[estimated prophet]

God used to get me through everything when i was younger. Then around my senior year a neighbor who i knew my whole life, drown in the ocean on vacation trying to save a little boy who was drowning when lifeguards were off duty. When i heard the news i guess i couldnt understand why God would let this happen. Anyway since then i finally got very spiritual again (through mania). But after i started meds i lost God again. I understand that its me who is lost, i guess i am asking for advice on getting found. Thank you in advance.

[SunAngel]

I don't know how to help you because God and Religion are very personal things for people.'
'
I have found that posting about God or Religion can make the boards I have belonged to go crazy with everyone having a different points of view.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

[estimated prophet]

Originally Posted by SunAngel

I don't know how to help you because God and Religion are very personal things for people.'
'
I have found that posting about God or Religion can make the boards I have belonged to go crazy with everyone having a different points of view.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

thank you. I am not asking for peoples direct opinions on God. Just some advice from people that may have found their way out of the same hole i am in right now. I understand the unwritten law about not talking about religion or politics. Call me an out law.

[lynn P.]

This is the way I look at handling disappointments. I know its very hard when someone who's young and good dies at a young age. My own father passed away when I was 2 and left 5 children at the age of 34. I often wondered why would God take my father when he was needed by his children and wife. Even babies and children die - I think some religions think God is a punishing God - so when we suffer a disappointment, we think "God must be getting even with someone" or we look for reasons why. The fact is, we can't find a reasonable answer why a young person dies - it just happens and when you think of it, they're in a better place.

I don't think its fair just to love or believe in God when good things happen. God also isn't taking those we love to punish us, so therefore we shouldn't lose confidence. Some religions also give the indirect message that if we're good, then nice things will happen and sometimes they do. Unfortunately bad things also happen to good people too. In addition, I've found bad experiences have lessons in them and sometimes good can come out of bad experiences. I hope this helps.

[madisgram]

a drowning i see as a life event not anything to do with our spirituality. BTW a gentle reminder about pc's guidelines re religion.
my contact with a higher power has greatly improved my outlook and acceptance in life. i believe sometimes a person that leaves is used as a means/catalyst to gather those that loved the diseased together again. my father died at 45, mother at 60. since that time i value my close relationships even more.
is you "are seeking, you will find. if you knock, the door will be opened for you."

[lynn P.]

Maybe this thread could be moved to the Spitituality forum - there its okay to talk about God in a general sense, without specifically talking about certain religions.

[estimated prophet]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

Maybe this thread could be moved to the Spitituality forum - there its okay to talk about God in a general sense, without specifically talking about certain religions.

i did not know there was a spirituality forum. I willl definately check it out. Thank you!

[MickG]

God to me is not a man on a throne but more like the Great Spirit of a Native American tradition. It is something greater, a master orchestrator of the universe, a great composer of life. It is seen through the mystery of its work and felt through the pauses of the rests.

If God is the composer then who is the conductor? The conductor is the interpreter of the “law” or music--the director of the dance. “Music is a moral law...” - Plato

When I lose my place I just wait for the "rest" and trust I will be found.

Wishing you peace and all the best. Take care.

[estimated prophet]

Originally Posted by MickG

God to me is not a man on a throne but more like the Great Spirit of a Native American tradition. It is something greater, a master orchestrator of the universe, a great composer of life. It is seen through the mystery of its work and felt through the pauses of the rests.

If God is the composer then who is the conductor? The conductor is the interpreter of the “law” or music--the director of the dance. “Music is a moral law...” - Plato

When I lose my place I just wait for the "rest" and trust I will be found.

Wishing you peace and all the best. Take care.

thats awesome. I guess my ultimate quuestion is do i have to move forward and keep looking? Or can i sit here and wait for "it" to come back to me?

Any truly religious or spiritual person needs to overcome their mundane situations as a test of their faith. Once they've bettered themselves through the situation occurring in their life, it's uncanny how their religious/spiritual figure(s) will show back up into their life to guide them. No higher power does everything for you or decides what direction you choose to go in life-- We have free will & must meet them halfway. Though religious belief may be full of hope, it is not for the faint-hearted. It is laden with death, disease, & heartbreak. But once you personally come to terms with those destructive concepts, you're better equipped to revel in its' joys, for they are beliefs just as focused on life as they are on afterlife...

That is just a small amount of my opinion. My spirituality is all over the map, but the messages are the same, no matter what creed you follow. I think you still need to get over the mourning process & come to terms with what happened to your friend. If you're unable to feel religious while medicated/stable, you may not be after all & you are merely feeling the backlash of your religious upbringing. It's not to say agnosticism or atheism don't have good points in & of themselves, as science & exploring belief without committment aren't bad things! But... I hope you find what you're looking for & you figure yourself out.

[MickG]

Originally Posted by estimated prophet

thats awesome. I guess my ultimate quuestion is do i have to move forward and keep looking? Or can i sit here and wait for "it" to come back to me?

I think it is cool that you are searching for something. I have found support in a number of places...in a person's smile or note and it helps. I have found that in times I sort of get cloudy and lost it feels deep inside that "it" is finding me.

Here's to our setting off a beacon and I hope "it" finds you well. Take care.

