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  #926  
Old Apr 11, 2014, 09:44 AM
Anonymous37807
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this depressive phase continues. I'm beginning to dread weekends because I feel like everyone else is out having fun and I'm basically doing nothing (watching t.v. which doesn't interest me or being on the internet). Just an intense feeling of wanting to feel alive but knowing I can't do a damn thing about it right now.

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  #927  
Old Apr 11, 2014, 09:51 AM
bipolarcritic bipolarcritic is offline
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Anxious, Afraid, Exhausted, Empty.
  #928  
Old Apr 11, 2014, 10:07 AM
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tigersassy tigersassy is offline
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I can't focus at all. I'm like a bee flying from one flower to another. The attention span of a gnat. I need to gain control over my focus but I've no idea how. Work is not going by quick enough I'm bored and all over the place.

Tig
__________________
Dream Big..... Wish Big..... Believe Big......
PTSD possible bipolar
Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin


  #929  
Old Apr 11, 2014, 03:51 PM
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Standup2me Standup2me is offline
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Awake
Out of bed
Dressed

so far, that is a pretty good day
Thanks for this!
MotherMarcus, Phoenix_1
  #930  
Old Apr 11, 2014, 03:52 PM
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shortandcute shortandcute is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigersassy View Post
I can't. Its fantastic. I'm not hungry I just want to do stuff. I'm really jumpy doesn't help that its super windy and the windows are open. I have so much I want to do. There are really not enough hours in the day.





There isn't anything wrong. I feel great so how do I know its not all better? My wife won't let me stop my meds even if I really want to.

Tig
Whoa!
Either you're manic or you're trying to make us think you are.
__________________
"Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can see the top." -Wildflower

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  #931  
Old Apr 11, 2014, 04:12 PM
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MotherMarcus MotherMarcus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Standup2me View Post
Awake
Out of bed
Dressed

so far, that is a pretty good day
Ha Ha Ha !!!!! Me too !
  #932  
Old Apr 11, 2014, 04:33 PM
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charo224488 charo224488 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2011
Posts: 89
Can't get the involuntary hospitalization out of my head, even though it was only for about 9 hours. Every time I see headlights I think it's cops coming to get me. I accidentally enabled the bluetooth on my cell, and it had this weird symbol on it all the time and I thought it looked like an ambulance symbol so I thought the cops were tracking me until I figured out what it was. My head is killing me. I texted my dr. to apologize for being such a huge ***** yesterday (although I am still so angry) and he didn't answer the text, so now I feel alone and terrified. This depression is becoming agonizing pain that I don't think I can endure.
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  #933  
Old Apr 11, 2014, 05:57 PM
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tigersassy tigersassy is offline
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I don't know what is going on. I'm confused. Maybe I am manic, a bit. My wife thinks so too. Can't do anything about it though because I have no psychiatrist to call until the 21st. I just get to ride it I guess.

Tig
__________________
Dream Big..... Wish Big..... Believe Big......
PTSD possible bipolar
Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin


  #934  
Old Apr 11, 2014, 09:55 PM
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PoorPrincess PoorPrincess is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charo224488 View Post
Can't get the involuntary hospitalization out of my head, even though it was only for about 9 hours. Every time I see headlights I think it's cops coming to get me. I accidentally enabled the bluetooth on my cell, and it had this weird symbol on it all the time and I thought it looked like an ambulance symbol so I thought the cops were tracking me until I figured out what it was. My head is killing me. I texted my dr. to apologize for being such a huge ***** yesterday (although I am still so angry) and he didn't answer the text, so now I feel alone and terrified. This depression is becoming agonizing pain that I don't think I can endure.
Charo,
Sorry to hear of your involuntary hospitalization. Even if it was 'only' 9 hours, that can be like being in jail ... not a nice experience, period. Take good care.
--------------
I dealt all day again with medical coverage/insurance stuff, with the State.
I'm of the belief that I am at such a degraded level of my being that there is no doctor anywhere who can accurately assess and no therapist who can advise, were I ever to get the medical coverage in this State.

