Been a long time.

Hello to everyone My mind is racing today, but, I have some very important questions I would like opinions on. I haven't been here for quite a while, because I was hospitalized, and then stayed with different people, trying to work things out. First, how do you feel about your cards being read, it may be stupid to some people, but, I am totally freaked out about it, my daughter had it done, and, what they told her about me, and my husband, was so very true, I'm in panic mode. She was told, my husband has explosive anger issues, that he was abusing me in some way, not sure of verbal, or physical. She was also told that I need to talk to a priest immediately, or get daily counseling, immediately. I have so much going on, there is something going on in my life that is so bad, I can't tell anyone, but, feel like if I don't tell someone, I'm going to implode. I only have my GP, all other docs are too far away, there's no way I can get there. I know, I'm rambling, is there anywhere I can post, and, not be judged?? Not that anyone here is judgmental, just very private issues. Hope this makes sense, I know I don't sometimes

Kj, so glad to see you back, but so sorry its under such crappy circumstances (as if we seek out PC cos we feel so fabulous) please post away old friend. Any and all topics welcome, its about you over here. No judgement here, I'm sure you know that. Feel free to PM me if you're not ready to go public

I'm thinking you mean Tarot cards? I've had very accurate readings by skilled, sensitive people. Depends on a lot of things--much like astronomy. These can be a tool, of some limited use in the hands of the wise and talented.

For truly private issues, I'd stick to PMs with people I trust. PMs can include up to 10 people.

Wishing you well,
Roadie

Nice to see you back again Kelli. No not gonna judge you here. We ALL have stuff. I hope if you need to get it out or off your chest you will feel safe enough to do so. pm is a good idea like Trippin and Roadie said. I'm always here for you too.

I hope whatever it is, you will find a way to resolve it.

Hi Kj welcome back! Sorry to hear about hospitalization and staying different places, sounds like rough times, I hope you are ok. We are here for you, to listen and not judge. Talk about whatever you want and are comfortable with. Sending you good thoughts, prayers and hugs.
I agree with Roadie, the tarot can be an interesting tool.

Hello. I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

I read cards and I can tell you that they are tools. The way they are tools is that they tend to point to things in your life that you may need help with. I'm pretty good at reading and accurate, I don't feel they accurately predict future events so much as give "a plausible outcome if you continue in the direction you're going." But we all have free will and the ability to change our path, so if you can see your situation from a different prespective (or be made aware of it,) then you can change the outcome.

Now, with your daughters reading it sounds like it pointed out a few situations that are troubling your family. It may be something that it is time to address for everyone's health. Also it could point out that you need to see someone because you do have bipolar so cards aren't specific enough to pick that up to a reader necessarily (or that you are already seeing someone.)

I feel you have no need to panic. You know your situaton best and perhaps there are some things to talk over with your T or something. Maybe talk to your daughter as well because maybe there are things bothering her and this is why it showed up in her reading. It will be okay. Cards are just tools and they are not always correct.

I think it would be more effective if you list the issues and your feelings about them. Welcome back!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! It's a long story, going to try to make it short as possible. You will have no respect for me when you hear this, as, I have none for myself.
I have been married 19yrs.. My husband had an affair, I caught him and took 60mg. of Ativan, new script I had. I don't remember anything, just waking up in hospital, apparently I called my sister for help. After being released, I stayed with my mom for 2 months, mind you I left home at 15. Then, I stayed with my daughter for a month. My husband called to tell me a friend of ours passed away, and, I ended moving back home. We live in a small town, no bus system, no where to get a job. My license is suspended for tickets, and, even if I had a license, he sold my car. Now, I'm being pressured to do things I don't want to do. Some days he is really nice to me, some days really mean. I feel sick, I have lost alot of weight,40+, and, I can't do it anymore. I have thought about being homeless often, I don't know if I can do it. Thanks for listening, I almost got it all out!
Kelli

Thank you for that information! From what she told me her reading was very accurate, but, I have a question, if you can help me. This person who read her cards, also told her someone was sick, and didn't know it, or was going to pass in Feb.. Is it common practice to tell someone that?? Sorry don't want to bother you, but, it really disturbs me! Thanks again

Hey Kj So So sorry your having such a rough time.

Your situation certainly isn't a healthy place to be.Many of us "over used" our medications at some point. At least you got help!

As far as being pressured into doing things you don't and or can't do that's your right as a human being. If your husband is being abusive physically or verbally you need to figure out if you have a safe place to go whether it be family or a womans shelter.

You do have a right to be safe , access to medical care and most of all be accepted and cared for.

Take care of YOU !

Nothing you've said thus far has made me lose my respect for you, and I doubt I ever will. You've been to hell and back, I'm proud of you for you are STILL standing Your overall safety is of utmost importance. Are you emotionally and physically safe? You deserve to be loved, respected and adored

Well, first off, I don't know why anyone would lose respect for you after your story! You deserve love and compasion not disrespect. It just sounds like you've had a terrible time recently.

