*trigger* I need help and don't know where to turn

Im sat in a hotel room,,, alcohola and pills aplenty.

I don't feel I have the bottle to do this right now but I know as the beer goes down my inhibitions will fade.

I'm feeling very suicidal. I want help but I want to die at the same time. How does that work?

I don't know what to do

Impulsivity is at bay as I type this but hysteria is mounting and I know this calm I've been feeling for the last few hours is going to wash away very shortly.

Im wishing all these years of pain will end... It hurts that it hurts so bad xxxxx

It does hurt- I know. Please do not ever give up on yourself. Is there someone you can call? Is there a local crisis hotline where you can get some additional support? If you really cannot keep yourself safe, PLEASE go to the ER or call your T to help advocate for you, and to help decide what the best next move is for you right now. Even if your support network feels weak, there are other, much better options for you. *Hugs*

Please call a friend, or a sui hotline, or your therapist if you have one. You need to talk to someone right now. I know that it is hard to reach out, but you need to let someone in real life know how badly you're hurting now so that you can get help.

Please do not keep drinking. Stop right now. The more you drink, the more danger you're in.

Consider going to the ER. I know that it is a drastic step, but you sound like you're in a really bad place right now. You need help.

You need to stay alive.

Go directly to the ER if you have any doubt at all as to your safety, and you do seem to have doubts.

One of the first questions they will ask is who they can contact for you.

Do you have the number of your T or a friend that can come when they get that call?

I KNOW I do and am very thankful for that.

So do you have a number?

This place has saved me a trip to the hospital at least once...is it helping here?

Maybe shift the focus to personal goals and tools, something that has to do with the future that you DO have?

I am listening. please keep posting.

we can help see you through this, if you talk more with us. there is hope and there will be better days... you have to believe that!

I have left my phone at home but brought along my iPad. I'm connected to the hotels wi if. I didn't want to be contactable. And no there is no-one who can come and get me cos I've driven half way across the outcry today to be here x

*the country

I knew deep down I wanted to do this... But now I'm here I'm scared

are you opposed to the online suicide hotline? I'm sure they have one. 911 also has an online site too. Are you open to that?

are you in arizona?

I'm in the uk

are there any online emergency services. Don't be ashamed to contact one. It's okay to reach out for help.

You're scared for a reason. Part of you wants to live. Listen to that part of yourself; she's right.

Things will get better.

About a year ago, I was really suicidal too. But now, I'm happy to be alive. I'm glad that I didn't go through with my plans. Your life will improve, and you'll be grateful that you are alive. Just hold on. It takes time and a lot of courage, but living is worth the effort.

you could search out the suicide prevention online, just to see what it is. or search out the emergency services, like we have 911, I'm sure you have an emergency number too. Just search one out... just to see what it is?

download Skype and make a telephone call via Skype. It costs very little.

are you downloading it? update plz....

I've taken 4mg Ativan hopefully it will calm me down and make me sleepy enough to think this through by the morning. Having said that tho,, I been feeling this way since Friday so I'm under no illusion this line of thinking will shift by tomorrow x

sleep! yes! and knowing that the thinking will change! You got it now!!!!!!

Even if your feelings don't change you'll be able to get help tomorrow. Please give pdoc & T time to help. Please stay with us and talk.

How are you this morning? I'm online for the next few hours, so please talk to me. I've been in your position plenty, and I really understand. I want to help you

i hope you are okay, lil ant lady.
we're all here listening

are you awake now? try some sunlight,take a walk it will make you feel better

I'm here. I slept well. Have a thick head this morning. I'm here for a cpl more nights. I still feel bad ;(

Thanks for your advice and concern... I don't mean to worry anyone at all.
I just feel stuck in a world of wonderment
I am really and truly starting to depersonalise