I just really really want to go home to the warm Gulf Coast and to my own doctors who know me ... or, the me that was before I was eclipsed.
__________________

Traveling west back toward Eden (interestingly the wise men in the Gospel account of Jesus' birth came from the East), has been full of confrontation with
the trials and tribulations of living outside the Garden.
She is an artist without doubt disappointed that paradise was not as close in 1969 as she and so many others hoped it was. Her work is now filled with the reality of humanity's failure to achieve the prophetic dream of her song, but never without the hope that that day will yet come.
Thanks for this!
charo224488
  #935  
Old Apr 12, 2014, 09:52 AM
Anonymous37807
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Am still depressed but trying to have a new outlook on life: any activity I do outside of my comfortable but unhealthy zone is a small victory, especially leaving the house and being around people. For example, I went on a mile walk with my dogs and husband this morning and am doing a load of laundry, watered the plants. These are all small victories that I shouldn't discount. My comfort zone is being on the internet and watching t.v. Also, I am keeping myself alive and out of bed as long as possible (don't ever do that during the daytime). So, small victories at this point in my mental health journey. Actually, keeping myself alive is a HUGE victory in the scheme of things. And I must try not to beat myself up too much during those times I stay in the unhealthy comfort zone for too long. Does me no good. Have to accept that sometimes, more often than I want, the depression wins.
Hugs from:
charo224488, MotherMarcus, PoorPrincess, SillyKitty
Thanks for this!
Moreta, MotherMarcus
  #936  
Old Apr 12, 2014, 11:27 AM
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Moreta Moreta is offline
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Holy crap! My husband's boss called him and he wants to go into a partnership with my husband. That's insane.
  #937  
Old Apr 12, 2014, 01:53 PM
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SillyKitty SillyKitty is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 562
Doing okay, seeing as how I was inpatient a little over a week ago. Back in php, but it's the same one I was in a couple years ago, and I liked it. Feeling a little down, but prob just lazy because it's second cup of coffee time and I don't feel like getting in the car and going to get any.
__________________
RX and Daily meds:
Vraylar 1.5mg daily, Gabapentin 900mg daily

General Anxiety Disorder; Panic Disorder (unspecified); Borderline Personality Disorder; Schizoaffective Disorder/Bipolar Type; Fibromyalgia; Sleep Apnea

"putting on a brave face, trying to ignore the voices in the back of my head" - Gotye
Hugs from:
charo224488, PoorPrincess
  #938  
Old Apr 12, 2014, 02:13 PM
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Phoenix_1 Phoenix_1 is offline
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Posts: 907
I actually dusted my apartment - my most hated chore. I washed the floors and cleaned the bathroom. I'm taking a break and then I'll vacuum. Yay me!

Sent from my Samsung Note II using Tapatalk
__________________
Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD
Seroquel 100 mg
Risperdal 0.5 mg
Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg
Buspar 5 mg
Lamictal 200 mg

Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure
Crestor for high cholesterol
Asmanex
Ventolin



  #939  
Old Apr 12, 2014, 09:11 PM
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PoorPrincess PoorPrincess is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix_1 View Post
I actually dusted my apartment - my most hated chore. I washed the floors and cleaned the bathroom. I'm taking a break and then I'll vacuum. Yay me!

Sent from my Samsung Note II using Tapatalk

. Bravo! Phoenix! Kudos.
__________________

Traveling west back toward Eden (interestingly the wise men in the Gospel account of Jesus' birth came from the East), has been full of confrontation with
the trials and tribulations of living outside the Garden.
She is an artist without doubt disappointed that paradise was not as close in 1969 as she and so many others hoped it was. Her work is now filled with the reality of humanity's failure to achieve the prophetic dream of her song, but never without the hope that that day will yet come.
Thanks for this!
Phoenix_1
  #940  
Old Apr 12, 2014, 09:44 PM
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Standup2me Standup2me is offline
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Go Phoenix!!

Be proud
Thanks for this!
Phoenix_1
  #941  
Old Apr 13, 2014, 06:42 AM
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tigersassy tigersassy is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 1,256
Have a birthday party for a going to be 5 year old. Am hoping that theres enough going on that my brain stays busy. Otherwise it is going to be a long day. I'm all over the place already this morning. I just want to be able to focus. I'm either too fuzzy from meds or all over the place. I'm thinking thoughts that probably are not true, and I'm trying to remember that. I'm trying to ground my thoughts but it's difficult.

