Just try to think good i get told

i'm not sure if this fits with my bipolar or other dx but my last session i told my t about something i get upset about recently here. I do try best to think of good things but yet it doesn't help- i'll twists those good things into illusions. I can't help it some times- i can get then confused on real or what's my mind making up. I was just wondering if anyone else has been told such a thing and if so what has worked for you to keep the good things and not still get "blue" or tail spin into worse thoughts. Thanks

No, beauflow, I can't say that it has ever worked for me--not when I was I kid, not now that I'm old. I guess people mean well or are trying to be supportive, but I think they must never have been clinically depressed (bipolar or otherwise).

If I could "think" myself happier of course I would. There's no "why" I'm tailspinning into that black hole. It's chemical--not choice or lack of will. If someone says, "keep your chin up!," I now longer say that it's not my chin, it's my brain chemistry. They just don't/can't get it.

My tdoc has said this sort of thing too, so even the educated can not-get-it on some fundamental level.

Anger is a big enemy of mine. I have trouble forgiving these people. I try to just brush them aside, like a stray thought in meditation, before I focus on them entirely.

Maybe that can help you. Take care--it's not just you.

I've been trying to think good thoughts for the past few days...sometimes the thoughts get better, and I rationaly know it's the disease....but ah....I'm still in bed or on the computer. Thinking good thoughts but dying inside.

Thank you both. Yeah road runner i get mad at such things as well cuz it's like not many understand, and if my thoughts could just drag me out and be happy it be nice. It could be with t it's just a precaution like if ppl could but sadly i'm not one that can. I'm odd though cuz my dad use to tell me "good positive thinking can go a long way" i still keep hold on that, it's hard to remember or except when blue but still with his sayin to me as a child i try to keep hold even if it doesn't work 100%

Forever yeah- i can try to appear happy and force me to do stuff but then i feel fake inside or like you say feel dead inside. It's an awful feeling.

Sigh i talked more on meds but i just worry meds wont help that much or do more damage than good to other parts of me. I see a new pdoc cuz i didn't care for the first one i saw but That's in december ! Part of me wishes it was sooner especially with the holidays coming, and even thou this october i've tried hard not to be sad- still am at times, feel chaotic in my head :-| but thank you guy. Yeah i'm recently accepting it's brain chemicals. I still feel weak thou

They put me on pristiq, and that has worked wonders. I have good days for the most part. But I've had a really bad week with a few major major things happening....so I had a break through depression for the past week. Today was the worst day of it. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better. Hope Hope. I live for manic days. LOL

I'm sorry you're going thru such a very hard time, Forgive. I hope that with today, the worst of it is over. Tomorrow brings a sunrise for sure--let's hope sunshine too.


beauflow, how about trying to move up your pdoc's appointment? At the very least, they could put you on the list for the first available cancellation. Worth a try?

Ya...I called today, and she didn't call me back. That caused some anxiety...plus ticked me off. Maybe she's testing me. I don't know. LOL

Forgive i hope sun shine for you tomorrow too. I'm sorry you called but no answer. Some times i wonder with it all as a test too it's complex though and get told no it's life

December was the earlist for this pdoc- i go throu the county. but i could ask if any cancellations my next t appt which is in begining of november. i don't like calling ppl either

It's so annoying how difficult it is to find decent mental health care. Most decent psychiatrists are booked for months... I hope you can get on the wait-list, Beauflow.

As for the topic of the thread, I too have been told this by a therapist. My problem is that my thoughts are very disconnected from my emotions, which in turn are disconnected from my actions. I can see that a negative thought I have is irrational, but still feel really bad about it.

I don't know if it's that you should have "good positive thinking" so much as... "excepting the present moment" whatever that might be at that moment.

If your sad, then your sad- except that your sad. Look at it from within and acknowledge it. The quicker you do, the faster it will dissipate. If you're thinking too far into the future...STOP. If you're fretting on the past....STOP. All that will do is create suffering in the present moment, which is all we ever have.

