[texvet]

I'm feeling really really low today. All I want to do is sleep. Not an easy task with a toddler running around! I fell asleep on the couch earlier and woke up to her throwing clean clothes all over the living room and chewing on my car keys--apparently she's getting too strong for her playpen gates to hold her back! Oh nooo. It feels good to talk though. I feel less crazy when I do.

[Blue_Bird]

Just trying to make it day by day, was considering going inpatient earlier but decided against it. Trying to get through this myself. Only so many days till Christmas, then after that about the same amount of days until my next appointment. I have to make it to Jan. 3rd, it's going to be difficult but I'm trying

[gayleggg]

Very depressed again. Slept most of the day. Feeling very hopeless and helpless. I received a call yesterday from a friend that suffers depression and anxiety. She has been in the hospital for 8 weeks now. She was crying so hard she couldn't talk. She is able to email so I got an email from her. They are wanting to send her to a residential program which means she will have to sell her house. She is broken hearted. This has really upset me because I'm afraid I'll never see her again. She used be so together and had her on business and it is all just gone. She has made several suicide attempts. I don't have another friend to turn to. I have missed her. Last week is the first I had heard from her since she went inpatient, since I didn't know how to get in touch with her. I was hoping she was improving. I'm so disappointed. And they talking about sending her out of state for this residential program. I'm sorry, I'm just rambling now, but haven't been this depressed in a month. Thanks for letting share.

I was going amazing the last few weeks, today though I notice I am a little off. It fits in to the right time of the month, I am so glad this month I am noticing straight away. Time to put up the antipsychotics and make sure I dont turn into a lazy slob on the couch.

Had too much sleep last night, found it harder to get out of bed, felt overwhelmed by the dishes and all I had to do today, when yesterday it was no problem. I also got triggered into a mad state yesterday but that resolved itself pretty quickly, now I realise why I reacted a bit more severely than I normally would.

Going better with the meditation now too, having full 4 minute or so periods with no thoughts in my mind, every day is just getting that little bit better. And after I feel able to better cope with minor stressors. I just did ALL the dishes and cleaned the kitchen without a care in the world . Next to tackle the rest of the day with a similar attitude.

Having some difficulty getting out of old habits, sitting online craving weed, I didnt have this problem at all on holidays so I guess it is the environment and habits trying to drag me down.

Hope you all have a lovely day/night.

[gayleggg]

Still very depressed. It's like all my meds just quit working. I'm back to hopeless.

[nycgal448]

Goodnite sweetheart well its time to go... dadoodoodooda. Lol

Really wish I could see my psychiatrist sooner than 1/16. I desperately want to try a different antidepressant for this horrible depression, which has been going on for a little more than 4 months now. My CBT doesn't seem to be helping, but I do it weekly with my T anyway. Try to challenge my negative thoughts but it's just so damn hard lately. Feel like I'm in a major slump and just can't get out of it. It hurts a lot.

I really want a job and am trying hard to find one, but I wonder if I'd even be able to handle a job with the way I've been feeling. I MUST make an attempt if offered a job. My husband swears this time next year we'll be in a different financial position (meaning I'll have a job). I hope it comes sooner rather than later.

I hope you feel better gayle and I am hoping your friend improves, too.

I fighting depression and feel like I am losing the battler. See pdoc soon and T today. I like my T but have zero desire to go to my appt. I cancelled last week so I'm already paying for a missed appt.

I'm zoned out and isolating. I know things will improve. It is holiday related. This will pass. Right?

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

I'm zoned out and isolating. I know things will improve. It is holiday related. This will pass. Right?

I tend to isolate in the winter since I suffer from SAD, but this year is going better than past years. The holidays are a great cause of stress, rainyday, but keep in mind that the holidays will pass quickly. When at family gatherings I try to remind myself that my anxiety/depression isn't apparent to everyone...Folks are too preoccupied with other things to notice. Good luck negotiating the holidays; it's highly likely that your present state is simply situational.

