Random Question: Why don't WE want to shower?

Who says it has to make sense anyway? We are all here for sick brains. Of course we don't make sense 😄

I guess that's just me believing that everything has a reasonable explanation to it, even if it's maladaptive or unwanted behavior. That's also probably me just wanting "things to make sense," which is just my personality. I think the correlation between difficulty showering and BP is an interesting one, and the fact that so many are clearly afflicted by it is significant enough to warrant investigation, at least in my opinion.

If I really sit here and think about the feelings around my personal resistance to showering, I attribute it to lack of motivation/energy caused by depression, which is biological. So my brain is basically convincing me that not expending the energy to shower outweighs the benefits of showering, and outweighs even the positive reaction I have after the shower. Not rational, but depression isn't rational. For me, that makes sense, and it's a reasonable explanation I can accept, but naturally it is different for everyone.

Of course, I'm not saying things always end up making sense, but I guess part of me believes that if I can't figure out the answer or just don't know, that there's someway to get the answer or someone who would know out there. I should also say I have a very strong leaning towards neurobiological explanations of psychological behavior, and find the term "mental illness" rather pejorative and stigmatizing, as it implies "it's all in one's mind." It's not. As you point out, we all have "sick brains." There are physical things happening up there responsible for all of our collective symptoms, behaviors, moods, emotions, whatever. One of them just happens to be aversions to showers for X reason. I find it both fascinating and comforting to know I'm not alone about something so random, yet so affecting, and all because of BP. That amazes me.

I have the same issue now. I used to shower twice a day before...

I am on four day of no shower, and there's no end in sight. :[ My husband saw my black feet when we went to bed and told me to go get a shower, which of course, I didn't. I think he was disgusted. But I don't know what to do. Many soaps and bright colors, lists, rewards... none of that sound like it would work for me. At first it was just I didn't shower. Now I am literally afraid to shower. Shower and baths were where I would self mutilate, and I'm terrified of hurting myself again. Someone mentioned dry shampoo. How does that work? It sounds like something I would be interested in trying. I also need to be motivated to brush my teeth and also to shave?

My friend with bath and shower fears has her partner sitting in the bathroom with her. That feels safer. Might help you with the SI issues,tailie angel

Thanks. My husband is out of town but maybe when he gets back that is something I can try.

That was well written. Thank you for that. My comment was truly me just kidding. I hope it didn't sound offensive to anyone! My sense of humor is bizarre, but it doesn't always translate via messages. The medical community is making progressive on figuring out what exactly is going wrong in our brains. I often feel like it's not soon enough. That's the depression talking of course. I suspect depression and anxiety are a big part of us not showering. At my worst moments I neglected hygiene in every possible way. It's still a struggle though.

I am glad I found this discussion. Wherever I search on the internet about this subject, all I get is "you are lazy!". "What, you don't shower everyday?" and that. No interesting discussion, why it really happens. Just that it's laziness and should be trivial. But it's not trivial for some of us and nobody every discuss why would someone avoid such a trivial task? I think I have some possible answers for myself, parts of them are kinda philosophical on social norms and how it's invalid with myself.

At first it puzzled me a lot. Because I couldn't find why I don't shower frequently, yet I couldn't answer why I should either. The obvious answer is hygiene, yet I believe that in most people it's a strong social norm that they practice religiously. Just think that most people even preach one bath or two every day, while I read studies which say that so frequent bath might even be not so good for you. Most of us don't know what happens in our body we might think we do it for good hygiene even if we do it too excesively, but it's just a social norm I believe and that's what positively motivates most people who don't suffer from this.

There is no obvious positive feedback about hygiene from taking a shower. I don't see some highscore of germs killed or suddenly feel more healthy. Meanwhile it's a chore sometimes, removing my clothes, getting cold, although it's a bit nice when you are under warmth, but then again cold and wet. There is nothing in it that will reinforce positively the little sapiens, if you know what I mean. At least in me and many of us. Maybe few people do really enjoy it, but I think many are socially reinforced to do it and they do like the social feeling of belonging or being as clean as the rest or not being a dirty outcast.

In a nutshell, I think that maybe few people do really enjoy baths and cleaniness, many don't have a special reason to do it but succeed so because it's more important for them to be socially accepted, while few fail to be motivated because of lack of direct feedback and maybe social apathy.

It's just my theory about me. There are a lot of situations in my life where my acts and peculiar mannerisms might be too awkward or abnormal, and in the back of my mind I do feel that maybe I should be ashamed of these, but somehow disregard this. Not enough motivation to make a shower so frequently and not enough social shame to force me to make it a habit either. A "normal" person would have found my situation horrendous and couldn't stand watching himself like this.