If you're in the throws of an episode perhaps you will not be able to be "present" however you can give it a try...Stop thinking, even for a few seconds...focus on your breathing and nothing else and you will at that point be in the present moment.

beauflow first & foremost, be kind to yourself!

take those deep breaths, do the best you can "in those moments".

hang on to those good thoughts, if there's a dip, they pass eventually.

You may want to ask your T if you can work on a workbook during your sessions.
Something like this:
http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Workbo.../dp/1593851626

It can help you structure your sessions by working on it for half the time then talking about your emotions etc the other half.

If you decide to use a workbook, make sure you tell your T so they can get a copy of it and look through the material. This way they will do a more effective job of guiding you through it. (These often include homework assignments that you can work on outside of sessions)

I hope you can get a new pdoc appointment. Best of luck!

Thanks all...
I agree with breathing- at times that is what saves me- hold my head and breathe- other times I can not stop doing what I am doing to breathe though (especially if upset with crying when "blue")- it's hard to explain for me. With the out of control crying alone- i will rock myself on the floor or couch, it helps in away, focus on the rocking to calm down... but idk never feel fully grounded after such episodes.

Maybe my dad was meaning "excepting the present moment"; but I never interpreted it that way- just to try to keep positive as best as could. Positive and Positive makes positive- unlike negative and negative- which just goes towards more negative.. Unfortunately I can not ask him these days what he really meant.... But that is a good view as well- to except the present moment- what is going on in the now. That goes with being in the moment right, that is something I am working on more so now days too.

It at times is hard to stop with thoughts-some time I can, other times I can't- it gets frustrating! Just like thinking and not thinking at all but think I am thinking... :-/ that is hard to explain I am sure that there is a better way.

I like the work book idea- but I am not sure if my T would be up to that- maybe she would.... IDK some times i feel like I just rambling in sessions... she gives input but usually it is stuff that i already know- but then again she does give input on assuring me things, and also she has helped guide with some things and gives something new...

thank you all again- guess it gives me some thing to think on more too.

You know, you don't have to complete the book. You can just do parts that pertain to your life.

I have found that working on self confidence helps positive thought come easier. When you don't feel good about yourself it's hard to think good things of others etc.

That is very true- I may check out the book myself and do it on the side- therapy for me is short any who- I go till March 2012 and basically was told that is it unless therapist see's other wise to continue- which If I do decide meds- I hope they do make a follow up appt. ever so often (I am sure they do- Just I have never been through this all and no one really in my family went to and the few that did go to therapy did not stick it through or share their whole thing with it).

I am working on a DBT Work book right now (or sort of working) i got upset with it but I will get cracking on it again cuz I hope to find some help in it.

Perhaps none of what I'm going to say will make sense to you, but here goes- What I meant was if you're sad and you are not acknowledging the sadness it won't go away and the positive thinking is a front, a mask, denial of what "IS".

The sooner you say "Ahh yes I SEE it in me", sit with it, feel the pain...BUT know that this too shall pass. Perhaps the sadness is a feeling, not thoughts focus your attention "within" on the feeling- cry, scream, punch a pillow, whatever to release the "energy" of the sadness within....then let it go.

If the sadness (sadness being just an example) is created and re-created through thoughts, then examine where they are stemming from....is the "mind" trying to "create" problems in your "present moment"? You don't have to stop the thoughts (if you can't), but be the watcher of your thoughts and catch yourself when it's happening.... when the mind is trying to get you to think of "problems" and only "problems", then you have been taken over by the mind.

Instead of "you" using the mind as a tool to function in this world, "your mind" is using you to create dysfunction in the "now", your "present moment".

With my last episode my mind had completely taken me over AGAIN and madness ensued. It has taken time and stability of mood for me to be able to not let my mind run amok now in my present moment and when I see it trying and it still tries...I now catch it in progress or shortly after and give a little chuckle....then I say "Is this REALLY a problem? or just my mind trying to make it a problem".....

