Am I bipolar or not? Help diagnose me.

Saw the p-doc.

Off Lithium/Prozac since end of Feb.

He said that either I am in remission, because BP is episodic, or, I was mis-diagnosed. The longer I do well without meds, the more he will lean towards the latter.

I did have trouble sleeping and he told me to take the sleep medicine (my only medicine) 1-2 hours before bedtime rather than at bedtime. Either that works, or, that I swim at night now lulls me to sleep.

Got closure... sort of.

The p-doc saw me for the last time in June. He is leaving for another community mental health clinic, in another county.

So he was seeing me monthly Aug 2012 - Jun 2013, and a lot of things happened and got changed during that time.

His final pronouncement was that I might be neurotic, anxious, sure, but am definitely not psychotic. Probably not bipolar, but again, time will tell.

I think he sort of picked up on the main thing being anxiety (in terms of Axis I, and not personality disorders). I do not have depressive lows or manic highs, but currently I have, basically, arresting anxiety, and, as usual, immediately get nauseous and stop eating. Right now it is anxiety stemming from worries about how seeing my son would go. I better spend some time trip planning.

I remember getting lost as a child, several times. I realized that my family would be frightened and worried for me, and that realization sort of arrested me - my limbs went soft, weak, and powerless. Plus, nausea in the throat - such sensations. And then I stopped thinking of the best course of action and panicked. Say, the best course of action, logically, would have been to stay put and hope that they would find me. Instead, I wandered, aimlessly, just making it worse.

Right now the same thing. I need to plan a trip, but the anxiety arrests me and causes panic that does not allow to do step-by-step planning carefully and with a cold head. Pretty bad. But same thing - anxiety bordering on panic. And I get those sensations of almost not having enough air to breathe.

It is not GAD though, because it comes and goes, and is situational.

Hi hamster!
I think it took me about 2-3 months before I noticed any symptoms of bipolar, other than depression, after I stopped Zyprexa 10mg and Lamictal 200mg. I think you're right and time will tell. You can be in remission for a long time though.

That is what the p-doc told me. It is an episodic illness and I might be in a long remission.

At the same time, two things have never happened to me:

- not needing sleep
- racing thoughts

And since these two things are hallmarks of bipolar, he thinks I might not have ever had it. the thing about me is that I sometimes cannot sleep, but afterwards I am completely, hopelessly miserable. Manic people subsist on little sleep not actually needing it - they sort of thrive on little sleep, whereas I am totally dependent on getting enough sleep. Not getting enough sleep is the horriblest thing for me, plus, it causes very unpleasant anxiety.

I'm the same way about sleep! A few weeks ago, I couldn't sleep well for two nights. I felt physically like I had a bad case of the flu-severe nausea (couldn't keep anything solid down), hot and cold flashes, fatigue so extreme that it rivals that of my depressions...On very rare occasion, I can get away with 3 or 4 hours, but that almost never happens.

I'm glad that you're getting answers to your question of whether or not you're bipolar (and its effect on your identity). A lot of people believe that bipolar is overdiagnosed. Good luck with the crippling anxiety; that doesn't sound like any fun. At least you now know what your true issue is, and can work towards addressing it. High dose antidepressants can be helpful for anxiety, and if you're not bipolar, you can take them!

very similar with me

My doc just reassigned me to mood disorder nos and told me that I probably have anxiety with mood instability but not 'bipolar'.

I also get sick when I don't get a lot of sleep.

Try this for your stomach;

6-7 slices of ginger
Half a lemon cut up
A dash of cinnamon or cayenne pepper

Boil in 2 1/2 cups of water for 15 minutes. Let cool and then drink. (Drink it while its still warm)
Ginger helps sooths upset stomachs

We also discussed this with T.

The weird thing is - my late mother, who had her fair share of very unusual and unexplainable ideas, squeezed my nose when I was an infant, on a regular basis, many times a day.

Seems totally bizarre.

She was not abusing me (she told me this story many times being basically proud of herself).

She believed that in order to get me to latch on the breast faster, she needed to squeeze my nose so that I would open my mouth to breathe, and then she would stick her nipple into my open mouth.

It is so weird that she would think that! I mean, I just cannot comprehend what was going through her mind - surely evolution must have ensured perpetuation of the species in a more robust way! Surely babies would be drawn to open their mouths and suck on the nipple just because they are hungry and the nipple smells so nice. To think that somehow babies do not arrive with a built-in mechanism that makes them want to nurse is just beyond bizarre.