[thefosterhousee]

Stable but going down. I can feel myself slipping down into a depressive episode. I just started Lamictal 25 mg. Been on it for about a month and it worked great at first, now I need an adjustment.

[hellboy]

Like crap, but it's an improvement over yesterday.

Relieved. The "turn life upside down" thing is looking quite unlikely now. TG.
Still going to pick up a lottery ticket.

[Blue_Bird]

Can't deal with this anymore. Really hoping my pdoc puts me on an antidepressant next visit.

Feeling quite down and tired today. Nevertheless, will force myself to go to the noon AA meeting and then out to lunch with a prospective employer afterwards. Need to pick up milk and then will probably do my usual t.v. watching until 6 p.m., when I retreat to my bed.

Please let there be an end to this depression.

[bumble2u]

At the end of my tether drinking wine from a mug.

[nycgal448]

depressed, impulsive and racing thoughts.

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by newgal2

Feeling quite down and tired today. Nevertheless, will force myself to go to the noon AA meeting...(

I struggle to attend AA meetings when depressed. When I do go (& am not isolating too much) they get me out of myself. I know if I isolate the depression will only get worse. Congrats on getting out & getting to a meeting...They help us feel less alone.

[redfaux]

I was okay then as i was driving home i was listening to a song and all i could think about was how perfect the afternoon was and how this song is the type of song that would be playing during a movie when everything went into slow motion and just at one of the critical points of the song another car would come out of no where from a cross street and smash into my car and you'd see paramedics trying to save me and my mother would get a phone call and she'd start crying but its okay because that afternoon was perfect and the song would end with a shot of the sun setting over the crash site....... I couldn't stop crying from then on. guess I'm depressed huh?

Redfaux, that sounds like my intrusive thoughts. They happen regardless of my mood state.

Bit low today, having a day of not wanting to take my meds again. I took the antipsychotics but I didnt want to take the rest. Im having some pain issues again today and just want to forget about it. Feeling a bit hopeless and useless. I think I will go meditate now and see how I feel after.

I think I am doing well...which means that there are things I should be concerned about but aren't or aren't aware I need to be.
There is always some thing I forget or don't get right...always...that is just my reality, not me being negative or depressed.

[redbandit]

I'm feeling really depressed and suicidal. I don't know what to do

Im sorry you are feeling so bad redbandit I hope your mood changes soon.

I should be grateful that an "informational interview" with a prospective employer went well yesterday and he actually said he will talk to his partner about the possibility of me working for him . . . but I'm scared. It would be a great opportunity, and I think the money would be good, but I'm scared about my ability to learn what the job involves. I would be working as an in-house collections attorney. I have no experience in this kind of work, but the prospective employer seems to have confidence (moreso than I do!) that I could learn how to do the job.

He wants me to call him after the first of the year. I think if I'm offered the job I should take it and just go for broke. It would be a million steps above the admin assistant positions I've been applying for and would make more sense, given my law background.

[emgreen]

I'm glad you have this new job opportunity, newgal. In my mind, you have nothing to lose by trying the new position out. Depending on where you live there's a glut of lawyers, so I'd grasp the opportunity to work in the field for which you've trained. What's the worst that could happen? Go for it.

Originally Posted by emgreen

I'm glad you have this new job opportunity, newgal. In my mind, you have nothing to lose by trying the new position out. Depending on where you live there's a glut of lawyers, so I'd grasp the opportunity to work in the field for which you've trained. What's the worst that could happen? Go for it.

I agree, emgreen, that I have nothing to lose by at least trying. I have a pretty good feeling he will offer me a job (he's a personal friend and really good guy who wouldn't lead me to believe I had a chance at a job if I really didn't). The worst that could happen is I can't get up to speed on what the job requires and it doesn't work out - - in which case I bet he could find something else for me to do in the company. It's just very intimidating because it's an area of the law that I know nothing about, and I'm not sure how I would get up to speed on what the job requires. He's actually got a paralegal doing collections work right now, and I bet I could actually learn a lot from her!