Dijmart i'll be honest i think i get some of that but i know i don't get all of it. I understand to a point the puttin on the mask/denial of sadness anger emotions is not an answer- but yet how to feel those at times. Anger more issue i think with me on that. I go to sleep a lot after maddening things happen which then leads usually to sadness. Need to work on that i know, but yet to act and feel it- idk if That's good. Like i said i understood what was posted to a point i know the mask the fake face denial is not the correct way. And i get part i think on *mind creating issues ie something in the present triggers some thing in me of past that at some way i feel is the same but isn't. Try best to catch that stuff as best as i can. I realize at some point- "gasp the feelings of how my mother or someone else use to make me feel and i'm taking what's going on now like that even thou it's not the same"- ie my boyfriend is just caring- not doing what my mom use to. I try best to catch those but usuall after thoughts is where is arises rather than the now in sense. :-| don't know if that makes sense. But other thoughts idk where they come from well logically i know most stem from past but why the arise again idk why. Need work i know but try my best. Hope i'm not totally on a different page of what your trying to tell me. I do appreciate it but idk- :-| sigh. But thank you. I don't get stuff sometimes like even in the work book i'm doing some of it i have to redo cuz i didn't get it the first time. Frustrating thou keep trying

"10 Things Not to Say to a Depressed Person
By THERESE J. BORCHARD
Associate Editor

CBS News and Health.com published a nice gallery listing what you should and shouldn’t tell a depressed love one.

I have my own list. Here are 10 things you definitely don’t want to say, a collection of the gems that I heard when well-intentioned people opened their mouths and said something really stupid to me the two years I was in sorry shape.

1. It’s all in your head. You need to think positive.

Upon hearing this, I wanted to throw a life-size figure of Tony Robbins at them. Because, while optimism is certainly important in training the brain, studies have shown that people who are severely depressed or acutely anxious only activate their amydalas (fear center of the brain) by forcing positive thinking."

I didn't copy the rest, beauflow. This was one of the newsbot stories, but I thought you'd be interested in the #1 point this writer made.

For many years I always tried to change the thoughts first. In group I learned to change the behaviors first, then the behaviors would work on the thoughts and the thoughts would work on the feelings. Like a triangle shape. Meaning the little behaviors we can change, have a shower, take a walk and work our way up. This approach might not always work or work slowly. But it has worked for me. I too have been told to just think positive. That had never worked for me in that order.

Thanks Anika.....that make sense. Good point. I always wallow in it. To lazy to push through...I'll try next time. Esp the bathing. sigh....

Author Eckhart Tolle would call that your "pain body" wanting to feel old hurt and pain, but creating it out of new situations that arise in the now, present moment. His book is called "the power of now" if you want to know more about it.
Peace and love to you. Hope you feel better soon!

I think in a way you can change your thoughts. At least learn to catch the overly irrational once and recognize them as such. You can learn not to dwell on bad ****... too much.

I mean, does not change the mood. But it seems to help at times to bear it, when we get too deep.... or too high. You can set the emotions aside when needed... you know to function. Life is easier when you appear normal. Not easy, just easier.

Thank you all again for your replies. I'll try better. I'll have to really read and take them in later not doing well at mement with what went on just last night on my way to work. But i wanted to say thanks again. You all are great

Whatever happened, I hope you're okay. We care & we're here for you.

Thanks road runner. Crashed car into a sign and field. I'm ok physically-and no one else involved which i'm so grateful for i really am. I don't want to think too hard if it was different and trust me i'm feeling horrible and big reminder on being more careful. I'd be worse if some one else was involved. the car idk if ok. hope it's not too bad. Just a snow ball effect cuz i have to go to court- i thought the car was insured but it wasn't which is my and my boyfriend's bad. And my boyfriend owns the car's title but registration got put off. So like i'm stressing his sister will be mad about this all which then their mom will be mad. I'm trying to find it as an accident. Not a sign not some thing bad. And i'm going to go see about non owner's insurance cuz i don't own a car, But it'll help in court to get it now. I feel bad still. Cuz like we can't afford this and i'm worried how much the tickets and the sign damage is. I want to go to court sooner to get it done with and know.