Tig
__________________
Dream Big..... Wish Big..... Believe Big......
PTSD possible bipolar
Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin


Hugs from:
PoorPrincess, shezbut, SillyKitty
  #942  
Old Apr 13, 2014, 08:13 AM
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SillyKitty SillyKitty is offline
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Location: Louisiana
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My neck and shoulder are hurting so badly I want to cry, but hopefully the Tylenol will start working soon. My meds wanted me to sleep longer than I did, so I'm stumbling around...literally. But otherwise doing great!
__________________
RX and Daily meds:
Vraylar 1.5mg daily, Gabapentin 900mg daily

General Anxiety Disorder; Panic Disorder (unspecified); Borderline Personality Disorder; Schizoaffective Disorder/Bipolar Type; Fibromyalgia; Sleep Apnea

"putting on a brave face, trying to ignore the voices in the back of my head" - Gotye
Hugs from:
PoorPrincess, shezbut, shortandcute
  #943  
Old Apr 13, 2014, 08:53 AM
Anonymous37807
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Posts: n/a
depression continues. Struggled to get out of bed this a.m. Will probably wrap up my internet use now and go watch t.v. (my other default activity as of late)
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shezbut
  #944  
Old Apr 13, 2014, 08:56 AM
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MotherMarcus MotherMarcus is offline
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Location: Boston
Posts: 363
Too early to tell. Think I'll be okay today.
Thanks for this!
Phoenix_1
  #945  
Old Apr 13, 2014, 09:06 AM
arya1211 arya1211 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 23
feeling better today, but then I haven't gotten out of bed yet! My usual sunday routine is to drink coffee and watch all my morning shows.

feeling hopeful though.
Thanks for this!
MotherMarcus, Phoenix_1
  #946  
Old Apr 13, 2014, 04:00 PM
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swheaton swheaton is offline
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Location: Maine
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Caught between emotions today.
  #947  
Old Apr 13, 2014, 05:47 PM
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PoorPrincess PoorPrincess is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2009
Location: Santa Rosa Island, FL, USA ... 2014 rudely displanted to the rugged raw severe NW Coast of Oregon.
Posts: 15,307
There is no thing that I can do anymore, save eat something (don't enjoy), use the toilet (yay), and pace pace pace. I have no capacity, no tolerance for tv (even great old B&W movies), not even for the internet, music, radio.
__________________

Traveling west back toward Eden (interestingly the wise men in the Gospel account of Jesus' birth came from the East), has been full of confrontation with
the trials and tribulations of living outside the Garden.
She is an artist without doubt disappointed that paradise was not as close in 1969 as she and so many others hoped it was. Her work is now filled with the reality of humanity's failure to achieve the prophetic dream of her song, but never without the hope that that day will yet come.
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, charo224488
  #948  
Old Apr 13, 2014, 07:19 PM
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Standup2me Standup2me is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 3,475
Tiger - if you are having a b.day party for a bunch of 5 year olds...

you sure are a lot braver than me
Thanks for this!
PoorPrincess, swheaton
  #949  
Old Apr 13, 2014, 07:38 PM
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Phoenix_1 Phoenix_1 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 907
After a great day yesterday I spent most of today sleeping. Oh well. One step forward two steps back.

Sent from my Samsung Note II using Tapatalk
__________________
Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD
Seroquel 100 mg
Risperdal 0.5 mg
Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg
Buspar 5 mg
Lamictal 200 mg

Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure
Crestor for high cholesterol
Asmanex
Ventolin



Hugs from:
PoorPrincess
  #950  
Old Apr 13, 2014, 08:13 PM
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tigersassy tigersassy is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 1,256
Quote:
Originally Posted by Standup2me View Post
Tiger - if you are having a b.day party for a bunch of 5 year olds...

you sure are a lot braver than me
It was one of my nieces bday parties. There were only family children there. It was nice but I'm up too late I was supposed to be in bed an hour ago. I'm not tired. Oh well time to force sleep.

Tig
__________________
Dream Big..... Wish Big..... Believe Big......
PTSD possible bipolar
Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin


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