However I don't totally disregard social norms. Unfortunately I am stuck in the middle. I am reluctant to follow some of them, like taking daily shower, yet I realize I am not "normal". Then I defend myself against this idea, like who says what is normal or not (and I am stuck in the other thoughts, like it's not just about normal, but some people who are sensitive to smell and can't stand it). I am lost with this, constantly feeling like a little child, wondering why I don't do what everyone does, yet arguing who says this is the normal thing to do?

But I don't disregard. Since I have the shame. What doesn't happen is I don't feel either a social connection. I think most people do shower because of the social connection, that they are just like the rest, there is a common feeling of belonging. I can't explain. But that's my conclusion. I miss this connection to other things. I never do things just because I feel nice with following social norms. I do things because my inner ancient homo sapiens tells me to do. And he is indifferent about showering.

It's really complicated because it's a social norm first yet we mistake that people are primarily motivated to do it for good hygiene reasons. I used to do once per week, now I try at least once every two days (but not every single day, that's insane for me).

I read on quora - posted by a dentist - that one should brush one's teeth first thing in the morning, and there was a lengthy explanation that had to do with acid and enamel and if anybody is interested in the rationale, I can find the post and post a link. So I started doing it. And I timed myself - it turned out, I was not brushing my teeth for the full two minutes. I thought I had an idea of how long two minutes last, but no. So now I am taking the toothbrush with the toothpaste on it to the kitchen, set my microwave timer for 2 mins, and brush. The burst of freshness wakes me up better than coffee can, and knowing that I already have accomplished a major hygiene step (mouth health impacts a lot of things, including heart health, so it is not cosmetic only) so early in the day makes me more likely to take care of hygiene throughout the day. Getting into this habit sort of killed two birds at once, when I least expected it.

I'm the OP of this thread and still struggle with it. I just got out of inpatient and most people in my unit were bipolar. I swear the whole time I was there only one person showered. I'm home now and still sitting here trying to convince myself to shower!!!! I don't understand but at least I know it's not just me.

I do not remember showering the month I was inpatient. OMG

My t says its partly because a nightly bath and being wrapped in a clean dry towel were never part of my life as a child. I remember my dad giving us a bath on saturday nights while my mother worked nights til i started fifth grade. once a week whether we needed it or not when i stopped working, i stopped showering. I need to find a reason. To treasure my body.

This is not directly related, but I wanted to thank you for telling me to floss while watching TV. I could not do it - the flossing thing is just too damn hard for me nowadays - but your suggestion made me start thinking and I found the GUM picks solution. At least the manufacturer claims that the GUM picks are as good as flossing. Even if they are worse than flossing, they gotta be better than nothing. Before bipolar, in my twenties, I was a meticulous flosser. Now, no way - but the GUM picks give me that fresh feeling in the mouth and hopefully fight plaque just fine.

Thanks for this thread-it is interesting how many of us struggle with something that seems to be a no-brainer for most-I've struggled with the whole daily shower off & on it seems like forever & feel really frustrated when I can't seem to just make myself do this seemingly simple task. A couple of weeks ago I added daily shower to my dry erase board to help motivate me. It feels supportive to find I'm not alone with what on some days seems to be a herculean task-I'm also working at being kinder to myself on days that I don't get as much done instead of being so angry & frustrated-some days it works better than others.

I know poor hygiene is often associated with depression but it's such a relief to read actual people saying how tough it is just to get in the shower. My Fibromyalgia only exacerbates the situation.

I've been brushing my teeth every morning lately and I consider each time a big victory.

I was never a shower every day person, but when I'm down, it can get really, really bad.

I'm having an awful time with it. My back is just so bad I literally nearly collapse standing up in the shower. I have to get a shower seat and a hand held shower head.

I thought I knew how long 2 minutes and 60 seconds were as well, then I received a sonic toothbrush for Christmas one year. It goes for 2 minutes, with a few brief pauses or beeps to let you know it's time to move on to another section of your mouth. I also use it to time my 60 second pre- and post-brush rinsing.

I find the morning mouth cleansing definitely helps because I just woke up, but hey, I accomplished something!

((((Angelique67))))

Thank you, (((angelene)))!!!!

For me, I shower most days now that I work in an office with people and I am pretending that I am normal. But, most weekends, I don't bother. When I was very sick, sometimes I would go two weeks without showering or changing my clothes.

I too have the shower hating thing going on. I don't know why either. Once I finish, I usually feel better, but getting started is hard, even if I am sweaty from exercising. Maybe I just don't want to face the day. I often find it hard to get out of bed too. That said, I am great about taking care of my teeth. Never a day goes by without flossing. I probably brush way too long, about four minutes per session. Squeaky clean.

I hate to admit it even to myself but I have this problem as well. I guess it feels like a lot of work and takes time but I love the way I feel after.

Thickntired -Herbal Essence dry shampoo works great!

I shower once a week. Not enough.

I thought I was the only person with issues with showering. I hate it. I guess I just dont care enough

I showered yesterday!