[kaliope]

i lost my god as my mental illness progressed. i attempted to use a 12 step program to restore me to sanity. i mean its right there in a step...came to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity...in the how it works portion that is read at the beginning of meetings it talks about being at the gates of insanity or death..i was at both. i jumped in whole heartedly chosing god as my higher power and spent years and years and years practicing the principals of this program, waiting for the reward, my sanity. and i never got it. god had to hate me, why else would he punish me so and make me to suffer continually. after about 7 years i finally quit god. that was many many years ago. i obviously have god in my life still because i still carry that anger. im working on saying hello each morning as i drive past a church on my way to work. i figure i will come around on day.

[Secretum]

I was raised Christian, spent 2 years as an agnostic in high school, and then converted back. I believe that my reconversion was God's decision, not at all mine. He allowed me to live in the dark spiritually for awhile so that later I would appreciate the light.

I'm not a saint. I struggle with my religion on a daily basis, and sometimes I don't feel like someone who knows God at all. But my God loves broken, inadequate people like me. I hope that God finds you soon. I'm sure he's planning on it.

I hope that I haven't offended anyone. I am just stating my experiences and beliefs; I understand and respect that we are all different.

[mgran]

I was talking to my son about this a while ago. Before I was on medication I heard from God all the time, felt His presence so clearly. One reason I was afraid to talk to psychiatrists was because I was afraid they'd see my religion as delusional. Well, I still believe, but I don't seem to care as much anymore. My son asked me did I miss hearing from God, I said yes... of all the things I've lost that one hurts the most. I do not believe that my sense of God was a symptom, but He seems so much more distant now. And the worst thing is that I don't even mind as much as I used to.

[SunAngel]

Ok, since everyone else has answered this, I will. I question my faith on a daily basis. I am very spiritiual, but it changes almost daily, especially when I hear about needless tradegies.

I even asked my GP about what her thoughts are on if there is a God or not, and she told me that she really didn't know. She said she was an agnostic. I asked her if her faith changes and she told me that she doesn't think it changes as fast as someone with BP changes their beliefs.

I really hope you find what you are searching for.

In any case, no matter what someone believes (or even if they don't), we all go to the same place. No one knows where this place is because it is limited by human perspective. Believing in something makes some people comfortable while other people feel stifled by a lack of measurable proof. But I'm really fine with anything, from Islam to Satanism, so long as they treat other people with tolerance & don't use their religion as a crutch to do harm to innocents.

[Sophia57]

I am a Christian, and over the years of reading the Bible, prayer and study, I have discovered that there are no promises in the Bible that life will be all good. In fact, the Bible says in James 1:2-3 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."

In Romans 5:3-5 it says "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

Sorry if I am too strong, but I have just heard it said too many times, particularly in the religious media that if you serve God, you will have a perfect life. I have major illnesses besides bipolar and a reconstruction surgery that failed, and yet I have more peace and I am closer to God when I was healthy and young.

Faith in God is about trusting that what he does is best. I don't know why your neighbor died, but I do know that God is in control. Please trust him, and you will find true peace of mind and joy. That is what has worked for me.

[BlackPup]

I have struggled to know what is real and what is the illness talking.... In the end I hold on to what I know is true and that is what stays with me through all my moods, my faith in Jesus... in Him I have hope....
All the best to all who are searching.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by BlackPup

I have struggled to know what is real and what is the illness talking.... In the end I hold on to what I know is true and that is what stays with me through all my moods, my faith in Jesus... in Him I have hope....
All the best to all who are searching.

This is exactly where I'm at. For the last year I have been rapid cycling, struggling with overwhelming impulses to kill myself, feeling totally out of control, hearing voices and seeing macabre scenes that confuse me, and the only way of being sure I'm facing the right direction is to put my hope in an external source of truth. One I can be sure of. What God has said and done and promised in the Bible is where I have anchored my hope. And still it is a nauseating battle, like standing blind folded on the plank of a little pirate ship in rough seas. I'm really looking forward to making it through this dark time.

[redtape]

In my my humble opinion religion is a state of mind. Kind of like the power of positive thinking.

[Rosalee1980]

I'm sorry your faith has been shaken. Possibly in your grief, your emotions are all mixed up. Meditation and prayer have helped me in the past. You must be still and listen.

When you feel peace and acceptance, you will know God has spoken to you.

I am sorry for your loss, but sometimes there is no answer to WHY?

[OneDown]

Originally Posted by estimated prophet

God used to get me through everything when i was younger. Then around my senior year a neighbor who i knew my whole life, drown in the ocean on vacation trying to save a little boy who was drowning when lifeguards were off duty. When i heard the news i guess i couldnt understand why God would let this happen. Anyway since then i finally got very spiritual again (through mania). But after i started meds i lost God again. I understand that its me who is lost, i guess i am asking for advice on getting found. Thank you in advance.

I guess I'm in the same boat; I have often looked at my life and all I'm going through and wondered "Why me?" I watched my faith get destroyed by a voice in my head and a bunch of religious people who are proof that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". I think that, for me, the simple asking and searching for God is proof that I still have some faith, even if I have a lot of anger to go with it. I am still searching, hoping to find my answers, but I also realize that the journey of the search matters just as much (if not more) than the destination, even if none of the questions are answered in the end.

I'm sorry you're going through all of this, and I wish I could offer you something more than my answer. Everyone seems to experience or have experienced a "dark night of the soul" where all you can do is press forward and hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't see it. Just know that you're not alone.