Secondly, as a reader I would never tell someone that anyone was going to die. To me, that's a sign of a bad reader. Like I said, the cards do not predict the future. They can only give you a possible outcome of things which can be changed at any moment. Especially when it's really vague like that... I call this "scare tactic reading." And it's what causes so many people to belittle people who use cards or read them. It's usually a sign of, "If you come back for another appointment I may be able to tell you who is sick, who will die." It's like the whole "end of the world" type predictions. You know? that's how I feel about it.

I cant agree with trippin, christina and DH more. No respect lost for yo what so ever. I really feel for you. I know what it is like to have an abusive controlling husband, with afairs, no car, no family around. And we share that connection of having lived on the streets. But the streets have nothing for you. What I mean by that is the streets lack the gentleness that you deserve. I also relate to taking bottles of medicine.

Can you go to a womens shelter like christina mentioned? They can usually even transfer you to other shelters to be near family. I went through shelters to leave my ex and they really helped me. The womens shelters were nothing like the homeless shelters.

I hope you can be strong and get away from him. You don't deserve to be treated that way. That's the thing about abusive people, they usually go through bits of being super nice and loving, and super abusive, and usually just worst the longer it goes on.

You need to just worry about you right now, and what you need. Please keep posting if that helps. I wish I could come help you in real life. Your story just breaks my heart.

That is a lot of Ativan to gulp down... You poor thing. Also, your story is so typical, yet you have such a fear of losing someone's respect if you tell it! That's amazing! And you still withhold the things you are being pressured to do and use a phrase that avoids putting responsibility on the person who is pressuring - reread what you wrote, in the passive voice, "I'm being pressured to do things I don't want to do." "you are being pressured" sounds almost as if it were YOUR fault that you are being pressured! Have you ever noticed that you talk in a way that makes you the one to take the blame for everything?

Why did he sell the car - did he have the title to your car? I do not think you can legally sell someone else's car - at least in California I know you cannot, because each sale needs to be registered with the DMV.

Have you felt this way all your life ("they will judge and disrespect me if they hear my story") or is it an attitude that you have acquired through the marriage?

Thank you for saying that, it means alot!!

I love your answer it makes me feel better, it really does.

I am overwhelmed by your responses, trying to answer each one individually, but, my husband will be home soon, so thank you all so much. Anika, I'm going to look into women shelters tomorrow, I never thought of that, I think they will let me in if I tell them everything. Hamster-Bamster, you are very smart, you really called me out! I'm laughing even though it's not funny!! Everyone on here is very intelligent, I always get good advice. As far as respect, I have lost it for myself, I used to be so strong, now,
I'm so pressured, and afraid. I'm doing things I don't want to do, and, I didn't see a way out. Tomorrow I'm going to look for shelters, thank you for that. It's really amazing to me that someone can suggest something that can help, and I never even thought of it. I will try to check in later, or tomorrow at some point. Thanks again!!!

No one is going to hold your abuse against you or think anything less of you. Please think of going to a woman's shelter even if it's far and you have to ask for a ride. You don't deserve abuse or homelessness. You deserve safety, love, and supportive people around until you believe it for yourself.

What exactly is happening with food? Do you not have enough to eat or do you have enough but cannot eat for psychological reasons?

I don't know if it's psychological, but, I'm just not hungry. I take Lithium, and, Seroquil. It's actually the best combo I've been on.

This combo is not likely to cause a loss of appetite. Anything can happen on any medication, but with your combo, not likely, so it is probably psychological. Is there some food you can eat without working up an appetite - yogurt, apple sauce, oatmeal, a peanut butter sandwich, spooning peanut butter from the jar? You need some protein and if you are not getting it because you are not hungry, it is not good. Not good at all. Even something small - a yogurt here and a spoonful of PB there - would help you.

I know that when I'm very emotional in any way I can't eat. It's like my appetite vanishes. Depression, mania, anxiety, anger... any intense emotion shuts down my appitite. I'm fat so I don't worry much about it, but it messes up my metabolism really bad. It's really hard because food makes me nauseous and everything. Sometimes, thought, when I force myself I feel a bit better after a few bites.

Hamster's suggestions are very good. Even a spoon of peanut butter and 2-3 crackers is better than nothing.

Thank-you for the concern, I do eat avocados on dry toast, my stomach can handle that! Your probably right on the protein thing, my GP has called me back in from blood tests, I just haven't went yet. I feel fine physically! Water keeps me going, very thirsty, thinking that's from meds. I really needed to lose weight anyway, I'm kind of a chunk! So many meds, so many pounds, ugh!

I know it is complicated, because you need proper ingredients and a blender, but if you can get them, a berry-based yogurt smoothie is a very good idea: yummy, protein-rich, and full of antioxidants. And to me, when I am anxious, drinking a liquid food is easier than eating a solid food.

Oh yeah, if you're on Lithium that makes sense you're thirsty. I was on it for a while and I was very, very thirsty all the time. I had trembly hands and had to pee all the time, too.