But my mother thought that she invented a cool trick, and practiced it many times a day, routinely, in the beginning of each feeding (for 11 months).

So the T and I think that some of my reactions might stem from what must have been some kind of a primal fright - I could not breathe! To the extent that anxiety is a type of fear, a baby who is made to fear losing her ability to breathe (=live) many times a day would be expected to develop some anxiety later in life. It is kind of psychoanalytic a bit, as explanations go, but it makes sense to me.

The funniest thing... my mother also would tell me (she told me stories about my babyhood when trying to get me to eat when I was a child) that she was paranoid about my stopping to breathe, and would check on me in the crib often to make sure I was still breathing.

It is unfortunate that she died in 2008 and I cannot ask her this question:

"Mother, if you were so scared that I would just stop breathing on my own, why did YOU make it harder for me to breathe many times a day? It does not make any sense! If you were worried that your daughter might stop breathing, you should have at least not contributed to her difficulties with breathing."

I will try it tonight, after getting ginger from a store! Thank you!

My current problem is that I no longer eat protein or vegetables. When I get so anxious and nauseous, I can only eat some soft fruit or soft comfort foods made from carbs (a bit of mashed potatoes or a bit of warm rice). Cannot eat hard foods that require cutting, chewing. So weird. Almost as if I could only eat foods that require little effort. So weird. And not good - it has been going on for weeks - one should not go without protein for so long.

Maybe I will try the ginger recipe, and after that, try eating protein. Maybe in this order I will manage fine.

You can also try making congee with ground meat and shreded chicken.

There are recipes online and its easy to make enough for a few days. It is a rice porriage with meat.

Great that you may not be BP. My pdoc said that I could only try a trial off meds when I've been stable 3 years .
Spaghetti bolognase with mince meat or lasagna are both easy to eat foods

Greek yougart at least 12 grams of protein.

I second the greek yogurt. Are you drinking okay?

not quite; I am drinking milk, juice, and some coffee, but not drinking enough tea.

will try the simple suggestions

I have not tried the ginger recipe yet, though. But the thing is, if ginger is supposed to soothe upset stomachs, it won't help me - my nausea is up at the top of the esophagus, it seems. Higher than at the stomach level. But I will try!

Salvia helps appetite. Don't worry about getting stoned if you prepare it as tea, you'd need much higher dose (I know). Maybe give it a try?

I will. Have not considered it - I will.

I have a similar issue with food (or rather appetite). I think since I don't get very hungry anymore, I find it difficult to get enough of the foods that require a lot of chewing, cooking, etc: it's work and not rewarding. Eating also makes me feel sick, but carbs usually don't. I try to get fish by having it on a slice of bread (I like salmon, brown trout and mackerel in tomato). I get proteins from milk, yoghurt, cheese, and a little chicken and pork now and then.

I picked up my psychiatric record March 2012-now.

It equivocates on Bipolar but states 300 Anxiety Disorder NOS for every visit. Which I now agree with fully...it is just an unusual anxiety in that I am fine socially and fine occupationally but cannot eat, and even drink liquids, from time to time. I did just fine over the weekend, had lots of protein and felt real hunger, without nausea. But today back to the weird stuff with food. Even chocolate milk is hard to swallow. I found a snack solution though that I am very happy with: Ready Pac Ready Snax veggie, cheese and pretzel snack pack. A few baby carrots, tiny cubes of cheddar, a few pretzels, and red grapes. Somehow everything is to tiny...not overwhelming...and I can eat it. And, it is balanced!

Thanks Confused - I have not tried your tea recipe, but I got hard ginger candy called "Gin-Gins from the Ginger People". They really help with nausea!

I am drinking better. Not enough yet, but better.

I have been forcing myself to eat one 8 oz plain greek yogurt a day. Just slowly, without being overwhelmed, spooning out a little bit at a time.

I will go up to two servings a day...

You know who to contact if you need the herbal tea right. I'm just up the mountain

A Chinese medicine called Pill Curing is excellent & safe & gentle for upset somach and heartburn. My midwife taught me years ago.

Thanks, I will try that. I also realized that I was skipping taking fish oil for days and days, if not weeks, since I am in the habit of taking it with meals - no meals=no fish oil. So I will try to be sure to take it now, as it is supposed to be good for mood...

I have a chinese herbal pharmacy just a few blocks down the street. never been there - there is that first time for everything!