin'it, Thanks very much. I will check out the link. Also, I will post in the main Bipolar forum. Thanks for the guidance. I was confused about where to go. It truly is a huge relief to have depression leave me. I got so interested in everything last night that I have stayed up all night. Not so good to do.

[wing]

I don't worry too much about a sleepless night or two...three or more and I make a call to the doctor. Be aware if your symptoms escalate, but enjoy your hypomania, Rose.